


Their Winter Soldier

by Phlinting



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Happy Ending, M/M, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Multi, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Clint Barton, Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-06-10 09:39:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 46,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6951181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phlinting/pseuds/Phlinting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky chose to be refrozen rather than risk being triggered again and hurting innocent people, but how will he cope when the cryo facility is attacked and Bucky has no choice but to spend time in an isolated safe house with Clint Barton, his wife Laura, and their three kids?</p><p> </p><p>  <em>~*~ Please note this story asks (and eventually answers) a lot of questions about the events of CA:CW from the POV of the characters who were involved and/or affected. It has plenty of confused heroes and lots of hurt feelings, but there is no Team Cap or Team Iron Man "bashing." <em></em></em></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is my way of trying to resolve the discombobulation CA:CW left me feeling. It begins after the end of the movie and is my idea of a sequel that fixes everything that CA:CW destroyed. :o)

Bucky was cold.

So damn cold.

But it was the shivering that said something was wrong.

"Steve?" he asked, trying to remember the past few minutes. They'd decided—well, Bucky had decided, Steve had been against it—that he needed to be in cryostasis until they could find a way to remove Hydra's programming from his brain.

But they weren't using the old Russian technology. They were in Wakanda and King T'Challa had offered to help. Had something gone wrong?

Bucky moved his lips again, only now realizing that he wasn't forcing enough air out of his lungs to make actual sounds. "Steve?" he asked in a voice as loud as he could muster. It was barely a whisper but when he got no answer panic began to swirl through him.

He'd always known they'd come for him, but he'd foolishly believed that they wouldn't find him in a place as remote as this one.

"Steve?" he asked one last time, begging for it to be him and not some Hydra goon with a book full of code words.

"It's okay, Bucky," a woman said quietly. "Just relax and breathe. It's going to be fine."

Bucky didn't recognize her voice, but the very fact she'd called him Bucky rather than Soldier went a long way to easing his panic. It was very likely that she wasn't what she seemed, but while he was this helpless he had no choice but to hope he wasn't about to be triggered and used for someone else's murderous intentions. 

"He's waking up," the woman called to someone else. "Clint he's going to need your help to walk."

"Clint?" Bucky asked, wondering why the name was familiar.

"Yeah, Buck. It's Hawkeye," the man said, moving closer. "Cap sent us to get you the hell out of here."

Bucky forced his eyes open but everything was hazy. He'd had this problem every single time they'd woken him up, but for some idiotic reason he'd thought this time would be different.

Apparently not.

"I can't see," he whispered, somehow ashamed of the weakness, but needing Clint and the woman to know. Right now he was a liability and judging by the not-so-far-away booming sounds his timing sucked.

He startled like a new-born colt when a young child cried out no more than a few feet away from him. He swung his useless gaze in the direction of the noise and could only make out a couple of human-like shapes. Either they were further away than they sounded, or they were rather short people.

"Laura, are you right with the kids?"

The woman didn't respond verbally, but judging by Clint's soft laugh she'd responded with a roll of her eyes or a mock withering glare.

"Okay, time to move this party to a more fun location," Clint said as he stepped closer. "Buck, I have to touch you to help you. Don't freak out on me, okay?"

"Okay," Bucky managed to whisper, flinching only a little when he felt Clint's warm hand on his arm. "Sorry." 

"Shit, don't apologize, Buck. I read the files. I know what usually happens with this part."

Bucky nodded minutely, concentrating on keeping his breathing controlled. If he let memories of the past control him he'd put Clint, the woman, and an unknown number of kids in danger. It was bad enough that innocent people had died at his hands in the past because he'd been ordered to do so. Getting innocent people killed while they were trying to help him was the last thing he wanted.

He forced his knees to lock so that he didn't slide straight to the ground and used every ounce of determination he owned to stay upright. He didn't refuse the help when Clint wedged a solidly muscled shoulder under his arm and practically dragged him from the room.

"Hawkeye," a tiny voice said over what seemed to be a communication device, "status?" At least Bucky's ears seemed to be working okay.

Bucky felt Clint move a hand to his ear even as they hurried their way out of the cryostasis room.

"We'll be wheels up in two minutes, Cap," Clint said calmly. "See you on the other side."

"Thanks, Clint," Steve said, his voice filled with what sounded like relief. The background noises weren't exactly calming—there was a rather vicious gun battle going on somewhere near Steve—but Steve had survived far worse. After all, he'd gone up against the Winter Soldier twice and survived. 

Bucky's vision and balance were both beginning to return by the time they reached some sort of hanger bay. "Quinjet?" he asked, squinting at the shape.

"Kind of," Clint replied, his voice maybe a little smug. "Tony is not going to be happy when he learns the Wakandans are even better at aerodynamic design than he is."

"If they have air support…" Bucky mumbled worriedly.

"They won't see us," Clint said confidently as he dropped Bucky into the co-pilot's seat and started the preflight sequence. Bucky considered moving to help the woman secure the children into their seats, but by the time he'd finished the thought she was done and strapped in herself.

And then Bucky sat there watching in stunned silence as Clint easily maneuvered the small aircraft through an entire fleet of military helicopters without anyone apparently noticing they were there.

A few minutes later and with only empty sky in front of them, Clint took a deep breath, grinned at Bucky and then explained, "Wakandan stealth technology. Basically, we're invisible."

~*~

Laura could see the tension growing in every line of her husband's frame. He was undoubtedly planning for every contingency, his SHIELD training coming to the fore as they once again ran for their lives.

With the rest of the Secret Avengers fighting to give them time to escape, Clint had the twin pressure of needing to fulfill his mission and wanting to go back to help his teammates. It was an unfair situation, but then again, when had anything been fair in the past four years.

Clint would have been just another jobless SHIELD agent if Loki hadn't taken over his mind, used him to disable the hellicarrier, and then left him in a situation where he'd needed to join a bunch of enhanced superheroes in order to stop an alien invasion.

Everything Clint had done since that day had been because of what had happened with Loki—including the part where he'd done the right thing by supporting Captain America in his bid to shutdown five more super soldiers even more dangerous than the Winter Soldier. 

At least Bucky seemed to be getting better. He kept glancing over his shoulder, obviously wondering who she and the kids were. Considering the rest of the Avengers had only learned of their existence less than two years ago it was a look she'd gotten used to. She decided to try and at least satisfy the guy's curiosity.

"I'm Laura Barton," she said next time he glanced her way. "And these are our kids Cooper, Lila, and Nathaniel."

He swore quietly. "You're here because of me."

She was pretty sure of the logic he was using to reach that conclusion but it wasn't the whole of the story. 

"We're here," she said, glancing again at the tightness of her husband's shoulders as he piloted the small aircraft and then fixing her gaze on the man now looking at the hand in his lap, "because protecting you and helping Steve and the others was the right thing to do."

"And because my dad kick's ass."

"Language," Clint said in his laid-back drawl. "How many times do I have to remind you, Coop, that Captain America doesn't like swearing?"

Bucky made a brief choking sound and Laura was hard pressed not to laugh with him. Steve may not appreciate men swearing around women and children, but he'd been a soldier in Europe during World War II. There was no way he didn't know how to swear in at least three languages, maybe even a dozen.

"How long was I under?" Bucky asked almost as if he expected them not to answer.

"Just short of a year," Laura said with what she hoped was a smile that inspired confidence. "The Wakandan scientists were still researching a short-cut cure for your programming, but it looks like we might just have to do things the old fashioned way." 

"Old fashioned way?" Bucky asked worriedly.

"Time and talking and patience," Laura said firmly. 

"I'm dangerous," Bucky whispered, casting a fear-filled glance at the three kids. He looked like he was on the verge of panic. "I can't… If they…"

"They won't," Clint growled with all the conviction of purpose he possessed. 

"Bucky," Laura said, again using that firm tone that she'd perfected thanks to having to deal with three kids in the middle of a potential warzone, "you aren't a danger to us. You, Bucky Barnes, the man inside. You aren't a danger to anyone."

"But I'm not the only one inside," Bucky whispered in a broken voice.

~*~

Clint knew that feeling well. He also knew it was bullshit. Yes, Bucky could be triggered by a handful of Russian words, but that didn't make him dangerous. That made him a vessel. A weapon for someone else's evil. Not his own. Never his own.

Now that they were out of the immediate danger, Clint switched the aircraft onto autopilot and turned his seat to face Bucky.

The man was shivering like he was cold, but it was the hand flexing agitatedly in his lap that showed his true anxiety. Clint leaned over and reached for those restless fingers, pulling them into the warmth of his own hand as Bucky's gaze rose to meet his.

"I know what it's like to have someone else in my head. I remember the hollow feeling when I'd realized what I'd done." He leaned forward and cupped the back of Bucky's neck. "You're not alone in this, Buck. We're going to get you through it, but we need for you to stay strong, to keep trying."

Bucky closed his eyes against the tears that threatened to fall and nodded slowly.

"I will," he said, accepting their help, at least for the moment.


	2. Chapter 2

Three days they'd been at the rendezvous point waiting for the others, and seventy-two hours without contact from the outside world was beginning to affect them all in varying degrees, but it was upsetting Bucky worse than any one else.

He was quiet and withdrawn and looking more ragged each day. He'd turned down every invitation to eat with them. He said he was feeding himself, but Laura didn't quite believe him. She had no doubt that he was capable of doing everything he needed to do with only one arm but whether he was actually eating was not entirely clear.

"Dinner," Laura ordered as she knocked on the door to his room. He'd spent most of the past three days shut inside and she'd had quite enough of it. She opened the door.

He seemed startled, but he shook his head and said politely. "Thank you, but I'm not hungry." 

"Not a request," Laura said, turning her best glare on the man.

His face revealed his surprise, but he quickly hid his reaction. "Laura," he said in a tone that may have been slightly exasperated.

"Nope, not listening. We're off the map, in the middle of nowhere. No one is going to use a code word to trigger you. Dinner. Kitchen. Now."

Bucky's lips quirked into what might even have passed as a smile for a man as troubled as he was, but at least he moved to do as he was told.

Steve would probably be horrified to hear her bossing Bucky around like that, but Laura still remembered how intense Clint had sometimes gotten after his experience with Loki. There had been times when he'd needed her to distract him and pull him out of his own head.

"Dinner time," she called in a sing-song voice as she passed the room where Clint, Cooper, and Lila were playing a board game that apparently required lots of tickling. If there was one good thing about the collapse of SHIELD—well the SHIELD everyone else knew about, not the underground reboot that Phil Coulson was building—it was that the kids saw a lot more of their father.

It had been good for Clint too, despite the guilt he continued to feel. She was still thinking about how to get Bucky more involved in their day-to-day family life without freaking him out when she heard her youngest stir.

Of course Nathaniel would wake from his nap just as she was serving dinner—he'd been unsettled and out of routine for the past three days—so Laura doubled back to collect him and, despite being well practiced at doing most things one handed with a child on her hip, she walked over to where Bucky stood just inside the door of the kitchen area and handed her son over.

Bucky reached automatically to take him, but then froze as if he'd done something wrong. Laura pushed her son the rest of the way to Bucky's chest so that he had no choice but to wrap his arm around him. Nathaniel grinned and bounced happily, babbling a mixture of English, Russian, Sokovian, and Wakandan as he tried to catch a fistful of Bucky's hair. Laura laughed softly. "Word soup," she said, smiling at her youngest. "That's what happens when a child is raised in a multi-cultural extended family."

Laura couldn't help but grin wider when Bucky replied to her son in Russian.

~*~

Clint was really glad that Bucky finally decided to join them for a family dinner. He understood the fear Bucky was dealing with, but holding himself apart from people wasn't the answer. While he'd been in cryostasis the Wakandan scientists had argued back and forth over the best ways to eradicate the lingering Hydra programming hidden in Bucky's brain.

But none of their theories had sat well with Clint. Especially the ones that seemed as horrific as the methods Hydra had used.

"Why were you in a freezer?" Lila asked, her question coming completely out of the blue. She'd expressed curiosity about the man staying with them, but she'd been too shy, until now, to speak to him directly.

Bucky looked like a deer caught in oncoming headlights, his eyes darting to Laura in a silent plea for help. Before she could open her mouth, Lila—Clint's sweet, precocious, gonna-be-a-handful-when-she-reaches-adolescence daughter—explained her reasoning.

All three adults sat mute as Lila lectured the whole table on how dangerous it was to play in a freezer and how Bucky shouldn't take stupid risks with his life. "You could have died, Bucky," she said earnestly, finishing her lecture by attempting to extract a promise from Bucky that he wouldn't do something so silly again.

Again Bucky glanced to Laura for help but since Clint's beautiful wife was trying very hard to stifle her amusement she was unlikely to be able to provide much aid. Clint spoke up for the first time, but it probably wasn't the type of assistance Bucky had been seeking.

"Lila makes a good point," he said, reaching over to curl his hand over Bucky's shoulder. "Hiding in a freezer isn't going to solve anything." He glanced at his wife and smiled warmly. "You have friends here. Whatever you need Buck. We're here to help."

~*~

Bucky refrained from giving them a very graphic explanation of what might happen to Clint and his family if someone managed to trigger Bucky again. He was still searching for the words to explain without terrifying and traumatizing the kids when Laura stood up and started clearing the table.

"We'll do the dishes," Clint said, rising as well and taking the plates and utensils from Laura's hands. "Won't we kids?"

Cooper rolled his eyes, but Lila grinned and nearly fell out of her chair in her enthusiasm to help. Bucky was planning a very rapid retreat to his bedroom, but Laura made that rather difficult when she again handed Nathaniel to him. Right at that moment Bucky was both grateful to not have the metal arm—it was a weapon and made him far more dangerous—and at the same time missed it desperately. Toddlers were hard enough to wrangle with two arms.

"Laura," Bucky said, unsure what he wanted to say but feeling the need to say something.

Apparently she read the situation easily and still refused to give him an easy exit. "Let's get out of their way before they change their minds," she said as she steered him out of the kitchen and toward the corner of the main room where a selection of sofas were arranged around several coffee tables. The complex was large enough to hold all of Steve's friends and their families, but so far it was only Bucky and the Barton family who'd made it to this safe house in the middle of nowhere. Clint had already explained that the others were taking different routes in the hopes of keeping this secret base a secret.

Laura pretty much pushed Bucky onto the sofa, and then grinned widely when Nathaniel curled sleepily against his chest.

"They'll get here soon enough," Laura said, glancing around the rest of the large room, "and then we won't get a moment's peace." 

"That's not very comforting," Bucky said honestly. "I shouldn't be around people."

Laura gave him a sad smile and shook her head. "Then how will you ever learn to resist the programming?" She seemed to hesitate for a moment. "I lived in the dark for a long time. I didn't know where Clint was or what he was doing, or much of anything about his job before the Chitauri invasion." She glanced in the direction of the kitchen as if she could see through the wall where Clint was washing dishes with their kids. "What Loki did nearly broke him."

"What Loki did?" Bucky asked, unsure what Laura was talking about but also realizing that she was trying to tell him something important.

"He took over Clint's mind, and ordered him to help with the Chitauri invasion. Clint killed many people in those few days." She exhaled a deep breath and glanced again at the doorway that led to the kitchen. "He remembers every single one. Every innocent person, every agent, every friend that he shot. He knows what it's like to be forced to do things you would never dream of doing if you had the choice."

Bucky was really surprised to hear that, but it did explain what Clint had meant that first day when he'd told Bucky he knew what it was like to have someone else in his head. Clint seemed so normal, so well adjusted. To think that he'd survived a similar type of horror to what Bucky had experienced was nearly unfathomable.

"Clint let us help him," Laura said quietly. "Just by existing, the kids and I remind him of all the reasons why he needs to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and for why he fights for what he believes in." She laughed softly. "He became an Avenger accidentally—right time, right place, right reasons. But he's not a super soldier, or a billionaire genius with a metal suit, or an alien god. He's just Clint Barton, ex-carnie, husband, and father." 

Bucky wanted to protest—in the short time he'd known Clint Barton the man had proven himself a very valuable part of Cap's team—but Bucky also understood the point Laura was trying to make.

"I'm sorry you got dragged into this," he said instead of outright defending Clint, trying to understand where Laura was going with this conversation.

"I'm not," Laura said, smiling now. "I've loved Clint for more than a decade, but it's only in the last few years that I've truly gotten to know the whole man. Even when it would be far easier for Clint to step away, to back down, he does what he knows is right." She reached over and smoothed down Nathaniel's hair, the child now asleep in Bucky's embrace. "You'll never recover if you keep avoiding the very people who can help you."

Bucky shook his head. He wanted to find a way to break the programming, but the risk was too great. "I'd never forgive myself if something happened to you and the kids."

Laura leaned over and placed her soft hand against the rough stubble on his cheek. "That's the exact reason you need to be here with us." She sat back then and gave Bucky a warm smile. "Can you tell me about the trigger? Do you know how your programming works?"

If the question had come from anyone else, Bucky would have feared what the information might be used for, but he honestly believed Laura and Clint only wanted to help.

"A series of code words said in Russian and I become a puppet, willing and able to do whatever horrifying thing they ask of me."

"So the trigger makes you compliant, not violent?"

Bucky nodded.

"Do your instructions have to be in Russian?" Clint asked from the doorway, apparently having overheard at least part of their conversation.

"No," Bucky admitted. "For a long time they didn't even need the trigger words. Between the cryofreeze and the chair, I spent a lot of time believing that I was simply a weapon. If they hadn't sent me to kill my closest friend, I probably would have completed my mission and returned to cryofreeze." He winced but said the words that needed to be said. "I'm not a good man, Clint."

"Bullshit," Clint said casually, moving to sit on the sofa opposite the one Laura and Bucky currently shared. "Even if the history books weren't filled with accounts of your bravery, Steve's actions since learning you were alive would have been good enough for me." Clint smiled at his sleeping son now tucked under Bucky's chin. "Captain America knows the real Bucky Barnes and he risked everything more than once to give you a chance to recover from what was done to you. I'd say that means you're worth saving."

"Or that Stevie's just a sentimental fool who won't quit."

Clint laughed. "That right there," he said, pointing at Bucky, "is why you need to be here."

"So I can tell you embarrassing stories from Steve's past?" Bucky asked, smiling slightly when some of the things they'd gotten up to as kids started to meander through his mind.

Clint's grin was positively wicked. "No," he said, trying to be serious and failing miserably. "you need to be here so that you can remember who you are. Sharing embarrassing childhood stories about Steve Rogers? That part is just a bonus."


	3. Chapter 3

Clint watched the small smile form on Bucky's face and couldn't help admire how much more handsome the guy was when he was happy. True, he managed the dark brooding look pretty well, but there was something truly appealing about Bucky Barnes when he smiled.

Laura looked over at Clint and apparently recognized his expression. She'd always known Clint was bisexual, and she'd met his ex-boyfriend, Phil Coulson, but other than a passing appreciation for a handsome face and a tight body, Clint hadn't come across a man who caught his attention in that way for a very long time. 

Of course it had to be Bucky Barnes—ex-assassin for Hydra and Captain America's best friend—who broke the drought, but it wasn't really that surprising. Clint had always been a sucker for a strong, determined personality. Laura and Phil were perfect examples of that.

So was Bucky, even if he didn't remember that right now.

"Where are the kids?" Laura asked, moving to carefully lift Nathaniel into her arms.

"Cooper is in the shower. Lila is drawing at the dinner table."

Laura smiled as she stood up. "I'll go get them organized for bed," she said, glaring at Bucky until he leaned back against the sofa. It had been pretty clear he was going to use the distraction to retreat to his room, but Clint and Laura had agreed last night that so much time alone wouldn't do Bucky any good. "Bucky, you and Clint have a lot in common. Stay and talk. I'll be back when the kids are settled."

Clint grinned at the look of surprise on Bucky's face. He turned to Clint once Laura had left the room. "Don't worry," Clint said, laughing softly. "The urge to salute will go away eventually."

Bucky exhaled and laughed quietly as well.

~*~

It took a little while to identify the slightly hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach. Her life had changed drastically in just a few short years, and stress and worry had been a big part of that, but the hollow, nervous feeling was familiar in a different way. It was the reaction she'd had to meeting Phil Coulson.

A part of her had always expected to one day share Clint with someone else. He'd admitted his bisexuality on their very first date, and while he'd made a commitment to her when they'd married, she'd never really closed the door on the idea that one day Clint might need something she had no way to give.

She'd often wondered what Clint's expression might be when he was attracted to someone else, but she'd never seen it till now. Ironically it wasn't the physical lust she'd been expecting, but something more genuine, more emotional in its connection. It was just like Clint for fall for someone as broken and in need as Bucky Barnes.

And if she wasn't mistaken, Clint's attraction wasn't one sided.

But Laura also knew her husband well. Clint would never act on his desires. He'd refuse himself and Bucky the chance they both needed because he would never betray Laura or their kids.

So the decision was Laura's to make. Did she ignore the tension between them? Or did she take the risk and offer them both something they honestly needed?

She managed to push the worries aside long enough to get the kids organized and into bed, but by the time she wished them goodnight and turned off the bedroom light that anxious hollow feeling sat in her stomach again.

~*~

Bucky didn't want to talk. He was actually missing the cold of cryofreeze until he remembered Lila's lecture. Smiling at Clint's curious sound, Bucky tried to explain.

"Your kids are amazing. I think one day I'll probably feel the urge to salute Lila as well."

Clint laughed and nodded his agreement. "She's definitely her mother's daughter that one. Although," Clint said, lowering his voice as if sharing a secret, "I suspect Lila may very well choose to rule the world one day, so we'll need to be ever vigilant to keep her away from super villains as she grows up."

"I can see where that might be a problem," Bucky said, grinning now as well. "Though she seems to have a protective streak as wide as her father's. If she does decide to take over the world, it'll be for our own good."

They both laughed and then fell silent for a while. There had been a time when Bucky had been good with people, comfortable in his own skin. He really missed that right now.

"Ah...Laura said," he began awkwardly. "She...um...told me about what happened with Loki."

Clint nodded, clearly unsurprised. "For a long while I was scared to go home, to be around the kids, but Laura eventually convinced me that I wasn't a danger to them, that even if Loki still had control that he couldn't change my core personality so thoroughly that I'd hurt the people I love."

"That seems like an awful risk to take," Bucky said as many of the horrific things he'd done as the Winter Soldier paraded through his mind. "Why would she think that?"

"Faith," Clint said quietly. "Faith in me and who I chose to be despite the misery and violence of my childhood." He moved to sit on the sofa beside Bucky and lowered his voice even more. "It helped when Director Fury sat me down and showed me cold hard facts about what I'd done on the hellicarrier."

Bucky raised his eyebrows, wanting an explanation but willing to wait for Clint to gather his thoughts.

"I killed quite a few agents that day, but the ones who'd been wearing their body armor survived. Even with Loki's order to kill anyone who tried to stop me, I managed to find a way to minimize the damage. I aimed for center mass despite being skilled enough to take everyone down with headshots."

Bucky was glad that Clint had that comfort, but he could hardly say the same for himself. "The trigger takes away my free will. I have no choice in what I do, no control."

Clint shook his head slowly. "I've read the Hydra reports, Bucky, and I think you're underestimating yourself. You never killed anyone you weren't ordered to kill, not even as collateral damage."

Bucky felt a sob lodge deep in his chest, the fervent hope that Clint was right taking root in his heart and mind against Bucky's will. Even if he had managed to avoid killing people accidentally, he'd still done what the evil men controlling him had ordered him to do. His reputation as Hydra's most deadly assassin was well earned.

"I think Natasha might disagree with you on collateral damage," Bucky said, swallowing against the hope that he knew was unfounded. "Didn't I kill one of my targets by shooting through her?"

"You did," Clint said, nodding his head sagely but smiling all the same, "but since your orders for that mission were to shoot anyone who got in your way, I'd say the theory still applies. Nat survived because you chose not to kill her."

"Really?" Bucky asked, not actually doubting Clint's word for it, but wishing he'd read the reports himself. He'd feared stirring up terrible memories, but if he'd been braver he might have found a different way to look at what he'd done. "Do you really think she survived that day because I let her?"

"Yup, but don't tell her I said that," Clint said with a laugh. "The Black Widow survives every situation through her skill and cunning. I wouldn't want to damage her reputation."

"Mom's the word," Bucky said, feeling a little lighter than he had only moments ago. He reached for Clint's hand and squeezed. "Thanks."

"Anytime," Clint said, gently swiping his thumb over the soft skin of the back of Bucky's hand. "Laura and I have an idea on how we might be able to help you learn to resist the programming, but..." He hesitated, then smiled and waved Laura closer when she stepped into the room. As soon as she was close enough he pulled her down onto the sofa so that she was half sitting on his lap. Laura glanced down at where Clint still held Bucky's hand and smiled reassuringly at Bucky.

"We have an idea, but it means you'll need to trust us." She leaned her head against Clint's shoulder. "It's okay to say no, and it's okay to take the time to really think about it—neither of us will be upset if you don't want to try it—but we both believe it will help."

Bucky raised an eyebrow and waited for one of them to explain what they had in mind. Clint squeezed his hand again, pressed a kiss to his wife's head, and then said very seriously, "Give one of us your trigger words."


	4. Chapter 4

_"Give one of us your trigger words."_

Laura could almost imagine the fears building in Bucky's mind. "Think about it," she said earnestly. "If Clint or I use your trigger words over and over maybe we can give you the ability to fight the compulsion from the inside."

"You'd order me not to hurt anyone?" Bucky asked in a hopeful tone.

"We can do that if it's what you want," Clint said carefully, obviously as surprised as Laura by Bucky's enthusiastic reaction, "but the whole idea is to give you a chance to break the hold the words have over you. If we can maybe confuse the programming by ordering you to override the programming while under its effect it might very well break the whole thing."

Laura was still a little bit surprised when Bucky nodded and said, "On two conditions."

"What conditions?" Clint asked worriedly.

"One, that you order me to never hurt you, Laura, or the kids, and two, that you trigger me at the first sign of trouble. If I'm going to be someone's puppet, I'd much rather it be yours than Hydra's."

"For the record," Clint said, his arm tightening around Laura as he spoke, "I don't think number one is necessary, but if it gives you peace of mind, we'll do that. And as for number two, we'll discuss where that line is drawn. We're not going to take away your free will at the _first_ sign of trouble, but we will make sure that no one else can take you over either."

"Okay," Bucky said, agreeing far more easily than Laura had expected. "We can start right now if you'd like."

"Are you sure?" Clint asked, sounding as surprised as Laura felt. "You barely know us."

"Steve trusts you," Bucky said, shrugging slightly. "He's always been a good judge of character."

Clint laughed. "As thrilled as I am to have Captain America's endorsement, I'd still prefer it if you took a day or two to think it over."

Bucky shook his head. "I need that peace of mind." He closed his eyes and not for the first time Laura noticed how tired the man truly was. He probably hadn't slept at all since they'd woken him from the cryofreeze. "I need to know that I won't hurt any of you."

"Bucky," Laura said, leaning over to place her hand on top of his and Clint's, "if we do this tonight, the only order we would give you is to get some rest."

Bucky gave her a smile that showed his relief. "That wouldn't be so bad," he said in a husky voice, "especially if it came with an order not to hurt you or your family."

Clint turned his attention to Laura, silently asking her opinion. She nodded, still not completely sure that they should start this tonight, but willing to cede to Bucky's wishes. The man really was tired. A good night's sleep would definitely help him in the days to come.

"Okay," Clint said decisively. "How do we want to do this?"

~*~

Russian wasn't Clint's strongest language but he knew enough to be able to translate the English words Bucky told him. 

But even before the list was complete it was clear that Bucky was beginning to panic. He was controlling it well, but he'd broken out of an unbreakable prison container trying to stop the last person who'd used these words on him.

"We can stop," Clint said. "We don't have to do this now."

"No," Bucky said, swallowing hard as he tried to keep his breathing under control. "I need this." He glanced at Laura and then back at Clint. "We all need this. Please. It's just a reaction to what I knew was coming every other time. I know I'm safe here. I know this time we're doing it for the right reasons. That this time it's my choice."

Clint turned his gaze to Laura and saw his own worry reflected in her eyes.

"Would it be easier if Clint holds you?" Laura asked. "You've been touch starved for decades. Maybe a physical connection will help to remind you that you're not alone in this."

Clint felt a little guilty for liking the idea a bit too much, but Laura's logic was sound. Bucky's reaction to casual touches showed how desperately he needed physical contact with other people. As far as Clint knew, Bucky Barnes was straight, so Laura was probably his first choice here, but even with only one arm he could hurt Laura if he panicked and pushed out of her embrace. Clint had a much better chance of holding him close and getting out of the way if panic overwhelmed him.

Bucky's initial reaction was to shake his head, but Laura refused to take no for an answer. "I don't mind," she said with a wide smile. "There's enough of Clint for both of us."

Clint was pretty sure that his wife hadn't meant that the way it sounded, but he couldn't control the tiny flip in his stomach when he considered a broader meaning to the same words. He'd made a commitment to Laura, but it didn't stop him from missing the feel of strong arms wrapped around him, holding him down, loving him in ways only another man could truly do.

"Is that okay with you, Clint?" Bucky asked, and for one confusing moment Clint wondered if he'd said all of that out loud. It took another second for him to realize what Bucky was actually asking.

"I'm fine with whatever you need, Buck." Clint smiled at Laura. "And I'm not going to argue when my wife gives me permission to cuddle up to a good-looking guy."

Bucky's eyes widened just a fraction, but he nodded his agreement and let Clint pull him into his embrace. Clint couldn't help but place a possessive hand on the back of Bucky's neck as the man relaxed in his arms and his breathing slowed.

"One last chance to change your mind," Laura said, moving off the sofa and out of range of any potential swinging limbs. 

"I'm good," Bucky whispered, cuddling into Clint even more when Laura continued the slow, measured rhythm of Bucky's trigger words.

~*~

Laura shivered in reaction. The change that had come over Bucky with that final word in the list was pretty terrifying. As he'd described, Bucky truly was compliant, standing to attention and waiting for orders.

Orders he expected Laura to give.

"Brush your teeth and go to bed."

Bucky gave what sounded like an affirmative reply in Russian. Clint nodded his translation.

Laura dropped her head into her hand and honestly hoped Bucky didn't remember her going "mom" on him. They were the only kind of orders she'd given in years, so it was no surprise where they'd come from, but Clint's inappropriate smirk was more than a little irritating.

"You have permission to use Clint as your own personal teddy bear if you want."

Clint stopped smirking, especially when the Winter Soldier wrapped his fingers around Clint's wrist and half dragged, half guided him from the room. Laura followed, almost regretting her impulsive words until Bucky very carefully helped Clint into his bed and then turned toward the bathroom.

"Laura?" Clint whispered, his question very clear in his eyes.

"You both need this," Laura said, reacting on her instincts rather than on the fear fluttering in her stomach. She wasn't going to lose Clint. She trusted him to love her and their kids no matter what. 

But Bucky trusted them to keep him safe, trusted them enough to give them the very control he was terrified Hydra would take again. The very least Laura could do would be to offer him the comfort of sleeping beside another warm human being.

"I love you," Clint whispered a moment before Bucky came back into the room, climbed into bed and pressed his front to Clint's back.

"Love you too," Laura said the moment they were settled. "Sleep well." 

~*~

Bucky woke slowly, the sensation taking him by surprise. He couldn't remember the last time he'd woken because he was no longer tired, but he wouldn't argue with the results. He felt clearer than he had in decades. He reached for his phone and was surprised to realize it was nearly midday already. 

He was still lying lazily in bed going over what had happened the previous night when the door opened and Clint peeked into the room. He smiled widely when he saw that Bucky was awake.

"How're you feeling?"

"Good," Bucky said, grinning back as he climbed out of bed and reached for his shoes. "Better than I have in a long time."

"Are you still under Laura's control?"

Bucky shook his head. "The control rarely lasts through unconsciousness. I think it's why they put me in the chair so often. Controlling me was far easier when I couldn't remember who I was or where I came from."

"Do you remember anything about last night?"

Bucky shook his head. Laura had warned him that the only order she would give him was to get some sleep. He felt pretty certain that was exactly what had happened. "Is Laura okay?"

Clint reached a hand out and tilted it side to side. "The way you change from one word to the next is..." He seemed to search for a word before settling for "disconcerting." 

"Would she prefer not to do it again?" Bucky asked, the calm, settled feeling he'd woken with slowly burning away like fog in new sunlight.

Clint took a step closer, touched Bucky's face, and shook his head. "Laura won't let her own discomfort interfere with helping you. In the bright light of day she's just worried she gave you an order you wouldn't have wanted if you'd been given the choice."

"What order?" Bucky asked, striving for a neutral sounding tone, but unable to contain the slight panic of being betrayed by someone he trusted. Surely Bucky wasn't naïve enough to have handed over control to the wrong people.

Clint laughed softly and Bucky relaxed just a tiny bit. Whatever Laura had ordered him to do couldn't have been too bad if Clint found it amusing. "It's nothing horrible," Clint said, stepping into Bucky's space and pressing a soft kiss to the stubble on his cheek. Bucky didn't protest when Clint slid his arms around him and hugged him close. "And judging by your reaction right now, cuddling me while you slept might have been something you'd chosen, given the choice?"

"Laura ordered me to cuddle you?" Bucky asked, not certain he'd heard correctly. Hugging Clint felt completely natural so maybe there was a little bit of residual effect to Laura's control. Why else would Bucky cuddle up to a married man right now? 

"It wasn't really an order," Clint said, leaning back slightly so that Bucky could see his face. "She gave you permission that you seemed happy to take."

"And you?" Bucky asked, still trying to get his bearings. Clint and Laura seemed happily married. "Why would Laura suggest such a thing?"

"Because she knows I miss having a man in my bed, and she thought that maybe it was the same for you."

Bucky could feel a blush of heat rising up his throat. The sort of attraction Clint was talking about was something no one mentioned in the forties. Bucky had been aware of his own attraction to men, but since he'd also been attracted to women he'd never acted on the urge. He knew the world was different now but he didn't want to cause problems for anyone, especially a couple as nice as Laura and Clint.

"We only cuddled," Clint said, perhaps misinterpreting Bucky's reaction. "I'm sure Laura wouldn't mind taking my place if that's what you'd prefer."

Bucky shook his head and laughed softly, completely overwhelmed by the emotional generosity of two incredible people. He tightened his arm around Clint's waist. "Can I be greedy and say I want both?"

Clint grinned, his expression turning into something wicked. "James Buchanan Barnes," he said, "I like the way you think."


	5. Chapter 5

Laura stood staring out the window, lost in thought.

There were no local TV or radio signals in this remote location and they didn't dare risk using the satellite phone or Internet connections until someone who knew more about encryption joined them. Tony Stark was still on the side of the people trying to find them, and with Tony's shifted loyalties the past couple years, they couldn't risk any sort of exposure. 

Laura had no idea why he'd destroyed the Avengers so thoroughly, especially when he was the one who'd planned to privatize world peace. And she didn't even want to think about how close he'd come to killing Bucky before Steve had managed to stop him.

And she never, ever wanted to think about how she might have coped if Steve and Bucky hadn't rescued Clint and the others from the Raft.

Since Senator Ross was apparently judge, jury, and jailer, with no need to answer to a higher authority, Laura might never have learned what happened to her husband. 

Of course, Senator Ross would never have known about Clint's family if Tony hadn't mentioned them in his self-righteous rant that was an insult to every person doing a dangerous job who'd ever dared to also have a family. 

But Laura did take an extra moment to mourn the loss of their family home. Leaving had been necessary, and Clint had even called in a favor from his ex-boyfriend—a man Tony Stark thankfully didn't even know was still alive—and Phil had gone the extra mile and faked Laura and the children's deaths. It meant her beautiful farmhouse had been burned to the ground and there was no home to go back to, but in some ways that was better. She couldn't lament being so far from home when home no longer existed.

"Laura?" 

A little bit startled to realize she'd been so deep in thought that she'd not heard Bucky enter the room, Laura forced a smile onto her face before turning around.

"Hi," she said, studying his expression in the hopes that she might understand how he was coping after last night. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Better than you apparently." Bucky moved a step closer. He searched her eyes before lifting his hand to touch her cheek and sweeping his thumb gently over the dark circle under her eye. Surprised by Bucky's willingness to initiate physical contact, she nevertheless allowed it. Clint had been hugging her all morning, and it wasn't as if she'd never slept alone, but she'd felt his absence more keenly last night than she ever had before. "I'm sorry," Bucky whispered.

She waved away his quiet words. "Don't be sorry, Bucky. We're helping because it's the right thing to do. I wouldn't be the person I think I am if I didn't at least try."

"But it's more complicated than any of us expected," he said, reaching for her hand and guiding her out of the kitchen and into the large room where she'd used his trigger words last night. 

Clint was sitting on the sofa apparently waiting for them to arrive, and the atmosphere suddenly felt far more intense than it had been last night. Considering the topic of conversation last night, that was definitely saying something.

Laura's heart rate accelerated when she realized that Clint and Bucky had something to tell her. Self doubt slammed her at that moment, the fear that she was about to lose the man she loved feeling incredibly real. She swallowed hard, controlled her breathing, and plastered on that "everything's okay kids" expression that she'd been practicing for years.

Clint and Bucky both deserved to be happy, and if that meant being happy with each other then she wasn't going to stand in their way.

"Where are the kids?" she asked, delaying the inevitable. 

"Nathaniel is sleeping and Cooper is reading a book to Lila."

In other words, the kids were out of the way so the grown ups could have a serious discussion. Laura wanted to rub her eyes tiredly but she refused to show that sort of weakness. She wouldn't manipulate Clint's or Bucky's emotions by falling apart.

Unfortunately, now that they were all here, no one apparently knew where to start.

"The day we met," Clint finally said, indicating for Laura to sit on the sofa beside him, "you accepted me for who I am." He glanced at Bucky for a moment and Laura tried not to be hurt by the warm smile that curved Clint's mouth. "Last night you gave me something that I never would have asked for, that I've never expected you to give."

Laura nodded, not trusting her voice at that moment.

"You're an incredible woman," Bucky said, still standing a few feet away from where Clint was sitting, "and you barely know me, and I know I have no right to ask..." His words trailed away and he turned his gaze back to Clint.

Clint smiled and nodded, apparently giving Bucky permission to ask what he wanted to ask.

"Would it be okay if I slept in your bed?"

Laura wasn't quite sure why he and Clint would want that. The beds in the double rooms were identical so it wasn't a matter of mattress size. And she didn't think it had anything to do with trying to take her place in their family. She was the children's mother, and even if Bucky and Clint chose each other to love, nothing was going to change her status in Cooper's, Lila's, and Nathaniel's lives. 

Appalled by the direction her thoughts had taken—Clint would never do that to her, no matter who he loved—Laura tried to sort through the information rationally.

"I guess I could take the room closest to the kids."

Clint looked confused but it was Bucky's distressed noise that caught her attention. She didn't even see him move until he was kneeling at her feet with tears glistening in his eyes.

"That's not what I meant," he said, the words low and pain-filled. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "I'm fucking this up."

"We both are," Clint said in an exasperated voice. "Laura, Bucky was asking if he could sleep in our bed with us—you and me. The three of us together."

"Oh," she said reflexively, still trying to unjumble the past three minutes. "Bucky, it's okay. Really, I don't mind sharing." She turned her attention to Clint. "I've always known that you're bi, Clint. I don't mind. I'm... It's fine...to be with Bucky. Really, it's okay. And I'd rather you have a serious relationship with someone you care for than...than have"—she hesitated again—"meaningless sex with some stranger."

"That's not what we meant either," Clint said, sounding truly exasperated now. 

"I'd rather share you than stifle that part of you, Clint."

"Laura," Bucky said, his hand lifting to slide to the back of her neck and caressing her gently. "Look at me, sweetheart." 

Laura dropped her gaze to Bucky's and saw sympathy in his eyes. Damn, she hated that.

"Last night was the best night's sleep I've had in a very long time," Bucky said. "I didn't realize how much I was missing that basic human contact. But you did. You saw what I needed and you gave it to me without hesitating, no matter what the potential cost might be to you." He gave her a tremulous smile. "But there's no need for you to feel insecure in your relationship with Clint. Even if I was ready for something like that, I would never interfere in your marriage." He shook his head and gave her a wry sort of smile. "I was only asking to _sleep_ in a bed with you both. I'm sorry that I explained it so poorly."

"Oh, well...um...sure. Yeah...okay. That's... That's fine." Laura wanted to roll her eyes at her own dithering. So much for not falling apart in front of Clint and Bucky. Sheesh.

"It's okay to say no," Bucky said kindly. "You've already done way more for me than I deserve."

Laura shook her head, finally finding her equilibrium. "I don't want to say no," she said, smiling at the grin Clint was now wearing. "How crazy would I be to turn down the chance to cuddle up to two gorgeous guys?"

Bucky looked ready to protest, her words possibly sounding more flippant than she'd meant.

Laura leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together. "I'm sorry for freaking out. I'm usually more rational."

"It's been a weird few days," Bucky agreed.

"But I still want to help and I'm more than happy with the new sleeping arrangements."

"Thank you, Laura," Bucky whispered, the moment growing more intimate when Clint joined them and wrapped his arms around them both.


	6. Chapter 6

"I'm ready to try the trigger words again whenever you are," Bucky said to Laura as he helped her load the dishwasher after dinner. Everything was damn awkward with only one arm, but he refused to let it stop him from helping. 

"Okay," she agreed, giving him a soft smile, "but this time we'll discuss your orders before I use them." She laughed softly. "Do you remember anything about last night?"

He shook his head. "Nothing other than sleep, but it's kind of hard to explain how it works. Zemo triggered me to get a mission report from 1991 and I gave it to him, but I wasn't aware it was there before he triggered me." 

He also remembered attacking several people in a building, and he remembered one of them—a red-headed female who had seemed familiar—being way stronger than her size had suggested. He didn't remember the thing with the helicopter (Steve had told him about that later) but he did remember details of the mission report he'd given to Zemo. And he'd remembered how dangerous the five super soldiers waiting in cryostasis truly were.

Bucky hoped to never speak with Laura about what happened afterward. It was clear that she was still very disturbed by the sequence of events that followed. And Bucky was still trying to figure out why the hell the Winter Soldier hadn't taken out the camera before killing Tony's parents. He'd been told "no witnesses." Allowing it to be recorded was against every mission protocol he'd ever had beaten into him.

And it hadn't taken a genius to realize Zemo had been manipulating them, yet Tony had attacked Steve and Bucky without a moment's hesitation.

Bucky took a deep breath and tried to find the calm he needed right now. "Without being triggered I wouldn't have been able to recall the mission report Zemo wanted." He ground his teeth together frustrated with the messed-up insides of his brain. "It's like there are two different people inside me and very little information crosses between them. I have my memories. The soldier has his." 

Laura turned to him, searching his face as if she might find the answer to a question she hadn't yet asked. "Would you..." She shook her head and tried again. "Is there anything you want me to ask...him?"

"I'm not sure how much he...remembers. The chair was designed to erase short-term memory...I think." Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to recall everything he knew about what had been done to him. Considering he'd been held captive by Hydra for more than seventy years, the sum total of his knowledge was entirely pathetic.

"Maybe he knows more about the machine and what they did to install the trigger words," Laura suggested.

"Maybe," Bucky said, "but I suspect the memories he does have aren't ones I want to share with you." Bucky realized he was talking about a part of himself as a separate person, but it really was how it felt. It might even be more accurate to consider himself as three separate people since it was his training as the Winter Soldier that he tapped into during a fight—triggered or not. "Maybe Clint can ask the Soldier a few questions." 

"You don't have to protect me, Bucky."

Bucky shook his head. "Actually I do. I want to. Please let me try." He wasn't above begging in this situation. Laura wasn't a soldier or a spy. She shouldn't have to hear the Winter Soldier give an emotionless mission report on violently killing someone. 

"Okay," Laura said, smiling slightly. "I'll use your trigger words and order you to answer Clint's questions. Hopefully the Soldier will be able to give us some helpful information on how to break the brainwashing. Any other orders you would like me to give?"

"What did you order me to do last night?" He grinned. "Besides the whole snuggle with Clint thing."

Laura blushed and looked away.

"Was it that bad?" Bucky asked in a teasing tone.

She groaned softly and then hid her face behind her hands. "I ordered you to 'brush your teeth and go to bed.'"

Bucky laughed because she'd said it in the same tone she used on her kids.

"At least I didn't tell you to put on your PJs."

"That might have been confusing since I don't actually own any."

Laura gave him a worried look. "You climbed into bed with the clothes you had on." She blushed again. "Fortunately you were barefoot at the time."

When he'd woken he hadn't really thought much of it since sleeping in his clothes was something he often did—it helped to keep his anxiety at bay if he felt ready to fight at a moment's notice—but he understood why Laura wanted to be more specific in her orders tonight.

"Did you give me the order to not harm you, Clint or the kids?"

"To be honest I forgot about that one." She tucked her hair behind her ear and gave him an earnest look. "By the time I remembered, you were already in bed with Clint so I figured the current orders probably excluded anything else."

Bucky nodded. "They probably did, but perhaps tonight you can order me to protect your family before you order me to talk to Clint."

"Nope," Laura said cheerfully. "I'll order you not to hurt us. I won't demand protection. You're not wandering the halls all night patrolling the perimeter." 

Busted. 

She grinned at his expression. "I know all about you super spy, soldier types. If I'd been able to order Clint to stand down in those early days after Loki, I assure you I would have."

"If I remember rightly," Clint said from the doorway, "you actually did."

"Yeah, but you were lousy at listening," she countered.

"Story of my life." Clint laughed, and stepped closer, touching them both as he moved between them. "Are you two finished yet or should we start Monopoly without you?"

"Monopoly?" Bucky asked. "People still play the board game?"

"Fair warning," Clint said, nodding, "it doesn't matter how many times you played it before the war, Laura is still going to kick both our asses."

"Damn straight," Laura said, grabbing them both and pulling them toward the sofa area where the kids were waiting.

~*~

"Alright kids," Clint said after three rounds of Monopoly where Laura dominated the board each time, "bedtime."

Lila made a disappointed sound, but she couldn't quite hide the yawn. It had only been five days since their lives had been turned upside down yet again, but they had to get back to some sort of bedtime routine as quickly as possible. 

The kids needed that now more than ever.

They'd sort of continued with Lila's and Cooper's lessons, but since stopping to grab text books hadn't been a priority when they'd escaped the last attack and they couldn't access the Internet here until the others arrived, "school" had been an unusual few days for everyone.

Laura looked tired, and it wasn't just the situations with the kids and with Bucky that were wearing her down. It was the not knowing where the others were. Over the past year Laura and Clint had grown much closer to the rest of the team. It didn't matter that Wanda was extremely talented and very dangerous. She was still just a kid and the Avengers were her only family. They needed to know she was safe and being cared for. And Scott, Steve, and Sam might all be experienced fighters, but that didn't make them unbeatable or invulnerable. 

They'd known the others had planned a circuitous route to lose any pursuers in an effort to keep this safe house hidden, but they'd all feel better when someone arrived and let them know what had happened after they'd fled Wakanda.

In his mind, Clint had placed a four week time limit on how long they'd wait before he climbed back into their transport and headed into the second-nearest town to get some answers.

But until then he had to help his family find "normal." 

Well as normal as a family could get while helping deprogram an ex-assassin while cautiously exploring a major shift in his and Laura's relationship.

Yes, Bucky had said he wasn't ready but that didn't mean he never would be. 

Laura had Lila in her arms and was about to leave the room when Clint caught up to her. "I'll put them to bed. Go spend some time with Bucky." And then because he wanted his wife to know she had the same choice that she'd offered him he added, "You bankrupted him twice in ten minutes. The guy looks like he could do with a hug."

Laura hesitated, her gaze flickering between Clint and Bucky even as she handed Lila over. "Good night, sweet pea," she said as she pressed a kiss to Lila's cheek. She hugged Cooper before he left the room, and then turned back to Clint to hug him as well.

Surprised by how much he wanted to watch his wife snuggle into another man's arms, Clint left the room quickly to avoid inappropriate thoughts. 

Kids. Bed. That was his current mission. The fantasies could wait for another time. 

Thankfully Cooper managed to derail Clint's more lascivious imaginings while they waited for Lila to finish brushing her teeth.

"Do you remember that colt Mom looked after for the rescue shelter a couple summers ago?"

Clint nodded. By the time he'd gotten home from a three-month SHIELD mission that had lasted four-and-a-half, the young horse had been almost back to full health. Laura had described the horrific abuse and injuries the poor thing had suffered before it had been rescued, and how hard it had been to win back the horse's trust.

"Bucky kind of reminds me of that colt," Cooper whispered, old enough to realize that comparing a man to an abused animal would likely upset Lila. Clint hugged his son close and quietly agreed. Lila probably wasn't old enough to remember the horse when Laura had first taken over its care, but Clint appreciated his son's consideration of his younger sister. "But we're helping Bucky get better, aren't we, Dad?"

"We are," Clint said, nearly bursting with pride for his son. Cooper was going to grow into one hell of a man one day, and it was going to be mostly because of Laura.

And for the first time since their entire world had gone to hell, Clint stopped worrying about the future and instead thanked whatever higher power that might be listening for this unexpected chance to spend quality time with his family, Bucky included.


	7. Chapter 7

Snuggling into Bucky's embrace was surprisingly easy. 

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything," Bucky replied without hesitation.

"How did you trust T'Challa enough to let him freeze you?" 

When the King of Wakanda had believed Bucky had killed his father, he'd used all of his skills and his diplomatic immunity to try and murder Bucky in retribution. Laura and her family may have lived at the Wakandan cryo facility after everything had been sorted out, but she'd given their host a very wide berth. Especially when she'd learned that when T'Challa actually did find the man responsible for his father's death, he'd not only stopped Zemo from suiciding, he'd also taken him into custody with the words, "This world is not finished with you yet."

Despite his polite smile and handsome face, Laura had not trusted the King of Wakanda one little bit. Just like Tony, T'Challa was a man with money and power who'd blatantly ignored every law of civilized society and had tried to murder an innocent man.

But even if Bucky hadn't been innocent, he had the right to a fair trial. Murdering suspects on sight was not how justice worked.

As an ordinary mom who'd lived an ordinary life, Laura had been appalled at the attitudes of two men who were apparently—thanks to their money and power—immune to the consequences of their own actions.

"I'm not sure trust had much to do with it," Bucky admitted quietly. "I was so desperate to make sure I didn't hurt anyone else that I didn't really care if it killed me."

"You had a death wish?" Laura asked, both appalled at the idea and at her tactless reaction. 

Bucky winced slightly, and then took his time answering. "I don't think it's as clear cut as that," he said. "I didn't want it to kill me, but I didn't want to kill anyone else either." He ran his thumb over her shoulder as he apparently searched for the words. "At the time the risk seemed worth it."

"So you don't want to die?" Laura asked, knowing even as she asked the question that she was fucking this up. A person as strong as Bucky who was having suicidal thoughts was more likely to tell her whatever she wanted to hear rather than the truth.

"I probably did when I was being tortured by Hydra," Bucky admitted, his voice raw, his words sounding very honest. "When I thought it was the only way out, I might have taken it if I'd been able."

Laura tightened her grip on him, shaking just at the thought of what he'd lived through. "And now?"

"Now I have more reasons to live than I have in a very long time." He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Especially if you order me not to harm you or your family."

"I honestly don't think that's necessary," Laura said. She hadn't seen anything to suggest that Bucky was a particularly violent man when he wasn't being controlled by his programming. 

"Can you do it anyway?" Bucky asked, his voice soft and sincere. "If only for my peace of mind."

"Okay," she conceded, unable to deny anything that might help him recover from his ordeals. He was a war vet and a survivor of prolonged torture. Even without the programming, the PTSD could have him reacting differently than he would want to if he had complete control.

"Thank you," Bucky said, exhaling a breath and pulling Laura more comfortably against him. "Thank you for everything you're doing. I know it can't be easy."

"No, it's not easy," Laura admitted, "but standing idly by while you hid in your room was far harder. I'm glad you decided to join us."

"If I remember correctly," Bucky said, silent laughter in his voice, "you used your mom voice on me and ordered me to the table."

"Oh hell," she said, sighing softly, "I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

"Nope," Bucky said, shaking with a silent laugh.

"I don't want to be your mom," Laura said, growing even more embarrassed with those ill-timed words. They were true, but hell, what a ridiculous subject.

"That's good," Bucky whispered, "otherwise it puts a terrible spin on some of the things I've been thinking."

The moment the words were said, they both froze. Only a few hours ago, Bucky had said he wasn't ready for any sort of relationship, but for some reason Laura thought he'd only meant a relationship with Clint. It had never even occurred to her that Bucky might one day want a relationship with both of them.

"Sorry," Bucky said, releasing the breath he'd been holding. "That was inappropriate."

"I don't mind," Laura said. "We need to be honest with each other for this to work. If you feel as if you can't trust me, then what we're trying to do with your trigger words probably won't work."

"Yeah," Bucky said, "but you don't need to know about my fantasies."

"Does Clint know you're bi?"

"He does," Bucky admitted slowly, perhaps analyzing why she might ask such a question.

"So he realizes he sent me to cuddle a man who's not strictly gay?"

"That would be correct," Bucky said, stilling as if waiting for Laura to pull out of his arms.

"I must admit," Laura said carefully, "it puts a whole new spin on everything that's happened today."

"Good spin or bad?"

"Both, neither... I'm not sure to be honest." She settled against Bucky, trying to convey her willingness to explore the subject a little further. "I've always...kind of...made an allowance in my head for Clint to maybe one day have a steady boyfriend as well as having me. I never quite considered that I could be a part of that too."

Bucky caressed his thumb over her upper arm again, but he stayed quiet.

"Anyway," she said, "it's kind of a moot point at the moment. You said yourself you're not ready for anything like that, and we wouldn't push you for more than you want to give and no matter what happens, Clint and I will always be here for you, so...um...we can maybe... And the kids like you. And...um...the others will get here soon and we can..."

Yeah, she was fucking this up. It was apparently going around today.

"Sorry," she whispered, trying not to ramble a rambling explanation for her rambling. Sheesh.

"It's okay," Bucky said, tightening his hold on her just a little. "I'm glad that you and Clint are open to the idea." He shrugged slightly. "I'm probably a very poor choice, but I'm selfish enough to want to imagine it, at least for a while."

"One day at a time?" she asked. Bucky smiled, nodded, and pressed a kiss to her temple.

"One day at a time," he repeated.

~*~

Yeah, Clint knew his reaction probably wasn't normal for a husband when finding his wife in the arms of another man, but holy cow, that was hot. The woman he'd loved for years in the arms of a man he was quickly falling for was an amazing sight. It certainly didn't hurt that Bucky was smoking hot and Laura had the beautiful curves of a truly sensual woman.

He watched them from the doorway, admiring the intimacy of an embrace that was in no way sexual. As always Laura had noticed what Bucky needed—human contact, a sense of peace and safety, friendship, and a reason to hold on—and she offered it wholeheartedly to him. 

If that friendship later turned into something more between them, Clint certainly wasn't going to complain

He had always considered Laura the perfect woman. She approached every day with a generous spirit and a beautiful grace. He smiled as the old-fashioned term slid into his mind. It suited her. She held onto her calm, almost Zen-like quality even when the situation was one she should never have to deal with. He loved her even more for it and he was pleased to realize Bucky appreciated it too.

She'd never once complained or blamed Clint for the upheavals in their lives. She'd always supported him and his decisions, even if they didn't seem as clear cut in hindsight as they had at the time they'd been made.

That didn't mean she never disagreed with him—a healthy relationship always had a certain amount of conflict—but when his conscience wouldn't let him say no, wouldn't let him walk away from a situation where he knew he could help, she'd always offered her support and afterward welcomed him home with open arms.

"You gonna come in," Bucky called without looking at him, "or you just gonna loiter there like some dumbass, beginner spy?"

Clint laughed and stepped into the room. He hadn't exactly been using his skills, but... "Do me a favor and don't mention that to Nat?"

"What?" Bucky teased. "The part where you walk too loudly or the part where you were waiting for me to kiss your wife?"

Laura laughed and sat up so that she was no longer lying half across Bucky with her face pressed against his chest. "No teasing about things you have no intention of doing."

Bucky smiled and nodded. "I'll save the teasing for another day then, shall I?"

Laura blushed a very intriguing shade of pink. Clint had obviously missed a rather interesting part of the conversation.

But that was for the future. Right now they needed to concentrate on breaking Bucky's programming so that he could confidently pursue a new, happier life.

"Okay, so... trigger words?"

"Yeah," Bucky said, smiling softly at Laura. "We need more information on what was done to me, so Laura's going to trigger me and then order me to answer your questions."

"I'll meet you two in bed afterward," Laura said quietly.

Clint nodded. He understood what Bucky wasn't saying, and he appreciated the man's instinct to protect Laura anyway he could.

"Okay," Clint said, taking a seat on the sofa so that Bucky was in the middle. "Come here Buck. Let's do this."

And in an almost eerie repeat of the previous night, Bucky relaxed against Clint's chest, Clint lifted his hand to the back of his neck in comfort, and Laura moved just out of reach in case anything went wrong.


	8. Chapter 8

Bucky woke surrounded by warm limbs. Both Laura and Clint were holding onto him as if they expected him to try and escape. Even in sleep Laura's grip on his arm was quite tight and she was holding his hand trapped between her knees. Clint was half lying on top of him in what seemed an attempt to hold him down despite the fact that the metal part left of his arm would be very uncomfortable.

What the fuck had happened last night?

Unwilling to wake two people who looked absolutely exhausted, Bucky stayed very still and stared at the ceiling while he tried to piece together anything he could remember from last night. 

It was all a blur in his mind but at least this time he'd managed to hold onto some of the memories. Yet the more he searched through the vague recollections the more anxious he became. He swallowed hard, trying not to disturb the people either side of him as his heart started to race and heat swelled through his gut.

"Hey," Clint said, opening his eyes sleepily but obviously very aware that Bucky was awake. "You're okay now, Bucky. You're safe here."

"What... What happened?" Bucky asked, a very big part of him never wanting to hear the answer.

Clint gave him a warm smile and carefully eased away. "Good. You're back with us then?" he asked.

Bucky winced. "I think so."

"Okay," Clint said, reaching over to run his hand over Laura's hair, "so yeah, we're never doing that again."

Dread flooded every cell of Bucky's mind and body. "Doing what again?" he asked in a voice so tight the words barely made a sound.

"Oh, hey, sorry," Clint said. "It's not as bad as it seems." He leaned over and pressed a kiss to Bucky's lips. "The Winter Soldier just doesn't like having choices. A suggestion that he can choose to follow or not is apparently one thing, but asking him to choose what kind of cookie he wanted to have with his hot chocolate was a big problem."

"How so?" Bucky asked, the tightness in his chest releasing slightly but the anxiety still controlling pretty much everything else.

"It seems that Hydra controlled your calorie intake, so when it came to offering you a choice of cookies you started by rattling off nutritional value, energy boost, and several other tidbits of information that we have no way of confirming but suspect are likely true. Then you asked how it pertained to your next mission, and when we said it didn't, you assumed it was a test." Clint rubbed a hand over his face tiredly. "When we didn't follow test protocols as you know them, that's when things started to go downhill."

"Please tell me I didn't hurt anyone."

"Of course not," Clint said, leaning in to press another soft, reassuring kiss to Bucky's lips. "If I had to label your reaction, I'd say it was fear."

Bucky swallowed hard and nodded. The emotion still lingered, but up till now he hadn't understood why. 

"H–How did you calm me down?"

"We tried a few different things—changing the subject, advising you that, yes, you did pass the test, assuring you that you weren't about to be punished, even ordering you to stand down in Russian—but none of it worked until Laura said the magic words."

The woman groaned and tucked her face into Bucky's shoulder. "I am never going to live this down," she mumbled sleepily.

"You didn't?" Bucky asked, laughing softly from relief and at the ridiculousness of the situation.

"It worked," she defended but couldn't stop her own soft laugh.

"Apparently," Clint explained, "the Winter Soldier really likes being told to 'brush his teeth and go to bed!'"

~*~

Clint was very relieved to see Bucky take a deep breath and let go of the tension, and he refused to feel guilty for the tiny lie. The Soldier's reaction last night had been more than fear. It had been sheer unadulterated terror and if Clint never had to see that again it would be too soon.

It was very likely the questions Clint had asked before offering the hot chocolate and selection of cookies that had set things in motion, but they would be very careful with the choices they gave him until they were sure the Soldier wouldn't react like that again. 

"Did you learn anything useful?" Bucky asked, even as he settled more comfortably against the pillow and wrapped his arm around Laura so that she could relax against his side. It didn't take much time for her to fall back to sleep. She'd dealt with young children long enough to know her best chance to sleep was when they did. 

"We learned a few things," Clint said quietly. "The Soldier doesn't remember how the trigger words were _installed_ —for lack of a better word—but he does know they were put in place because you kept recovering from the mind wipes."

"The serum?" Bucky asked.

"Sounds like," Clint said with a nod. "He didn't have enough memories—or perhaps he has them and hid them because he considered me one of his controllers—to connect the two, but he did mention that the longer he is out of cryofreeze the more often they needed to put him in the chair."

"So spending another year in the freezer..."

"Probably wasn't one of the best ideas," Clint finished for him. "But since nobody knew that at the time we can only move forward."

"Maybe we should take a break from using the trigger words."

"We can do that," Clint said, glancing at Laura. As usual she'd reacted calmly, using all of the skills she'd learned while dealing with Clint and his Loki issues, but a few days break would be good for her.

"But we shouldn't," Laura mumbled against Bucky's chest.

"Sorry, sweetheart," Bucky said, pressing a kiss to Laura's forehead as if it was natural as breathing. "We should let you sleep."

"Only if you stop being dumbasses," she said, grinning at their reactions without opening her eyes.

"You knew that part when you married me," Clint said with a soft laugh before turning serious. "You can't possibly want to repeat what we went through last night?"

Every one of Bucky's muscles clenched in reaction but he didn't say anything.

"Last night wasn't my idea of fun," Laura said, lifting up to press a kiss to Bucky's jaw, "but it did prove that the Soldier trusts us."

Clint wasn't quite sure of Laura's logic. "How?"

Laura managed to roll both eyes while only opening one. He laughed softly.

"When you asked about mission reports and procedures that were done, you sounded like one someone from Hydra. The Soldier had a reason to fear you, especially when he thought he was being tricked into breaking the rules just so they could punish him." Bucky nodded ever so slightly in silent agreement. 

"But once we started acting like ourselves..." Clint said, finally understanding where Laura was going with this.

She nodded. "The Soldier calmed down, did as we asked, and barely moved a muscle the rest of the night."

"So the Soldier remembers stuff from my life the way I remember stuff from his?"

Laura nodded. "And I think the more we work with him, the better the chance we have of breaking down the wall between you."

Bucky shuddered, and Clint couldn't blame him for not wanting the Winter Soldier's memories, but it was probably the right path to breaking the programming. The more control Bucky had over both sides of himself, the better his chance of resisting the trigger words eventually.

"We can take a few days off if you need it, Buck," Clint said, wanting to reassure the guy that this was all by his choice, "but I think Laura is right. We just need to remember to be ourselves and not seem like Hydra assholes."

Bucky seemed to weigh his options for a moment. "I'm willing to keep going, but maybe tonight just say the magic words so we can all catch up on some sleep."

"Amen to that," Laura said, her lips curving into a smile as she snuggled back into a comfortable position and went back to sleep.

Clint lifted up to see Bucky's face more clearly and was glad to see the fond expression as he gazed at Laura. They were quiet for many minutes before Bucky whispered, "You're a lucky man, Clint Barton."

Clint didn't even have to ask what Bucky meant. The man hadn't taken his eyes off Laura the past five minutes. 

"You too," Clint whispered back. "Whenever you're ready."

~*~

Laura managed to get through the day without too much fuss. The one advantage to having young children was that she was pretty much used to broken sleep and restless nights.

Of course in the light of day she found herself questioning her conclusions from the night before. 

She had very little experience with this sort of thing. She wasn't a doctor, counselor, or expert in torture survival. She'd known Clint for years before Loki had taken over his mind, so she'd had a solid relationship she knew she could rely on, years of shared experience to draw from, and their kids to remind Clint of everything good in his life.

Yet Bucky had none of that. Not even Steve—the only living person who knew the real Bucky Barnes—at the moment, so it was even more of a miracle that Bucky and the Winter Soldier both seemed to trust her and Clint.

She really, _really_ hoped they didn't do anything to mess that up.


	9. Chapter 9

Sleeping in Clint and Laura's bed the past twelve nights had left Bucky far more relaxed and definitely calmer. Every evening they used the trigger words and every morning he remembered more of what happened each time. He hadn't quite broken the compulsion to seek and follow Laura's orders just yet, but it felt like something he might be able to do if he were so inclined. His trust in both her and Clint was absolute, so there was a big part of the Winter Soldier that didn't even want to try.

It had been a rather enlightening couple of weeks, but the most surprising thing was how quickly Bucky was growing to love the two people helping him.

He'd meant it when he'd said he wasn't ready for anything more than friendship, but spending twenty-four hours a day with them also meant he was getting to know them both way faster than he'd expected.

And he felt truly humbled that they'd invited him into their lives. Even the kids had accepted him as a part of their family, happily telling him stories about the year he'd missed while hiding in cryostasis. Lila had even given him another lecture, this one on the safest way to handle a kitchen knife. 

Yeah, he'd had trouble keeping a straight face for that one, but he loved that the kid cared about the people around her. With parents like Clint and Laura it wasn't really surprising.

"Mornin'," Clint mumbled sleepily, looking over his shoulder at Bucky and then at the empty bed beside him. "Where's Laura?"

"Getting the kids some breakfast." Bucky was lying spooned up behind Clint, cradling him with his body much the same way he'd done the last few nights. "She suggested we get in some serious snuggle time while we have the chance."

Clint laughed. "I am very okay with that."

"Me too," Bucky said, cuddling closer before he realized how intimately they were pressed together. It didn't help that he'd been thinking vaguely lascivious thoughts before Clint had woken. Nothing specific, but enough to have left him with an erection that he'd subconsciously pressed against Clint's perfect ass.

He eased away, trying to put distance between them, but Clint's disappointed little huff was too adorable for him to ignore. He shuffled back to where he'd been and couldn't help but smile at the man's immediate reaction. If he was a cat, Clint would have been purring.

"I know you're not ready for a relationship," Clint said, wriggling so that his ass cheeks pressed firmly against Bucky's erection, "but I could help you with that." He looked over his shoulder again. "If you're interested. No pressure, just um...mutual satisfaction."

Bucky was giving the offer some serious thought, and apparently Clint knew that.

He winked lasciviously and smiled. "Admittedly, I'm out of practice." He seemed to be selling his idea of "mutual satisfaction" as if it was what he'd settle for, yet Bucky knew Clint wanted more than a physical connection. Truth be told, these days so did Bucky. "And you're definitely out of practice so it... well, you know, it'll barely count," Clint continued. "More like a rehearsal session really. Just...you know, getting back into training... That sort of thing. No pressure."

Laughing softly Bucky pressed his hips harder against Clint before putting pressure on his shoulder and rolling him onto his stomach. Clint groaned as Bucky climbed over him, rubbing his erection against Clint's ass. 

"And what do you think Laura would say if she came in here to find your lips wrapped around my cock?"

Clint groaned and pressed back against Bucky's erection. "She'd say 'About damn time.'"

Bucky knew that was true. Laura had been dropping hints for over a week now that it was okay for Bucky and Clint to explore the physical side of their burgeoning relationship. She'd even added a wink when she'd climbed out of bed earlier. She'd used the word "snuggles" but she'd given it a much broader meaning with her generous smile.

Yeah, Bucky probably still shouldn't be taking that step toward a more serious commitment, but he couldn't deny himself or Clint or Laura anymore. He really was falling for them both in ways he'd never even considered with anyone else.

And he really, really wanted to explore this side of their ever-deepening relationship. Very carefully he moved his weight off Clint and rolled the man to face him.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Clint asked, wide-eyed. "As in okay, okay? As in 'yes, okay'?"

Bucky laughed softly before leaning in to kiss Clint with every ounce of skill he managed to remember, pushing his tongue between Clint's teeth the moment he opened his mouth wide enough.

"Yes," Bucky said, finally pulling back to see Clint's face. "You can get some practice in and then you can teach me everything you know."

Grinning broadly, his pupils blown with his arousal, his need for Bucky obvious in every taut muscle, Clint slowly slid down the mattress.

And then he proceeded to prove himself a very apt teacher.

~*~

Laura couldn't hide her grin when Clint and Bucky finally climbed out of bed and wandered into the area just off the kitchen that they'd designated as the "classroom."

"Good morning," Clint said, leaning over to give her a kiss. "I'll take over here. Go have some coffee with Bucky."

That sounded suspiciously like an order, and Laura was about to tease her husband about how bad she was at following orders when she realized Bucky was hanging back, not coming closer, acting as if he'd done something wrong.

Clint followed her line of sight. "He just needs some reassurance."

She was limited in how much of this she wanted to discuss in front of her children. By necessity they knew that Bucky was sleeping in their bed, but none of them were old enough to need to know what adults got up to behind closed doors. They knew Bucky was part of their family now. They didn't require details.

"Okay," she said, moving away from the table so that Clint could take her place. "Thanks."

Clint grinned, waved her away—Bucky had already retreated into the kitchen—and then got down to the serious issue of middle-school math. 

Laura hurried into the kitchen and immediately stepped straight up to Bucky, wrapped her arms around his waist, and rested her face against his chest. He seemed to relax the moment she lifted onto her toes to give him a soft kiss.

"More intense than you expected?" she asked, making sure that Bucky understood she'd wanted them to get up to whatever they'd gotten up to. Considering the completely relaxed look on Clint's face, he'd thoroughly enjoyed himself. She suspected Bucky had too, right up to the moment he'd stepped into the classroom and started to double guess himself.

"Intense is a good word for it," Bucky said, his arm shaking slightly where it was pressed up against her lower back. "I know you said it was okay to..." He let his words trail away, not wanting to risk the kids overhearing. "Will you stay next time?"

She grinned. "As long as the kids are asleep," she said with a nod, "I see no problem with the three of us exploring together, but there are no restrictions here, Bucky. You and Clint can explore that side of your relationship as much or as little as you like, with or without me."

"Same for you and me?" Bucky asked, blushing ever so slightly when she grinned wickedly. 

"And all three of us, together or watching or even just sleeping beside the other two."

Bucky dropped his head to her shoulder and hauled in a shaky breath. "I keep thinking I must still be on ice. That I'm dreaming," he whispered. "That there's no way I could be this lucky."

The tears started slowly, but that small crack in his defenses quickly widened and wracking sobs soon shook his entire frame. Clint hurried into the room, obviously concerned by the sounds he could hear.

"Sweetheart?" Clint asked, looking first at Laura and then at Bucky.

"We're real," Laura said, reassuring Bucky and at the same time sort of explaining to Clint what was happening. "We're here, and we're real, and we honestly love you, Bucky. I promise you're not still in the freezer."

Clint had already wrapped his arms around them both but they tightened when he understood the source of Bucky's grief. It didn't take long for the kids to become curious. Cooper even had Nathaniel in his arms.

Laura beckoned the kids closer and included them in the hug.

"We're your family, Bucky," Clint said, smiling at his kids even as he tried to wipe away the silent tears rolling down his own face. "The six of us. We're gonna stick together. You hear me?"

Bucky nodded, smiling down at Lila when she took his hand and told him it was okay to be sad. 

Of course, Lila being Lila, she followed it with a lecture on how important it was to tell someone if you were feeling sad or being bullied at school.

"Okay," Clint said, "let's break for an early lunch and play some monopoly after."

Lila and Cooper quickly agreed, and Clint urged Bucky and Laura to sit at the kitchen table and continue to hold onto each other while he and the kids made sandwiches.

Bucky wiped his face. "Sorry," he whispered almost silently.

"Don't you dare apologize," Laura said calmly. "It's been a very long time coming." And even when he went to pull out of her embrace, Laura held him tighter.

Bucky and Clint—they were both hers as of right now, no more dithering or waiting or being cautiously non-greedy. They were hers and they were each other's, and that's the way it was staying.


	10. Chapter 10

"Hey, sexy lady. Room for one more?"

Laura laughed and moved over to make room for Clint in the small shower stall. Really with shoulders as wide as his there was barely enough room for one in the tiny cubicle, but they'd make do. They'd had plenty of practice over the years.

But after a kiss and some playful groping that left Laura weak-kneed and wanting more, Clint quickly washed himself down and got out. "The kids will be up soon," he said as he grabbed a towel and started to dry his hair.

He left the bathroom a moment later.

She laughed softly, shook her head in exasperation, and reached for the shampoo. With two men in her bed she hadn't considered that masturbating in the shower might still be something she needed to do.

Trying to calm down enough to wash her hair without getting shampoo in her eyes, Laura tried to think of other things. 

Last night they hadn't used Bucky's trigger words. After his emotional catharsis it had seemed far more important to simply be together. They'd spent the afternoon playing games with the kids—they'd located a whole cupboard full of board games and playing cards—and then made and ate dinner together, and finally sat together in the sofa room and exchanged tall tales.

It was quite incredible to hear Bucky talk about Steve Rogers as a skinny kid and ordinary guy from Brooklyn, but it was also strangely comforting. Steve had been born into poverty and had been very ill. He'd known hard times, war times, happiness, sadness, and everything in between. He was a man who knew suffering, who understood that life was unfair, and yet he fought tirelessly for what he believed was right.

Even if half the world considered Captain America nothing more than a vigilante and a wanted criminal, Laura knew the truth. Bucky's stories of a sickly young boy standing up for others only confirmed everything that Laura believed about the guy.

"Laura?" Bucky asked as he opened the bathroom door. "Is it okay to come in?"

For just a moment her confidence faltered. She'd slept in a bed with this man for the past two weeks but he'd never actually seen her naked. She glanced down at the fading pregnancy stretchmarks across her belly and thighs, and then at her breasts, silently cursing gravity for being such a bitch, before shoving aside the slight hesitation and calling Bucky into the room.

"Clint went to check on the kids, but he said you...um...might want some company."

Laura was only slightly nervous when she opened the shower door. "Company is definitely welcome," she said, searching his eyes and noting that he was uneasy and still dressed in what he'd slept in. She offered him a small smile.

"It's okay if you're not ready," Laura said, trying to sound confident even though she didn't have a clue what she was doing. Clint was the only man she'd had sex with in the past decade and a half, so it wasn't as if she had experience coaxing shy, sexy, ex-assassins into her bed.

Bucky leaned into the shower, wrapped his hand around the back of her neck, and gently guided her closer so that he could take her lips in a delicious kiss without getting undressed or getting wet. She was panting by the time he moved away.

"We should probably have a conversation before we do anything else, though."

"Oh?" she asked, more concerned about locking her knees so she didn't slide down to the floor panting with arousal.

"Contraception?" he asked, blushing slightly. "Clint said you're 'on the pill,' but I have no idea what that means."

"I guess the contraceptive pill was after your time," Laura said, not sure if that was true or not. She couldn't even check it on the Internet. "When taken correctly oral contraceptives are pretty good at preventing pregnancy."

"Pretty good?" Bucky asked.

"Occasionally women get pregnant even though they're taking the pill, but all contraceptives have a chance of failing."

"Do you mind if we use condoms as well?" He reached into the shower again, this time caressing her hip as he leaned in to press a quick kiss to her lips. "I can't afford to get you pregnant."

"Afford?" she asked, unsure why Bucky would be mentioning money.

"I don't know everything they did to me," Bucky said, averting his gaze as if he was ashamed that had happened to him. "I don't know how much it changed me." He shook his head. "I don't want an innocent child to be how we find out."

Admittedly, Laura hadn't thought of that. Accidental pregnancy had crossed her mind—two men, lots of happy, life-affirming sex...she hoped—but she hadn't been seriously worried. She had a husband who loved her, and would happily welcome another child into their lives, even if Bucky was the father. But she hadn't considered the past seven decades of physical, mental, and chemical torture Bucky had been through. There was no telling how that would carry over in his DNA.

"I'm happy to use condoms," she said, resting her hand against the side of Bucky's face. He released a deep breath and nodded his relief. "But they don't work very well in the shower."

"That's okay," he said, suddenly grinning wickedly. "I can think of a few things we could try first."

~*~

Two hours later Bucky was still feeling lazy with satisfaction. Laura was naked and curled up beside him, her beautiful body his to admire. He'd mapped every inch of her delicate skin, kissed and licked anywhere he could reach, and grown addicted to her delicious taste.

They'd found and explored many different ways to satisfaction for both of them, but when he'd finally pushed inside her, kissing her gently as he'd started to move, his love for this woman had exploded through his mind. She'd become as essential to him as breathing.

And somehow that had strengthened what he felt for Clint even though the man wasn't even in the room.

"We should probably get up," Laura said, snuggling closer instead of rolling away.

"Probably," Bucky agreed, also not moving.

She lifted onto her elbow and gave him a warm smile. "I'm very glad you joined me in the shower."

"So am I," he said, remembering the way Clint had grabbed his hand, led him to the bathroom, and shoved him through the door. It had been the final push he'd needed to seek more from the woman he'd quickly grown to love. A part of him truly hadn't believed that any man would willingly share his wife, but Clint had proven over and over that he was far from an ordinary man.

And the woman he'd married was truly extraordinary.

The knock on the bedroom door startled both of them, but Clint's deep voice calmed them immediately.

"Don't want to rush you," he said, his laugh easily penetrating the locked door, "but somebody apparently promised cupcakes with lunch today."

Laura grinned. "You're being summoned," she said, lifting up to press a quick kiss to Bucky's lips before rolling away, "but first"—she held out a hand for him to take—"we both need a quick shower."

~*~

The moment Laura and Bucky stepped into the kitchen Clint could see the change between them. Their friendship had been growing steadily over the past few weeks, but now there was the same connection between them that Clint felt between him and Laura and him and Bucky. 

As ridiculous as it sounded, it felt like the circle was now complete.

And since life had proven over and over that peaceful downtime never lasted, Clint planned for the three of them to explore their new relationship dynamic as much as they could while they had the chance.


	11. Chapter 11

"I miss Wanda," Lila lamented as she flopped onto the sofa with the typical dramatics of a bored child. Thankfully Cooper had found a series of books that he was very much enjoying. Even now he was tucked into the corner of one of the sofas reading book three of a twelve book series. Clint had never been so relieved to find a pile of books in his whole damn life. "And I miss Sam. And I miss Uncle Steve." Lila lifted her head, rolled her eyes and flopped back down. "I even miss that ant guy and he was always really annoying."

Cooper smirked, apparently more aware of the people around him than he seemed. 

"I miss them too," Clint said, glancing at Bucky's concerned frown before turning his attention back to Lila. "But I'm sure they'll all have plenty of stories to tell when they finally get here."

Lila gasped in an excited breath and Clint hoped to hell he wasn't setting the child up for disappointment. It would be four weeks tomorrow since they'd escaped the attack at the Wakandan facility. At the very least they'd expected someone to have arrived by now.

Yes, they'd planned to split up. Yes, they were taking winding, hopefully misleading routes to get here. But someone should have been here by now.

Tomorrow was the deadline Clint had set for himself. Four weeks and he'd go looking for answers. That was what he'd planned, but a part of him—a small, selfish part—wanted to hold onto the solitude and quality family time they'd enjoyed these past four weeks. Raising children in a large extended family had been really nice while in Wakanda, but it was also amazing to have time for just the six of them.

But they needed to know what had happened to the others. 

Clint also wanted to send another message to Natasha. She hadn't responded to the two he'd sent when they'd first reached the supposed safety of Wakanda, but that didn't mean anything when dealing with the Black Widow. She'd surface when and where it suited her and nothing was going to change that.

Not even Clint worrying that she might be dead.

Guilt swelled through him then. He'd been living some of the happiest days of his life—loving and being loved by both Bucky and Laura and spending quality time with the kids—but he had no idea where his team was or what they were doing or if they needed his help.

Steve had risked everything to find and protect Bucky. Clint had no doubt Bucky would do the same.

"I know that face," Laura said quietly when she joined them on the sofa. "When are you planning to leave?"

Bucky seemed a little startled that Laura could read Clint so easily, but it was obvious he'd realized something was bugging Clint. He just didn't know Clint well enough yet to discern exactly what he'd been thinking. Hopefully they'd have many years together to learn these things about each other.

"You shouldn't go alone," Bucky said, obviously torn between knowing they had to do something to help the others and wanting to keep their family safe. 

"I was thinking the same thing," Clint said, gazing at Laura to gauge her reaction. "If I take the transport, I leave you here without a way to escape an attack, so the safest option is to take everyone." He caught sight of Lila's face and knew he was about to break her heart. "But no one but me can leave the transport."

"Awwww," Lila said, flopping back into her position on the couch. 

"Sorry, sweetpea," Bucky said, earning a reluctant grin from Lila, "but that's the only way to keep everyone safe."

"I'm assuming you have a destination in mind," Laura said, sounding relaxed even though he could see the worry in her eyes.

"I do," Clint said, and then spent the next hour or so refining his plan with Bucky's and Laura's help. 

~*~

Bucky was nervous as hell. Clint's plan was a good one, and it was the safest choice for their current circumstances. Bucky just wasn't ready to risk losing everything he had. And he wasn't thrilled with the necessity for him to be armed around the kids.

Both he and Clint had kept up with their training—cardio, flexibility, and sparring sessions—but they'd only used the range a couple of times a week. The ammunition was well stocked, but they really had no idea how long they would need to be here or when they might get a chance to refill their supplies. 

Clint had used his bow and practice arrows over and over, but Bucky had restricted himself to only a handful of bullets from various guns. Every few days he'd checked his accuracy with a few different weapons, but had mainly concentrated his efforts on quickly loading and reloading.

When it came to firing a gun the Winter Soldier side of him seemed unaffected by the lack of his metal arm so he wasn't going to waste ammunition checking his shooting skill over and over again.

But that thought brought him back to the one he'd been considering since Clint had first mentioned his plan. 

Clint and Bucky were already in bed. Laura would join them as soon as Nathaniel was settled. Now was probably Bucky's best chance to discuss this. "I want Laura to trigger me before we leave tomorrow."

"The kids—" Clint started to say, but Bucky cut him off. 

"I know they've never seen the Winter Soldier." They'd been careful to keep that part away from Cooper and Lila. The kids knew Bucky was recovering, but they'd been given nothing about the details. Yet their safety was too important to avoid the hard choice now. "If I'm triggered, Laura can order me to protect you all. And I mean 'protect' this time, not 'don't harm.'" 

Clint rolled to face Bucky. "And if we run into anyone looking for you, you think that because you'll already be triggered, any words they use will be meaningless."

Bucky nodded and really hoped that was the way it worked. Surely being triggered already would override the power the words had on him when he wasn't. But it was also about avoiding the risk that he lose his own damn mind to a PTSD episode while he was armed and supposed to be protecting his family.

He'd only had a couple incidents, and both Clint and Laura had assured him that his reactions were perfectly normal in light of his experiences, possibly even a sign that his mind was slowly integrating two separate sets of memories. 

It was probably hilarious that he was so fucked up that having crippling moments of breathless terror was actually considered an improvement, but if he had a chance to avoid them tomorrow he'd do anything he could to make that happen.

"The Soldier trusts Laura," Bucky said, "and I'm remembering more and more of his interactions each time. Please, Clint."

Clint seemed as torn as Bucky was over showing the kids the Winter Soldier and protecting them with the best, most-focused skills he had, or trying to keep him hidden and risk that Bucky's mind could be stolen from him with a few Russian words.

"Yeah, the chances of anything happening are very low, but I need the safety net."

"Safety net?" Laura asked as she stepped into the room. "Please tell me you're not teaching Bucky your old circus act." She smirked, shed her clothes, and climbed into the bed completely naked. Bucky's thoughts were almost completely derailed by the beautiful sexy woman suddenly in his arms, but his fear for her and their family lingered.

"Bucky wants you to trigger him tomorrow before we leave. That's the safety net he was talking about."

"Oh," Laura said, lifting her head to see Bucky more clearly. "I suppose the kids will just think of it as your 'mission mode.'" Clint made a curious sound as if he hadn't realized his kids even knew the words. Laura gave him a quirky grin. "Even before you put your uniform on you start mentally preparing. Kids notice that sort of thing."

"So you don't think the Soldier will scare them?"

"Not at all," Laura said, reassuringly. "They'll see their Bucky in work mode. Nothing more." She touched a warm hand to Bucky's face. "Besides the Soldier grows more like you every time"

"So you'll do it?" Bucky asked, having expected a bit more of an argument.

"It's your first mission since rescuing Clint and the others from the Raft. You can have a safety net if you need it." 

"Thanks for understanding," Bucky said, humbled again by this woman's perception. 

"Anytime," she said, wriggling until she was on top of Bucky and could go back to pressing kisses to his chest. When Clint rolled closer and started caressing them both, Bucky set aside his worries, at least for a little while.


	12. Chapter 12

Laura breathed a small sigh of relief when Cooper and Lila noticed Bucky's change in demeanor but weren't upset by it. Nathaniel had tried to waddle toward the Bucky Soldier—as Laura had come to think of the man who was not quite their Bucky, yet no longer the Winter Soldier either—but Laura had scooped Nathaniel up before he could make a fuss. She didn't want to put unnecessary pressure on Bucky right now if she could avoid it. Once they were on the transport, Nathaniel would likely sleep most of the time anyway.

They planned to land in the outskirts of a medium-sized tourist town, Clint would go the rest of the way by foot, buy the newspapers, check a TV or Internet connection if he could find one without attracting unwanted attention, and try to contact Natasha via the complicated message relay they'd set up more than a decade ago. And then they'd come back to the safe house and, armed with up-to-date knowledge, decide their next move. That was the plan. That was what they'd agreed on.

And Laura had been around long enough to know that plans changed, especially ones made without knowing all of the variables.

"Ready to go?" Clint asked as he walked into the room. He had his favorite bow in his hand and his arrows on his back and Laura knew that was mostly for Bucky's benefit. The place was a vacation destination and Clint wouldn't be able to wear combat gear without sticking out like a sore thumb, so the bow and arrows were his way of reminding Bucky that he was also ready to protect their family, that Bucky wasn't alone in this.

Laura could just make out the lines of the guns and knives Clint had hidden under his casual clothes.

Bucky Soldier nodded his approval, and then really moved into "mission mode." He let Clint take point, and Bucky watched their six as the entire family moved toward the hanger bay. Four minutes later Bucky double checked that everyone was secure in their seats and then joined Clint in the cockpit.

Laura settled back, trying hard to hide from the kids just how nervous she felt. Clint's and Bucky's changes in demeanor were a good signal to the kids that this was serious and they needed to listen and behave, but the last thing they needed was to see their mother scared.

Fortunately Laura had perfected her "everything's alright kids" smile over the years, so once they were strapped into their seats, Cooper happily pulled out his book and continued reading, Lila started coloring, and Nathaniel settled down for his nap.

And their mom breathed a soft sigh of relief.

One hurdle down.

~*~

Not for the first time Clint wished he had more intel to work with. He had quite a lot of experience moving through various places around the world, collecting information as he went, but it was much easier to hide in plain sight when the area was densely populated. 

He circled over the main part of the town, grateful for the Wakandan stealth technology that meant they wouldn't be seen or heard, before choosing a landing site a couple of miles south. 

Bucky nodded his approval, moved to the exit, did a quick visual search, and then indicated for Clint to leave.

"Take care of them," Clint said, unable to stop the words falling from his mouth.

"With my life," Bucky answered, the words far softer and more sincere than Clint had been expecting. The fond expression was also a little surprising.

Clint glanced at the rest of his family and then left before he could say or do anything that might freak the kids out. 

He'd dressed like a tourist so once he reached the town he stepped onto the main road and tried to blend in. He easily located a roadside stall selling newspapers and magazines, and headed toward it. 

The picture on the front of the local newspaper caught his attention, but it was the headline that damn near drove him to his knees.

~*~

Laura did her best to keep the kids distracted. At the very least they were looking at a two hour turnaround for Clint to reach the town without attracting attention, gather as much information as he could about their missing friends, and return to the transport without being seen.

She'd already stopped Lila twice from trying to include Bucky in their game of Snakes and Ladders. It didn't help that they needed to keep their voices low just in case anyone moving past the area heard them and stopped to investigate. The transport might have been the latest in Wakandan stealth technology, but that wouldn't help them very much if they were caught on the ground.

It had been barely an hour and twenty minutes when Bucky's demeanor changed, the Bucky Soldier somehow morphing into the Winter Soldier without moving a damn muscle. Laura had no idea how she understood that, but her heart nearly stopped beating when Bucky turned to her with worried eyes.

"Be silent."

~*~

It took every skill Clint had honed over the years to hide his reaction to the front page of every single newspaper. He wanted to gather a copy of each and race back to the transport to be with his family, but he couldn't afford to attract attention by acting strangely.

Bucky was with Laura and the kids. He would protect them.

And Clint had to hold onto that thought and complete his mission.

As casually as he could, he gathered three of the more reputable newspapers and waited for the seller to serve the man in front of him. Clint recognized the language they were speaking, but decided it was better for his cover to be just another English-speaking tourist. Thankfully, despite his sketchy, out-of-date intel, he seemed to be one of many.

He needed to find a payphone and if possible a library with computer access. Internet cafes had made life much easier when he'd been a SHIELD agent, but they'd become mostly extinct now that everyone's phone was also a computer with Internet access.

The newspaper seller greeted him using heavily accented English, so Clint smiled the relieved sort of smile tourists tend to wear when they find someone who can understand them. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a couple of notes, checked them as if he wasn't sure of the currency value, and then offered one to the vendor.

"Are you staying in town for long?" the guy asked. His body language was relaxed and he wore a wide, welcoming smile, but that didn't mean his enquiry was just idle chatter with a tourist. 

"Just passing through," Clint said, pointing a thumb over his shoulder at the camping supplies he wore on his back. 

The guy smirked. "You and every other tourist," he said as he handed over Clint's change. "Do me a favor and stop at my daughter's restaurant on your way out of town."

"Sure. Which one is it?" Clint asked, feigning interest as he desperately tried not to show his reaction to the newspaper headlines. 

~*~

The Asset moved silently, checking the various visual feeds of the outside of the transport until three men finally came into view. They were wearing non-descript, army-like clothing, but other than a couple of low-caliber rifles they weren't visually armed. That didn't preclude hidden weapons—the Soldier knew exactly how easy it was to carry a full arsenal since he was doing so right now—but the three men didn't move like soldiers either.

He watched them closely, glancing at the woman and her children to make sure they understood the need to be quiet. The woman nodded. She'd already pulled Cooper and Lila to her, and was holding them close. Nathaniel was asleep but within reach so she was right there to stop him from crying out if he woke. 

The Soldier wasn't certain why he knew the names of the children—it was not part of his mission briefing—but he set aside the thought. Their names were irrelevant. The Asset had been ordered to protect them, and protect them he would.

~*~

Everything inside Clint urged him to hurry, but this town was clearly a place where tourists came to relax. Rushing around was only going to make him memorable, and that was the last thing they needed.

He followed the signs to the library and was relieved to find computers available to rent. Clint paid his money and did the touristy thing, researching local attractions and accommodation as if he intended to stay in the area, before clicking on a link that took him to current news. He spent the next ten minutes clicking link after link, his despair deepening with each story he read. 

He'd thought he'd been prepared for whatever news he might find. 

He'd been wrong, so very, very wrong.


	13. Chapter 13

The Soldier watched the men closely via the visual feeds. They were looking for something, that much was certain, but _what_ they sought was less clear. All three were searching the ground, following something that the Soldier couldn't see on the video feed. And none of them seemed prepared for attack.

That was a good thing.

If they weren't expecting attack it was very unlikely their target was the Soldier or the family he protected.

But whatever trail they were following was bringing them ever closer to the transport vehicle and that was not a good thing.

On the ground the stealth technology was less effective. The outer hull still managed to bend the light around it, but with them being stationary and having so much detail in the woodland surrounding them, the transport created a sort of hazy, warped area of visual distortion rather than the illusion of invisibility it did while moving at high speed in the air. 

If the men got too close they would notice and being humans with little sense of self-preservation they would very likely move closer to investigate. The Soldier had not been ordered to kill, but if their hiding place was discovered he'd have no choice. Long term success of this mission was critical and that meant no witnesses.

The Soldier watched the men closely via the visual feeds and silently prayed that they wouldn't move closer.

~*~

Clint forced himself to smile as he left the library and stepped onto the street. He moved casually, trying to affect a lazy air of being on vacation until he reached the outskirts of town and could step into the woodland area. He moved faster then, not running the way he wanted, but using more speed than was probably advisable.

He slowed when he got closer to the transport, checking the area for signs that something wasn't right. He almost panicked when he heard the sound of quiet voices, but managed to fall back on his training instead of reacting on instinct.

Creeping closer, Clint was relieved to see that the men were dressed as hunters. They didn't move like soldiers or agents and they sure as hell weren't watching their backs.

They were, however, far too close to the transport for comfort and moving closer with every step. Very soon one of them was going to notice the visual distortion that hid the transport.

Clint quickly shrugged his backpack off his shoulders, rearranged the cooking pots and utensils so they'd clang together with every step, and pulled it back into place. Eager to avoid being shot by a dumbass hunter, Clint also started to whistle a tune he'd learned during his circus days as he moved closer to the men.

Ignoring the sullen cuss words spoken in a language Clint was pretending not to know, Clint gave the three men a bright smile and continued forward. He was very relieved to note that the rifles remained pointed at the ground.

"Great day for a bushwalk," Clint said, grinning like the "big, dumb tourist" they'd just labelled him. 

"Hunting," one of the men said, enunciating the word very carefully and placing a finger over his lips as if to shush Clint.

"Aww," Clint said, shaking his head as if he was against hunting. "A vegetarian diet is so much better for the wildlife." It was clear that none of the men understood his words, but they rolled their eyes as if they'd heard many anti-hunting speeches before and recognized the tone. Clint grinned, shook his pack to get the pots and utensils clanging together, making enough noise to scare off any nearby wildlife, and then waved and headed in the vague direction of the transport.

The hunters swore as they turned around and then moved in the opposite direction.

~*~

Laura held her breath when Bucky moved toward the exit and opened the door. She almost sagged with relief when Clint stepped inside, shook off his pack, and headed to the cockpit.

A half hour later they were in the air and headed back to the safe house and Clint still hadn't spoken a word. But it was the way Clint's gaze kept straying to Bucky that made Laura realize the news was definitely not good. Whatever Clint had learned, he didn't want to tell Bucky, at least not while he was triggered and in Winter Soldier mode.

And he wanted to tell Laura before he told the kids.

~*~

The flight back to the safe house was uneventful, the mission thankfully going to plan. The Soldier had not wanted to kill, so he was very glad that it had not become necessary.

He helped the woman and her children off the transport, made sure they were settled in the kitchen area, and then returned to his mission partner for debrief.

The man did not seem inclined to talk.

"Did something happen to compromise the mission?" the Soldier asked.

"No," the man said. "I'm confident that no one took any notice of me. To them I seemed like just another tourist. Camera surveillance was minimal and I made sure never to give a clear view of my face. Even the hunters will likely only remember a nondescript tourist who scared off the wildlife."

"Did you gather the information you required?"

"I did," the man said, running a hand down his face tiredly.

"Then why are you so sad?" The Soldier blinked in surprise, unsure where that question had come from. The mission was a success, the information they were sent to collect had been collected, and they'd returned everyone safely to their home. Whether his mission partner was sad or not was none of his business.

The man—no, his name was Clint and the Soldier knew him well; he was sure of it—moved closer and wrapped his arms around the Soldier's waist.

"I'm sorry, Bucky," Clint whispered. "The news isn't good, but you need to sleep before I can explain."

"Sleep?" Bucky—no, the Soldier—asked. 

"We need to reset the trigger. You just need to sleep for a little while."

"The trigger? The words the woman uses? They're a trigger?"

Clint made a soft noise that sounded a lot like regret. "It's been a long day," he said, lifting up to press a kiss to the Soldier's—no, Bucky's lips. They were Bucky's lips and he was Bucky. 

He was Bucky.

And the woman was Laura.

"Clint?"

Clint eased away, searching Bucky's eyes for a moment before smiling softly. "Yeah, Buck. It's me." He lifted up and kissed him softly. "Congratulations. I think you managed to break the programming."

"The trigger words?" he asked, trying to sort through the confusion in his mind. Something was different, of that he was certain. He just wasn't able to identify exactly what.

Clint gave him a long look. "We need to secure our weapons, spend some time with Laura and the kids, and after that we'll talk."

Bucky nodded, still confused, but willing to wait for answers.

At least for a little while.

~*~

Laura was very relieved when Nathaniel went to sleep. He'd spent most of the time in the transport sleeping on and off, so she was especially grateful that it wasn't messing with his usual bedtime routine. Chances were that he'd be up very early in the morning, but Laura was happy to deal with that when it happened.

Right now she wanted to find out what Clint knew.

She stepped into their bedroom and was happy to find Bucky and Clint wrapped in each other's embrace. They weren't asleep, but they were taking comfort from the physical contact.

"Did you get some sleep, Bucky?"

"I did," he said seriously. "It wasn't long, but I feel much clearer."

Laura nodded. Dinner had been a little bit stressful for all of them. Clint was obviously worried about sharing the rest of what he knew, and Bucky had still been triggered but also showing signs of breaking through the programming. Clint and Laura had spent the entire time hyperaware of Bucky's behavior around the kids. Neither of them believed he was capable of hurting them, but Bucky would be devastated if he did or said anything that might cause them upset. 

Thankfully dinner had gone smoothly, even if it had been a little more quiet than usual. 

And they'd all been relieved to hear that Natasha had made contact and that she not only knew where they were but was planning to join them in the next couple of weeks. The kids' questions about Steve and the others, however, had gone unanswered. 

Finally being able to step into the privacy of their room was a huge relief. Crawling between her two men to claim a much needed hug went a long way to stilling the swirl of worry in her mind and she'd even begun to relax just a little...until Clint finally showed them the newspapers he'd collected.

The reports had to be mistaken. They couldn't be true. Steve was Captain America. How could he be dead?


	14. Chapter 14

Bucky shook his head slowly. "It doesn't make any sense. Why was he even at the courthouse?"

Clint hated that the only information he had to explain this was the stuff he'd read on the Internet. The papers only covered the funeral—with full military honors, thank fuck—and not the events leading up to Steve's death. At the library Clint had wanted to print page after page of the older news, but that would have just drawn attention to him.

"Steve and a few of the others responded to an urgent call for help. It turned out to be a sting operation set up by Iron Man." (No way was he saying that fucker's real name out loud.) "I'm not sure exactly why the others were released, but Steve seems to have been prepared to take the responsibility for all of it. He was on his way into the courthouse when a woman named Sharon Carter shot him at nearly pointblank range."

"Sharon Carter?" Bucky asked, shaking his head again in denial.

"I think she was a SHIELD agent before the hellicarriers incident in DC."

"She was CIA when I met her," Bucky said, his jaw tight as he spat the words. "She's Peggy's niece." Bucky ran a hand down his face, angrily wiping away the tears that fell down his cheeks. "Steve kissed her when she helped get his shield and Sam's wings back."

"Steve was sweet on her?" Laura asked, looking as confused as Clint felt.

Bucky gave her that sad smile that always made Clint's heart clench painfully. The man had seen so much horror and deserved far better than life seemed determined to give him.

"I think Steve was trying hard to convince himself that he wasn't in love with Tony. Sharon seemed like the obvious choice."

"Steve and Tony?" Clint asked, more shocked that he should have been. He'd watched the two grow closer over the years, but he'd honestly thought it was just a tight friendship. He hadn't really given any thought to why Pepper had left Tony. He was often an annoying, overgrown, spoiled child. Of course a woman as "no nonsense" as Pepper was going to grow tired of his behavior and leave.

But in the light of new information it did explain the way she'd pretty much disappeared from their lives. Now that he looked back he realized Pepper had been pulling away from Tony for far longer than she'd been absent. Perhaps she'd realized the connection between Tony and Steve even before the two men involved.

"So the man he loved set him up and the woman he thought might help him forget shot him dead. How's that for a big 'fuck you' to a man who only ever did what was right?" Bucky's voice broke as he forced the angry words past his lips. "This world never deserved a man as good as Steve Rogers. He should have let everything go to hell instead of sacrificing himself and ditching his plane into the ice."

Laura nodded in agreement, surprising the hell out of Clint. She and Steve had been friends, and Clint had often wondered what they'd talked about in their year in Wakanda, but he'd never expected his wife to say Steve shouldn't have saved the world.

He wrapped his arms around Laura and Bucky and held on tight.

None of this made sense and he could only hope that when Natasha arrived, she could help them understand.

~*~

_Pointblank range._

The words kept swirling inside Bucky's head. Steve had told him that Sharon was as accurate with a gun as he was. Steve's preferred weapon was... _had been_...his shield, of course, but he'd been quite proficient in a number of different firearms as well.

So if Sharon had the skills to shoot Steve from a distance, why would she have walked right up to him and shot him in the heart? Had she really been that affected by his awkward kiss and clumsy flirting?

And why would she give up her career, her freedom, her entire life, to get a very public revenge on a man most still considered a hero?

"Can't sleep?" Clint asked after several hours of them all trying to do just that.

Bucky nodded. "I only met Stark a couple of times—once when I was triggered and trying to kill him and then in Russia when he learned about his parents and tried to kill me." He blinked, looking up at the ceiling but seeing only the memories in his mind. "Was he always such a dick? Did he deserve Steve's devotion at all?"

"Steve believed so," Laura said, obviously not sleeping either.

"You knew?" Clint asked, sounding shocked.

"Not in so many words," Laura admitted quietly. "The way Steve spoke about him it was obvious they were very close. I just didn't realize how close until Bucky filled in a few blanks."

"The thing I don't get," Clint said, seeming to choose his words carefully, "is why Tony started acting like his reputation. The man I knew, the man the rest of the Avengers grew to know, cared about the people around him. Turning against his friends seems like the last thing he would do." Clint rubbed his thumb over Bucky's shoulder absently, almost as if he was doing it unconsciously as a comfort for them both. "He took the blame for Ultron, but from what Bruce eventually told me, they hadn't even been close to creating artificial intelligence. Even Thor admitted that it was more likely the influence from the mind stone from the scepter that shaped Ultron's homicidal personality. Ultron may have absorbed a few things about Stark from the Internet, but it's not like he's the only person listed on there."

"But how could the Vision lift Thor's hammer then?" Laura asked.

"Thor's a warrior, not a saint. We've been assuming that the 'worthiness' is linked to our own human morality but Asgardians don't even come close to sharing our values."

Bucky nodded in agreement. He only knew the basics of the incident with Ultron, and then mostly from what he'd read in the papers than from the people who'd actually been involved, but it had always felt a little naïve to simply assume that because Vision could lift Thor's hammer that the guy was inherently good. It didn't mean he was bad either. Just that assumptions really didn't mean jack shit.

"When did Natasha say she'd be here?" Bucky asked, his memory of the red-headed woman who'd been far stronger than he expected somehow overlaid with memories from his time in Russia several decades ago. He shook the thought away. Surely it was just his Swiss-cheese memory playing games with him. The Black Widow program had been terminated decades before Natasha Romanov would have been born. Her choice of code name was just a coincidence. Nothing more.

"Nat's message said she'd be here 'in a few weeks' after she'd dealt with something."

"Any idea what that 'something' might be?" Laura asked.

"Not a clue," Clint said, sounding frustrated. "It's been over a year since I heard anything from her. She could be working for Coulson for all I know."

Bucky's head was starting to ache. "Didn't Thor's brother kill a guy named Coulson? I remember Pierce being rather smug that the 'problem' had taken care of itself."

"Same guy," Clint said, a fond smile in his voice, "but Phil didn't stay dead."

"Do I want to know?" Bucky asked.

"Probably not," Clint said. "To be honest I'm not sure exactly what Fury did to bring him back. I'm just glad that he did."

"Could they maybe do the same for Steve?" Bucky asked, hope swelling through his heart even as he tried to deny the ridiculousness of the conversation. Dead people usually stayed dead. That's the way the fucking world worked.

"I don't think so," Clint said, hugging Bucky a little more tightly. "Phil said they shut the program down because it had some pretty harsh side effects."

"Right now I don't give a shit about side effects."

"I'm right there with you," Clint said. "Coulson struggled with his sanity for a while, but he's okay now. From where we stand it feels like the cost was worth it, but Coulson yelled at Fury for a long time when he found out the truth."

"I guess it's too much to ask for Steve to get a second chance," Bucky said quietly. 

"It shouldn't be," Laura said, her voice tight, her tears now falling freely. "He spent seventy years imagining what life might be like after the war, after he gave everything he had to preserve the planet. He deserved far more than this damn world ever gave him." She reached over Clint and placed her warm hand against Bucky's face. "You both deserve the chance to live peaceful lives. You both lost so much."

Bucky closed his eyes against the tears he could no longer control. "He was awake? Under the ice, he was awake?"

Laura winced. "Awake is probably too strong a word. He was aware of time passing, of his body almost dying and regenerating over and over, but he described it as a hazy sort of memory, not quite conscious, not quite real."

"It explains how he saw through Fury's 'hospital room' façade so easily."

Smiling sadly, Laura nodded. "He didn't want anyone to know how disappointing he found the future compared to what he'd imagined. It was far easier to let people believe seventy years went by without him noticing."

Bucky swallowed hard, pressed a kiss to Clint's lips, and then climbed over the top of him. He wrapped his arm around Laura and hid his face against her neck. "Thank you," he said, his voice rough, his throat aching with grief. "I'm really glad he had you for a friend."

~*~

Laura shook as she held Bucky close, her emotions no longer hers to control, the grief and exhaustion and anger spilling out of her even as she tried to claw it back. Right at that moment she hated the whole world—the politicians who'd tried to control Steve for their own gains, the public who'd vilified and blamed him for every death without ever acknowledging the millions of lives he'd saved, and the friends who'd abandoned him when he'd only been trying to protect an innocent man.

She hated them all and she hated the world and she especially hated that in just a few hours from now she was going to have to climb out of bed, plaster on that smile that hid so much, and somehow find a way to explain Steve's assassination without destroying her kids' faith in people.


	15. Chapter 15

Bucky stilled instinctively, the noise faint but definitely out of place. He leaned over and turned off the waffle iron, the stove, and the coffee maker, effectively putting breakfast on hold.

"Clint," he said, using a tone he knew his lover would understand. Clint nodded, calmly lifted Nathaniel and Lila into his arms, signaled Laura and Cooper with a simple tilt of his head, and then led their family to the panic room.

He was back only a few moments later, his bow in his hand, arrows on his back, and Bucky's favorite P90 slung over his shoulder. 

"What have we got?" he asked casually, his relaxed tone belying the tension in the rest of his body. 

"Not sure," Bucky said, flicking through the various camera angles surrounding the house. "Something is coming toward us. I'm just not certain what."

Clint moved closer to the large computer screen, scrutinizing the small images shown for each camera. "There," he said pointing at an image. "Camera Five."

Bucky duplicated the camera feed onto the larger part of the screen just in time to see two people dressed in dark colors move out of range.

"Is that...?" Bucky asked, unable to voice out loud what he thought he'd just seen.

"Not sure," Clint answered, shaking his head. "Are they the only ones?"

"The sound I heard came from the north-east, same direction camera five watches. The others seem clear." He glanced at Clint. "Could it be Natasha?"

Clint nodded. "It's possible that she was only waiting for my reply before approaching the safe house. And it would be just like her to deliberately make a noise only loud enough for a super soldier to hear."

And being the Black Widow, Natasha would be too cautious to simply arrive on the doorstep. Bucky couldn't blame her. He wouldn't have walked up to the front door either.

But that didn't mean it was Natasha. And they'd yet to identify the person with her, so even if it was the Black Widow, she might not be the happy visitor they'd been hoping for.

And even if it was Natasha, the Natalia Bucky knew had always had an angle, had always been playing the odds to make sure she was the one who survived. The Natalia he'd trained had shown a natural disposition for subterfuge.

Bucky shook his head, cursing his confused memories. The Natalia he'd known would at least be in her seventies by now. There was no way Natalia and Natasha were the same person. Yet Bucky couldn't shake the thought. The woman he'd fought the day Zemo had triggered him had been very familiar.

Clint scratched the back of his neck, his eyes never leaving the camera feeds as they waited for their visitors to step back into range. "If I send an 'all clear' signal, I'm confirming that someone is here. If our visitors aren't Natasha and one of her friends, that could be a very, very bad thing."

Bucky nodded. "I'll go out," Bucky said, reaching for the weapon Clint had yet to hand over. "If it's Natasha, I'll signal you and you can signal her."

"And if it's not?" Clint asked, glancing around the kitchen area at the breakfast the family had yet to eat.

"Fall back to the panic room, protect our family. If I can't stop whoever is coming, then get everyone to safety."

Clint was already shaking his head before Bucky finished the sentence. "We're not leaving without you."

"You must," Bucky said. They didn't have time to argue. "We set the rendezvous coordinates weeks ago."

"But that was before—"

Bucky cut him off with a quick kiss. "Doesn't change anything," he said hurriedly. "I love you, _and_ I am still capable of taking care of myself. Protect Laura and the kids. I'll meet you in three days."

Clint finally gave him that smirk that he so loved. "Three days, or I'm tracking you down and kicking your ass."

"Good luck with that," Bucky said with a wink and a wide grin.

~*~

Laura was almost grateful for the interruption. 

Well that wasn't really true. She hated that her kids might be in danger yet again, but she trusted Clint and Bucky to keep them all safe. The very fact that they were waiting in the panic room suggested this time was just a precaution while Clint and Bucky checked something out.

But it did give her the excuse to delay the talk she'd spent half the night rehearsing. She absolutely did not want to explain to her kids that heroes could die. Losing Steve would be hard enough on them—he'd been an important part of their lives in Wakanda—but losing that innocent belief that heroes always came home was far, far worse.

Not only were they going to mourn for a man they'd adored, they were going to learn to fear every time Clint or Bucky went on a mission. They were going to learn that every time the men left they might not come home.

Yes, death was a fact of life. Laura just wished her children's need to know about it hadn't come so soon.

~*~

Clint watched Bucky slip into the bushland surrounding the house as if he was some sort of ghost. It was no wonder that for decades the Winter Soldier had been considered a myth by intelligence agencies. Clint had worked with the world's best, but Bucky was so much better at stealth than anyone else he'd ever known. 

And no, he was never saying that out loud where Natasha might hear him.

Bucky stayed in view of the cameras, clearly choosing a path that would give Clint the chance to follow, but when he disappeared it was so quick and so complete that Clint was left blinking at the video feed in surprise.

Thank fuck Bucky was on their side.

But as the seconds ticked by and there was no more movement on the cameras, Clint's anxiety started to grow.

~*~

It was almost exhilarating to be back in the field under his own control. As sickening as the thought was, he'd been a damn good soldier during the war, even before Steve had become Captain America and formed the Howling Commandos.

Bucky moved silently but quickly, taking a wide arc so that he could circle around the two visitors he knew were approaching. First he'd check they were alone and then he'd try to identify who they were and why they were here. 

He should not have been surprised to find the woman leaning against a tree, clearly waiting for him.

"Natalia?" he asked, again getting the two women mixed up in his mind. 

Her eyes widened a moment, but then she smirked as if she knew something he didn't. 

She really didn't, no matter how good she thought she was. 

Bucky didn't even need to turn around to be able to point his P90 at the man trying to sneak up on him from behind. "Not another step," he growled, not taking his eyes off the Black Widow.

The man laughed softly. "Buck, is that any way to greet an old friend?"


	16. Chapter 16

Clint heard Bucky's signal around the same time he stepped into the video feed on camera five. Natasha was beside him, grinning widely. They would have to find out how she and her friend had gotten so close to the house without tripping the security sensors, but for right now he could relax and maybe even feel a little bit happy.

Natasha was alive and that was a very good thing.

Feeling the ridiculous urge to wave despite knowing she couldn't see him, Clint sighed in relief. It was so good to see her, and he planned to hug her for a good ten minutes—okay, maybe not a full ten minutes, but definitely as long as she would let him—before lecturing her on staying in touch with the people who cared for her. Then he'd hand her over to Lila and let his daughter give Natasha the lecture she truly deserved.

For the first time since seeing the newspaper headlines yesterday, Clint felt like he could draw a full breath.

But his lungs seized again when Natasha's friend stepped into the camera's field of vision and waved sheepishly.

~*~

Laura was trying very hard to keep the kids distracted when Clint finally opened the door and stepped into the small room.

"All clear," he said quietly. "We've got a couple of visitors."

Nodding her understanding, Laura was still gathering Nathaniel and the assortment of toys they'd been playing with when she heard Lila's excited exclamation. 

"Uncle Steve!"

Spinning fast enough to make herself dizzy, Laura was grateful to find Clint right behind her, his arms around her and Nathaniel before she could lose her balance.

"Steve?" she asked almost breathlessly.

Clint took Nathaniel and nodded toward the man filling the doorway of the small room. Lila was already clinging to his leg and talking a mile a minute, and Cooper was staring at the man as if they hadn't seen him in years instead of less than a month. Thank heavens Laura hadn't had a chance to talk about Steve's supposed death to the kids. This would have been even more confusing for their young minds to take in.

But when Steve lifted his gaze to meet Laura's she couldn't stop the damn tears.

He was alive. He was here and he was alive and he wasn't dead...and damn it, she was still crying.

But this time it was from sheer relief.

~*~

Breakfast was cold and soggy and stale, so while Clint, Steve, and Natasha went to collect Laura and the kids, Bucky gathered it all up, and despite the inner voice that berated him for wasting food, threw it all in the trash and started again.

"Better make extra," Natasha said, stepping into the kitchen. "Wanda and Sam were only waiting for our signal. They'll be here in a few minutes."

"What about Scott and T'Challa?" 

"Scott went to visit his daughter. T'Challa never left Wakanda." 

Bucky nodded, still struggling to take in so much information so quickly. They'd spent the night believing Steve was dead, and now they were about to welcome almost the entire team into the safe house.

After weeks and weeks of quiet it was a little overwhelming, especially since Bucky hadn't spoken to most of them in more than a year, and then only briefly before going into the cryofreeze in Wakanda. 

The last time he'd been anywhere near Natasha had been the day they'd had to fight each other at the airport. He'd been very grateful that she'd let him and Steve board the quinjet without trying to stop them. He hadn't wanted to hurt anyone that day, but stopping five super soldiers all as dangerous as the Winter Soldier had needed to take priority.

"Thanks," Bucky said, gruffly, "for...everything." It was far too inadequate for what he was feeling, but he had no idea how much or how little this woman had helped Steve in the past several weeks. The fact that she knew their location meant that Steve trusted her. And it was obvious that Clint always had. 

But Bucky still couldn't shake the feeling that he knew this woman from a long time ago. He studied her facial features more closely, taking each piece and comparing it to his memories of Natalia.

She smirked and that made her even more familiar. "How much of your memory have you recovered, Yasha?"

Yasha? Russian for James? It felt so familiar. Hell, more familiar than "Bucky" had when he'd first heard it.

"I remember you, Natalia," he said, bluffing just a little. He still wasn't sure Natasha and Natalia were the same person, but the similarities were too numerous to ignore.

She dipped her head and gave him a calculating smile. "Enough to remember what we meant to each other?" she asked, her tone mildly curious. 

"Enough to remember only a fool would trust a Black Widow."

She laughed softly, the sound meant to disarm, a signal for him to lower his guard. Yasha knew that sound well. And Bucky sure as fuck didn't trust it.

"Does Laura know about you and Clint?"

Bucky shouldn't have been surprised by Natasha's observation skills. He'd trained her himself.

"She does," Bucky said, answering her question without elaborating. "Does Clint know how old you really are?"

She smirked instead of answering. Bucky took that as a "no," 

"Do I need to give you the shovel talk?" she asked.

Bucky was unfamiliar with what he assumed was a pop-culture reference, but the message seemed pretty clear. Although assassins rarely hung around long enough to bury a body and usually used a more effective weapon. 

"I have no intention of hurting any of the Bartons."

"Correct answer," Natasha said, her pretend demeanor of friendship suddenly morphing into something far more honest. "Will you save me from Lila's lecture?"

Bucky shook his head and laughed softly. "Hell, no. You are definitely on your own for that one." He grinned, remembering now the soft spot he'd had for this deadly woman. "Next time, I suggest you call home more often."

Natasha grinned when Lila finally let go of Steve and came over to take her hand. "I think," she said, happily, "you might be right."

~*~

"Shovel talk?" Laura asked the moment she was close enough to keep their conversation private.

"Yup," Bucky replied, seeming to hesitate before hugging her, perhaps because they had an audience. 

It was very possible that he wanted a chance to explain their change in relationship status to Steve first, but Laura saw no need to hide. Steve would be happy that Bucky had someone—well, two someones—in his life who loved him dearly, and Steve certainly wouldn't judge him for having an unusual relationship. Bucky didn't pull away when she stepped in and hugged him close.

"You've been crying," he said, caressing the back of her neck as she rested the side of her face against his shoulder.

"Good tears," she assured him. "It's going to be a while before the kids let them out of their sight. I doubt we're going to get a chance to find out the real story before the kids' bedtime."

Bucky smiled and shrugged. "They're here. That's the most important part. The details can wait."

"Yeah," Laura said, lifting up to kiss him softly, "maybe we can even find time to have a nap."

"Such a smart woman," Bucky said, pressing a kiss to her head before moving back to the waffle maker to rescue breakfast. "In fact I doubt the kids will miss the three of us at all."

Laura looked over just in time to see a wide grin spread across Steve's face. Super soldier hearing definitely made explanations easier. The moment breakfast was done Laura was taking both her men back to bed. After last night's sleeplessness there was liable to be more sleeping that any of them actually wanted, but they had a houseful of babysitters and definitely deserved a chance to be together.

Not having to worry about the kids, or security, or someone attacking while their guard was down would certainly add something special to their time together, even if all they really did was just sleep in each other's arms


	17. Chapter 17

Now that she was seeing it, Laura realized that she'd never before seen Bucky completely relaxed. She suspected that had a lot to do with Steve's presence. Not only were they best friends since childhood, Bucky had once mentioned that Steve was the only man strong enough to maybe stop the Winter Soldier.

Steve's presence certainly seemed to give Bucky peace of mind.

Laura took a moment to admire the relaxed smiles on her lovers' faces as they talked to Sam, Natasha, and Wanda across the room, and then she sat down next to Steve on the sofa. While leaning in to give him a quick hug, she decided to get the confession out of the way first. "I told them about the ice."

Steve seemed a little bit surprised—he'd trusted her to keep his secret—but then he must have realized the circumstances under which she'd spilled the information and he nodded slowly. "I'm sorry we couldn't warn you. The whole world had to believe that I'm dead or none of it was ever going to work."

"Does Tony think you're dead?"

Steve smiled then, a genuine smile, not the sad one he'd worn whenever they'd talked about Tony Stark before. "He's the reason I'm still alive."

Laura probably looked as startled as she felt. 

"There's a lot more going on than any of us realized. We've always known Senator Ross isn't the good guy he pretends to be." Laura nodded. Since joining the team in Wakanda she'd learned a lot about the General-turned-Senator who'd mercilessly hunted Bruce Banner in an attempt to gain personal control over the Hulk. "It took a while to link him to Zemo, but once we realized the video of the Winter Soldier killing Tony's parents was fake, it didn't take much to track down the creator." 

"So the Soldier didn't kill Tony's parents?"

Steve's sad smile said it all. "We're pretty sure he did, but the Winter Soldier was never careless enough to leave behind video evidence of a mission that included the order of 'no witnesses.'" Steve reached over and lifted Laura's hand into his. "It was never Bucky. No matter what the Winter Soldier did, he was never our Bucky."

"I know," Laura said, smiling as Clint and Bucky both laughed at something Sam said. "We've been working to break the programming. The first couple of times were rather disturbing."

"You've been using the trigger words?" he asked, glancing at Bucky and giving him a worried look. "Before or after—"

He cut off the question, perhaps realizing how insulting it was. Other than the first night when she'd given Bucky permission to use Clint as a teddy bear, everything between them had developed naturally. And they'd never shared any intimacies while Bucky was under the control of the trigger words, not even last night when it seemed that he'd managed to break through the programming.

Clearly, Bucky had heard Steve's startled half question because he reached for Clint's hand, dragged him away from the others, and marched straight to where Laura and Steve were sitting.

Steve held up his hands in a sign of surrender, an entire conversation passing between the two super soldiers in just a few expressions. Bucky let out a soft laugh. "You always were a punk."

Steve nodded in agreement. "I nearly died. That's gotta give me a pass or two."

"One," Bucky said, taking a seat on the sofa opposite theirs and pulling Clint down with him. "And you just used it."

"So Sharon Carter really did shoot you?" Clint asked.

Steve nodded. "She's being controlled by a faction of Hydra that we'd thought we'd wiped out. We think they're working with Ross." He rubbed his thumb over Laura's hand, his movement agitated as if he was trying to explain the unexplainable. "Tony's spent the past year and a half walking a fine line, trying to keep everyone safe while attempting to trap Ross in his own lies."

"Doesn't explain why he attacked you when he found out about his folks," Bucky said in a low growly voice. Tony had tried to kill Bucky, but it was apparently the attack on Steve that angered him the most.

"No it doesn't explain it," Steve said. "Not entirely, but Tony knew Ross and Zemo wanted to destroy the Avengers from within, so he gave them the show they wanted."

"He blew my arm off _and_ kicked me in the head with a metal boot," Bucky said, filling in a few details Laura hadn't been told before. "It didn't feel like putting on a show. It felt like fighting for my life."

"Buck—" Steve began, but Bucky cut him off.

"You were fighting for my life too," Bucky said. "Don't deny it, Steve. I saw Stark's reaction. He thought you were going to take his head off with the shield. There's no way that was a pretend fight for an audience."

"Buck, it's not that simple."

"And he guilted you into leaving the shield behind. You, me, and maybe Natalia are the only three people alive capable of even using it in battle."

"Natalia?" Steve asked.

"Long story," Natasha said, joining the conversation and waving away the comment.

"Bucky, I trust him."

Bucky growled low in his throat, clearly pissed at what seemed to be Steve ignoring some pretty basic facts.

"Steve," Clint asked quietly, "when did Tony explain what was happening?"

"After we were arrested a few weeks ago," Steve said, indicating Wanda and Sam.

"After he set you up?" Bucky asked incredulously. "He knew how to contact you. He didn't need to get you arrested just to talk to you." Bucky stood up and started pacing the room, more agitated than Laura had ever seen him. "And he didn't have to humiliate you in front of the whole world." 

Laura couldn't help but agree. Last night Clint had told her and Bucky about the newspaper reports of how Iron Man had outwitted Captain America. The writers had gleefully described every detail of a sting operation that hadn't been necessary.

Steve would have answered Tony's call for help. If he'd only wanted to talk there were a million other ways to get Steve's attention, and none of them involved destroying the reputation of a man who'd never done anything but protect people.

"Buck, he saved my life. He told me about Sharon and how she'd been brainwashed into killing me. If I hadn't been ready for her bullet, I would never have moved enough to have gotten my heart out of the way in time."

"Your stupid heart is why you're in this mess in the first place, Steve," Bucky yelled. He winced, glancing down the hallway when he realized he'd spoken probably loudly enough to wake the kids. He shook his head, rubbed his fingers over his eyes, and then gave his friend a sad look. "Steve, you're being played."

But just like Tony's behavior, Steve's wasn't adding up either. Steve was a genius when it came to tactics, and the serum hadn't just enhanced his body, it had blessed him with an eidetic memory and a razor-sharp mind.

He wasn't naïve by anyone's definition.

"Steve," Laura asked, willing to trust her friend's judgement, "what aren't you telling us?"

Steve laughed softly, glanced around the room at his team as if he'd expected at least one of them to notice the same thing Laura had. He tapped the side of his nose and winked. "I have a man on the inside," he whispered. "A very tiny little man."

~*~

"So what?" Bucky asked. "Still doesn't explain why Tony shot Sam when he tried to help Rhodey, or why he developed a collar that would neutralize Wanda's abilities."

Clint saw Wanda flinch at the reminder. Anytime he closed his eyes he could still see how young and how broken she'd looked when they'd thrown her into the cell on the Raft. She'd been blamed for the deaths of a few without anyone ever thanking her for saving the many. It would have been far easier for her to throw her shield around herself and Steve and let the rest of the marketplace be blown to hell.

But not a single person, blogger, or reporter had bothered to ask how many might have died if Wanda hadn't been there. None of them had mentioned that without Crossbones there wouldn't even have been a bomb or a threat or a need for Wanda to try and stop it. And nobody apparently gave a shit that they'd stopped a known criminal from stealing a biological weapon with the potential to kill millions.

No, it was far easier to attack a young woman who'd only been there to help.

It was a goddamn miracle that she hadn't since chosen to fully embrace her powers and do whatever the hell she wanted. After the way she'd been treated, Clint wouldn't even blame her if she did.

Wanda smiled, crossed the room, and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "And that's exactly why I don't," she said. 

He knew she was capable of reading people's minds, but he wasn't quite sure of the logic she was using. He didn't have to ask for her to explain.

"Most think the way you do, Clint Barton." She smiled as Sam and Natasha came over to join them on the sofas. "In their hearts and in their minds the people we protect know that we are doing good. The news is full of the loudest voices, but they do not represent the majority."

"I suppose I really do understand that," Clint said. He'd never done his job expecting rewards. He'd just done what needed to be done to keep people safe. And he may have been attacked publicly by newspapers and bloggers and others with a loud "voice," but he'd been thanked privately many more times by people who'd seen firsthand what the Avengers and SHIELD needed to do to keep the world safe. 

"I don't suppose you can explain what Tony Stark is thinking," Bucky said, his voice still thick with anger. Clint leaned closer, offering comfort as best he could right then.

Wanda glanced at Steve, who nodded in response to her silent question. "Actually I can explain what Stark is thinking. But the thoughts in his head do not match those in his heart."

"Can we drop the clairvoyant shit and get to the point?" Bucky asked irritably. Clint knew it was worry that was making his lover short tempered, so he was especially grateful when Laura moved to their sofa and wrapped her arms around Bucky's waist. He took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and then gave Wanda an apologetic dip of his head. She smiled in response, obviously using her skills to understand the situation. 

"The point," Steve said, casting a mild glare at Bucky for his rude behavior, "is that we know Tony isn't thinking clearly and we're pretty sure it's the result of something Ross has been doing to him."

"It's not as obvious as it is with Bucky," Sam explained, "but there is definitely something triggering Tony's worst possible reactions."

"Sounds like a convoluted way of making excuses for the man," Laura said, not quite hiding the anger she still felt toward Tony for the loss of their home. Clint knew she was happier having her family together, but it would have been far nicer to have had the choice to move instead of having to abandon their peaceful farm life in the middle of the night.

"Perhaps I am grasping at straws," Steve conceded, "but a lot of Tony's behavior and decisions the past year and a half have been slightly out of character for the man we know."

Sam nodded. "The control they have over Sharon is more obvious. After shooting Steve she was horrified to realize what she'd done." He gave Bucky a sad smile. "Kind of like that day Zemo triggered you. Sharon was confused and disorientated, but she knew who she was and eventually remembered what she'd done."

"Does she know Steve's alive?"

Sam shook his head sadly. "Until we can figure out how they trigger her, it's safer if she doesn't."

Clint leaned over and wiped the tears off his wife's cheek. She'd never even met Sharon Carter, but Laura no doubt grieved for a woman who thought she'd killed a man while under someone else's control. Bucky ducked his head, clearly empathizing with Sharon and with Laura. Clint was truly grateful that they could offer each other the emotional understanding that he sometimes lacked.

"So does Tony think you're dead or not?" Clint asked

"Tony knows I'm alive. He helped to get me out of the country."

"So does he know where you are now?" Bucky asked, both his suspicion of Tony's motives and his own fear for their family leaking into his voice.

Steve shook his head. "No, Buck. I promise you, he doesn't know. He thinks we all headed back to Wakanda. He thinks Scott left too."

"Are you sure? Are you willing to risk the kids' lives on that?" Bucky demanded. "You left Ant-man behind to spy on him. How do you know he didn't plant a tracker on you?" 

"No technology," Sam said. "No Starktech. No wings." He was obviously very sad about that. Clint could empathize. He'd had to leave behind all of his sweet arrows and custom-made Starktech bow when they'd escaped the Raft. "We didn't bring any of it with us. Even if he did try to plant trackers they'll only lead him to Wakanda, which is where he thinks we are anyway."

"Bucky," Wanda said, clearly understanding the emotions driving Bucky's behavior right now, "I assure you that Tony cares for Steve a great deal."

"But you think he's been brainwashed the way Bucky was," Laura said.

"It's a far more subtle programming," Steve said, looking frustrated. "It doesn't take him over the way your trigger words do, Bucky." He rubbed the back of his neck and blew out a tired-sounding breath. "We think his triggers are visual rather than verbal. He's always on his phone or using a tablet so it could be coming from anywhere."

"And the decisions he's been making aren't entirely un-Tony-like," Sam added. "Shooting me, attacking Bucky, mentioning Clint's secret family where Ross could hear it—they're all things Tony might have done or said before he became Iron Man."

Steve nodded. "But since becoming Iron Man, Tony has been more careful, more aware of the people around him. He doesn't even drink anymore. The Tony Stark we know is the guy who carried a nuke into space, who took the blame for Ultron because he'd tried and failed to create a suit of armor around the world, and he's the guy who tried to protect us all from Ross and the Accords he created."

Steve turned his attention directly to Bucky and gave him a watery smile.

"I promise you that Tony is a good guy. Once we can figure out how he's being triggered, maybe you can help us break the programming."

Bucky finally nodded and then shook his head in fond exasperation. "Somehow, punk, I always end up following you into the fight."

"Thanks, jerk," Steve said, his voice thick with emotion. 

"Okay, so now that we're all caught up," Sam said, obviously trying to lighten the mood in the room, "maybe we can discuss how our favorite one-armed, ex-Hydra assassin managed to worm his way into the hearts of every single Barton in the house."

Bucky laughed, hugged Laura harder, and leaned over to kiss Clint softly.

"Clearly," Steve said, turning to Sam, "the history books forgot to mention the strongest talents of one James Buchanan Barnes."


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****content warning** If you are susceptible to certain themes, please check the notes at the end of this chapter before reading.**

"Morning," Clint mumbled as he rolled over and pretty much flopped onto Bucky's chest. He started snoring again a moment later.

Laura laughed softly as she climbed out of bed. "Nathaniel will be up soon, so I'll go get him before he wakes the rest of the house."

Bucky reached for her hand before she could escape. "The last couple days have been insane. Are you okay?"

She gave him a warm smile and for a moment he thought she was going to lie and tell him everything was fine. Instead she sighed heavily, sat back on the edge of the bed, and threaded her fingers through his. "I'm glad everyone is okay, but I could have done without the twenty-four hours of believing Steve was dead." She leaned in and kissed Bucky's cheek. "It's good to have them all here and safe, but just like you I'm worried for Steve. I know he won't let his emotions mess with his judgement, but...." 

Bucky snorted because he didn't really believe that for a moment. Steve's emotions were the reason Bucky had needed to pull him out of endless fist fights before the war. And they were the reason Steve had let a German scientist do a very risky experiment on him.

"Okay," Laura said, apparently interpreting Bucky's reaction correctly, "Steve won't let his emotions put his friends at risk. He's not so particular about his own safety."

"That is a far more accurate assessment," Bucky said, smiling at the woman who'd captured his heart like no other. 

She moved restlessly before settling again on the mattress and giving him a sad smile. "I've spent more than a year being very angry at Tony. I'm having trouble reconciling that with the idea that he'd been brainwashed when he told Ross we existed."

"I know what you mean," Bucky said. "I can understand the guy being upset after watching a video of his parents being murdered—even if it wasn't actual footage—but I can still see in my head the way he attacked Steve." He ground his teeth together, his jaw muscles flexing as he sought the right words. "It was...annoyance, as if killing an innocent man to get to the guy he actually wanted to kill was just an irritation to him. There was no hesitation, no backing down, no consideration for Steve at all. He was in Stark's way, so Stark was simply going to go through him. No pity, no regret."

"I only met Tony a few times," Laura said, "and he was an arrogant, fast-talking pain in the ass, but he also cared about the people around him. He seemed like the kind of guy who'd sacrifice himself for his friends, not the other way around."

"Maybe it's not Tony you're angry with," Bucky offered.

Laura gave that idea some serious thought and had to agree. "You're probably right. I hate the idea that we trusted the wrong man with our secret, but if he's being controlled somehow…"

"Yeah," Bucky said, smiling sadly, "if he's being controlled the way Hydra was controlling me, then we need to help him."

Laura nodded, but couldn't deny the anxiety swelling in the pit of her stomach. "You've only broken through the trigger words once. We can hardly claim success yet."

"True," Bucky said easily, "which is why we need to keep practicing."

She nodded. "Tonight?"

"How about now?" Bucky asked, grinning when Clint cracked one eyelid open to sleepily watch them both. 

"I'll keep an eye on him," Clint mumbled, clearly understanding Laura's hesitance. The kids would be awake any moment and if Bucky couldn't quite break the programming they would be confused by his "mission mode" attitude and appearance.

"Okay," Laura conceded, hoping her anxiety was just left over from a couple of stressful days. This time there was no doubt or fear on Bucky's face when she started to slowly recite the trigger words. 

~*~

Clint grinned, fully awake now that Bucky was under the influence of the trigger words, although, this time the change had been barely noticeable. It was clear that Bucky was regaining more of himself every time they did this, but the compulsion to follow orders was still there.

On the way out the door Laura had "ordered" Bucky to stay in bed for five more minutes, then have a shower, and join her and the kids in the kitchen afterward. Clint felt Bucky's muscles spasm at the five minute mark, his need to follow orders manifesting into involuntary physical movement. 

He held on for another two minutes, gripping Clint like a lifeline as he fought against seventy years of conditioning. 

"Shit," Bucky said as he jackknifed into a sitting position. He rubbed his hand over his stomach. "Fear of punishment is a damn strong motivator."

He shuddered violently as he climbed to his feet.

"Baby steps," Clint whispered as he wrapped an arm around his lover and moved with him toward the bathroom. 

~*~

"Somehow this was far easier the other day," Bucky muttered as Clint guided him into the shower and followed him in. The shaking settled under the hot water, but the anxiety of staying in bed a couple of minutes longer than his "handler" had ordered stayed with him.

The urge to hurry into the kitchen, fall at Laura's feet, and beg for punishment and forgiveness was damn humiliating. Fuck, no wonder he'd believed the programming. The alternative was terrifying.

But he held his ground, reminding himself over and over that this was necessary, that he needed to do this to break the control Hydra still had over him. 

"Maybe you should sleep and reset," Clint suggested, obviously worried by the way Bucky was acting. "I think maybe the grief of thinking we'd lost Steve overrode a lot of this the other night."

That made sense. Grief was a very powerful emotion and could sweep away just about everything else, but even without the distraction, Bucky needed to do this. "We should go to the gym. Do some sparring."

Clint gave him a wry grin. "I suppose we can shower again afterward."

"Ugh...yeah, sorry."

"Don't apologize," Clint said, giving Bucky his sexiest grin. "Once you've burned through some of that energy, I have a few ideas on how to distract you in the shower afterward."

Bucky forced a smile onto his face, even though he honestly wasn't feeling it.

Damn.

~*~

Laura could see Clint and Bucky on the surveillance feed from the gym. Some days when the two men sparred it was almost like a beautifully choreographed dance and she felt mesmerized just watching it.

Today was not one of those days.

Having only one arm hadn't made Bucky any less dangerous and, despite Clint's extensive training and abilities, some days Laura flinched at every punch either man threw. But it was when Bucky suddenly collapsed into Clint's arms that Laura truly started to worry. 

"Steve," she called, the single word more of an order than anything else that had come out of her mouth the past few days. Thankfully, Steve recognized her tone, made sure Sam and Natasha knew to stay with the kids with a single look, and then followed Laura from the kitchen. "They're in the gym."

He nodded, then turned and ran for the stairs. Laura followed as fast as she could, grateful when Wanda joined her.

~*~

"Bucky," Clint called breathlessly, fear choking his voice as the man he loved remained conscious but unresponsive, his breathing shallow and his body lax. Clint tapped his face, trying to shock him into awareness, but he didn't react.

"What happened?" Steve asked, suddenly beside Clint.

"Don't know," Clint said, lowering Bucky to the ground, placing him on his side, and arranging his limbs into the "recovery position." He didn't move away or stop touching the man, but his mind was going a million miles a minute. They were hours away from any doctor, and while Clint was adept at treating most wounds, he had no idea how to deal with this. He was still fighting not to panic when Bucky again jackknifed into a sitting position.

"Buck?" Steve asked, as shocked as Clint by the sudden movement.

"The asset is malfunctioning," Bucky said in an almost monotone voice. He climbed to his feet, still unsteady and shaking badly, but able to push past Clint easily. He became more distressed when Steve tried to stop him.

"Let him go," Wanda ordered. "Steve, you're making it worse."

"Making what worse?" Steve asked urgently.

"I'm not sure," she said wincing as if she was in pain. "His mind is confused, but full of need, focused on a single goal." She closed her eyes and rubbed her head as Bucky headed for the exit.

But when he got there he turned toward the armory instead of going back to the living areas of the large house. Being armed in this situation might make Bucky feel more in control, but it was definitely not a good idea. Panicked now, Clint tried desperately to slow his lover down. It was rather humbling at how little that actually worked. Bucky tore off the lock to the gun closet, grabbed the nearest handgun, and fumbled a loaded clip into place.

"Soldier, stand down!"

Laura's words were desperate but firm, loud but not hysterical, yet Bucky shook violently as he turned to face the woman who held the control of his trigger words.

"Sorry," he said, his voice wavering with emotion, his eyes pleading for help as he lifted the gun to his own head and pulled the trigger.

~*~

Steve moved fast, but was only fast enough to wrench the gun's muzzle away from Bucky's temple. Clint went low, taking him off his feet and tangling the three of them in an awkward pile. Thankfully Wanda managed to wrap her magic around the weapon, dulling the noise and stopping the bullet before it could fully leave the gun and hit anyone else.

And then she carefully and very gently used her magic to loosen Bucky's grip and remove the gun from his hand. Bucky sobbed, scrabbling to get away from Steve and Clint, desperately trying to get to the weapon's locker so that he could try again.

He begged and pleaded and used every ounce of strength fighting against both of them until Natasha entered the room and injected him with enough sedative to knock out a super soldier.

"What the hell was that?" Steve asked when Bucky was finally unconscious and held tight in Clint's embrace.

"That," Natasha said, swallowing hard, "was a suicide trigger."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter 18 includes strong references to the aftermath of brainwashing and includes a brief scene of (preprogrammed and triggered) attempted suicide.**


	19. Chapter 19

"Please don't go."

Cooper's quiet entreaty cut deeper than the rest of the Bartons' reactions combined. 

Laura had cried for a few moments but had quickly reined in her own emotions in what Bucky knew was her attempt to respect his wishes. Clint had remained stoic, hiding his reaction behind smart-ass jokes and jovial banter, Nathaniel was too young to understand, and Lila had just assumed that Bucky would come back when his mission was finished.

But Cooper knew there was more to it than he was being told.

"Captain America needs me," Bucky said, trying to smile. It wasn't entirely a lie. Now that all charges against them had been dropped—including full exoneration for Bucky for the things he'd done as the Winter Soldier—they were heading back to the Avengers facility in an attempt to liberate Tony Stark and Sharon Carter from the mind control they were under.

"Captain America," Cooper said, glaring at Steve for a moment before turning back to look at Bucky, "is dead. The papers said so."

Bucky should not have been surprised that Cooper had gotten a look at the newspapers Clint had bought a few days ago. Hell, had it really only been three days?

"Yeah, that's what the world thinks," Bucky said, not bothering to deny it, "but we have friends who need our help."

Cooper nodded but didn't turn away fast enough to hide the tears in his eyes. "What about your family? We need you too," Cooper whispered, scrubbing angrily at the tears that he couldn't stop from falling. Bucky was very close to joining him.

"Coop," Bucky said, trying to breathe through the agony in his gut. He didn't want to leave—he'd been happier here than he'd been anywhere else in his life—but he was very grateful that the kids hadn't witnessed what had happened in the armory. The suicide trigger had been completely unexpected by everyone (except maybe Natasha) but now that he knew it existed he would never risk it happening in front of the kids.

He regretted that Clint and Laura had witnessed the truest evil of the men who'd programmed him to be their weapon, but Bucky was at least grateful for the outcome. He might not be able to fully break the conditioning, but at least he was the only person who would die if some Hydra asshole used the trigger words.

It wasn't ideal, but a least Bucky knew he could resist the words long enough not to hurt anyone else.

He was still trying to find the words when Clint came over and placed a warm hand on the back of his neck. He wanted to melt into the comforting sensation, but he couldn't allow himself to be so selfish.

He loved all of the Bartons enough to walk away.

"Cooper," Clint said, his voice not quite as casual as he was obviously trying to make it, "no matter where Bucky goes or what missions he'll do with Cap, he'll always be a part of our family, and he will always love us."

The kid glanced over to where his sister was talking to Natasha and lowered his voice. "But he's not coming back." 

Despite the ache, Bucky smiled. Not only was Cooper smart enough to have figured things out, he was aware enough of his younger siblings to be careful not to let them know. He was going to grow into an amazing young man one day and Bucky hated that he was going to miss it.

"But he'll keep in touch," Clint said, already changing the things they'd agreed on last night in bed. It was supposed to be a clean break. Bucky hadn't even been a part of the kids' lives for full month. Walking away should not have been this hard.

Yet the chance to stay in touch, to talk to his family whenever he wanted was too much of a temptation not to take. "Your dad will always know how to contact me, Coop, so you can call me anytime you want."

"Okay," Cooper said, wrapping his arms around Bucky for a brief hug, "but I'm still going to miss you."

"I'm gonna miss you too, kid," Bucky whispered.

~*~

"Doing okay?" Steve asked for about the millionth time since they'd left the safe house three days ago. 

"I'm fine," he mumbled, not really feeling it, but knowing it wasn't entirely a lie. The Bartons had made it back to Wakanda without incident, and an old friend was helping to set things up so that they could come back to the States and enjoy a similar sort of lifestyle that they'd had before Tony had blabbed about their existence. 

Because they'd had to fake Laura and the kids' deaths before leaving, they wouldn't actually be the "Barton" family anymore, but a change in last name was a small price to pay for being able to go back to the life they'd chosen before their world had gone to hell.

Steve was still watching him, a worried expression on his face. 

"Said I'm fine, punk."

"I know," Steve said. "Same sorta 'fine' I feel whenever I think of Tony."

Bucky closed his eyes and nodded. If anyone understood what he was feeling, it was the man beside him. They sat side by side for a long time, each of them lost in thought, and comfortable enough with each other not to have to fill the silence with words.

"I've been giving some thought to the 'Captain America' problem," Steve finally said a half hour or so later.

"The 'Captain America problem'?" Bucky asked, laughing softly. "Like the whole thing where you're dead 'n all?"

"Steve Rogers is dead. That don't mean Captain America needs to be."

Bucky couldn't help but smile at the Brooklyn accent he could hear in his best friend's words. Old habits slipped back in when it was just the two of them.

"So you want...what exactly? Someone else to be Captain America?"

"That's what I'm thinkin'," Steve said with a wry grin.

"Not too many people able to use your shield the way you do."

"True," Steve said, grinning broadly.

"I s'pose Sam might wanna learn," Bucky said, already knowing that Natasha would turn Steve down. 

"Sam would make a great Captain America, but I was thinkin' of someone else."

"Oh?" When the only answer Bucky got was another patented Steve Roger's grin the penny finally dropped. "Oh, hell no. I am _so_ not the guy."

"Imagine how proud Cooper and Lila and Nathaniel would be."

"You leave my kids out of this," Bucky said, inadvertently letting slip the fantasy he had in his mind. They were Clint and Laura's kids, but they were the closest to having offspring of his own Bucky was ever going to get. He loved them and he really did want them to be proud of him.

"I'm sorry you couldn't stay with them."

"Me too," Bucky said. They were his family and protecting them was far more important than seeing them every day. It sucked, but when had life ever been fair? And Steve was offering him a chance to not only protect them by staying away, but to protect the world from the kind of people who'd tortured Bucky for more than seventy years. It wasn't a completely terrible idea. "So, Captain America, huh?"


	20. Chapter 20

"Oh," Tony said, glancing up from the tablet he'd been reading while walking, "sorry. I didn't realize you were in here. I'll just…"

He was already backing away before Bucky really registered why. Yes, Tony had tried to kill him, but since returning to the Avengers compound Tony had apologized for his behavior without making excuses, and they'd pretty much stayed out of each other's way ever since.

And if they were going to fight together as Avengers they needed to be able to communicate.

Of course, Bucky might not have been so forgiving if Steve hadn't told him about their suspicions that Tony was being brainwashed in a very subtle way. 

"It's okay, Tony," Bucky said, moving further away from the coffee machine since that was most likely where Tony had been headed. "We're going to cross paths now and then, and we need to be able to work together."

Tony nodded, glanced away, and then hurried toward the coffee pot. It was actually a little bit disconcerting to see such a confident and successful man looking so unsure of himself.

"I...um..." Tony said, finally turning around to lean against the kitchen counter, trying to project a calm it was obvious he did not feel. "I have a project I've been working on..." He glanced down at his tablet as if it held the words he wanted to say. Fuck, Bucky really hoped he wasn't being brainwashed right now. "The arm"—Tony waved a hand in the general direction of Bucky's metal stump—"was damaged beyond repair." 

Bucky figured as much. He'd left it behind after the fight in Siberia partly because it had been severely damaged and partly because it reminded him of the people who'd tortured him for most of his life. It hadn't been until a long while afterward that he'd even given thought to the idea of what Tony might do with the sort of tech that had been left behind. The arm had been the least of his concerns.

"What have you been working on, Tony?" Steve asked in an encouraging tone of voice.

"I...um... It still needs some work...but it's lighter and more functional and if I can just... Well, I need to run some scans and make adjustments and make sure that I understand what connects where...then we'll be good to go."

"Good to go at what, Tony?" Steve asked, smiling as if he found Tony's confusing explanation adorable. Hell, he was so hung up on the guy, he probably did.

"Oh," Tony said, making an expression that suggested he was replaying the last few minutes of conversation in his head. "I rebuilt...Well, no that's not right. I built a new one based on the specs..." He rolled his hand in the air as if he couldn't quite find the words he needed. "Well _...vaguely_ based on the specs of the old one. Mine is a huge improvement on that piece of tra...Well, no it wasn't trash, not really. It was probably very well advanced for its day, but...well...I could do better and I figured, you know, only the best for the Avengers."

He seemed as if he was going to babble for another five minutes so Bucky tried to cut to the heart of the conversation. "You built me a new arm?"

Tony grinned, bouncing on the balls of his feet like a young child waiting for approval. He nodded. "I built you a new arm."

"But why?" Bucky asked, bewildered.

Tony looked hurt by the question, but he covered it quickly with a manic rush of words. "Because I can, because it needed doing, because as good as you are with one arm, Frosty, you can fight better with two."

Bucky was kind of lost for words.

"Thanks, Tony," Steve said for him. "We'll drop by the workshop later so you can do some scans."

Tony nodded, cleared his throat in what seemed to be embarrassment, and then left without saying anything else. 

Silently Steve moved toward the doorway, checked that Tony was no longer within hearing distance, and whispered, "FRIDAY, report?"

"Mr. Stark is not currently being influenced by Senator Ross or any of the other enemies working against him." The AI's accent was rather thick with concern for the man who'd created her...it.... "Shall I advise the Vision that you are in need of his assistance?"

"Thanks, FRIDAY," Steve said to the disembodied voice. "Tell Vision we'll meet him in the main training area in a few minutes."

Confused by what seemed to be the cooperation against Tony of two of his own creations, Bucky nevertheless followed Steve's lead.

~*~

"Dad," Cooper called excitedly, "Bucky's on TV."

Fear slammed into Clint's gut before he could check his response, but he managed to hide the physical reaction as he hurried over to where Cooper was watching the screen.

He blinked twice before he realized what he was seeing—Captain America with a metal arm. The Wakandan reporter was talking too quickly for him to take in all of the words, but the gist of it seemed to be speculation on the identity of the new hero who had taken up the mantle of Captain America.

Clint hated that his lover and the rest of the Avengers were fighting without him being there to protect their backs, but he was relieved to see Bucky had found a place on the team. Undoubtedly Steve was on comms, helping to coordinate their defense against a handful of Doombots. 

The Accords were still a problem, but signed or not, they didn't stop the authorities from calling the Avengers in for help when they needed it. There hadn't been another Crossbones-type incident so the spotlight of public opinion had turned to other things, at least for the moment.

Clint had no doubt it would swing back soon enough, but Wanda's soft words had truly stuck with him. The world really was full of decent people and the proof was more obvious than most realized. For a planet of seven billion people with wildly varying views on every subject imaginable, it was the rarity of deadly incidents that proved Wanda's point.

The very tiny number of people in this world who preached hatred and violence were mostly ignored by the rest who were just trying to live satisfying and peaceful lives.

Cooper was grinning, clearly proud of Bucky despite how much he missed the man. "You know how you said we have to change our names when we get back to the States?"

Clint nodded, grinning when he realized what his son was about to ask. 

~*~

There was an awful lot of downtime between super hero gigs. Yes, Bucky knew he should be grateful for that but it gave him way too much time to think and brood and to miss his family. If it wasn't for the damn suicide trigger he'd be spending his abundant downtime enjoying being with them at home.

It was also damn frustrating that their investigation into who or what was controlling Tony was taking so long. 

Even with Ant-man, the Vision. Wanda, and FRIDAY all actively and very subtly investigating they weren't any closer than they were a month ago.

At least Tony hadn't tried to kill Bucky again. That had to at least be a plus.

He was still staring into the fake flames of the strange pretend fireplace, and wondering if life really had been as simple before the war as he remembered, when Rhodey entered the room. He was still heavily reliant on his crutches for balance, but the leg braces Tony had made for him at least gave him the ability to walk despite his severe injuries.

Rhodey quietly cursed when he knocked over something in the kitchen, but Bucky didn't move to help him. He knew from both his early years with Steve when he'd always been sick and his own experiences after losing his arm, that the last thing Rhodey wanted right now was someone interfering. 

Learning to adapt, physically _and_ emotionally, was a part of being injured.

Rhodey eventually cleaned up the mess, made himself a coffee, and then awkwardly lowered his butt onto the other end of the sofa where Bucky was sitting.

"You know," Rhodey said, watching Bucky rather than the fake flames, "I never really understood the appeal of an open fire until the survival courses in basic training." 

Bucky nodded his agreement. There was just something about staring into the flames that gave the mind permission to wander.

"It took me ages to convince Tony that fake flames were almost as good as the real ones. Not that Tony had any idea what I was talking about. I don't think he ever went camping a day in his life."

Again Bucky nodded. Tony sure didn't seem the type to want to commune with bugs and nature. With his wealth and privilege he'd probably never even considered it. 

"I guess not," Bucky said, an itch starting at the back of his mind. Whether it was a left over response from his days as the Winter Soldier or maybe just the result of his dislike for all things military these days, Bucky wasn't quite sure. But he wasn't about to ignore it. "Steve said you and Tony have been friends for a long time."

"Sure have," Rhodey said with a serious nod. 

But when Bucky glanced toward Rhodey, he caught sight of something out of the corner of his eye. As casually as he could he turned his attention back to the fake fire and this time watched more closely. The flicker came every few seconds and Bucky might have dismissed it as a quirk of his serum enhanced vision if it wasn't for the fact that Rhodey was actively _not_ looking at the screen.

He must not have been as good at hiding his reactions as he used to be, or perhaps it was the fact that his Winter Soldier visage was his fallback these days, but something tipped Rhodey off because he shook his head and gave Bucky a wry smile.

"This would have been so much easier if your triggers were visual."

Bucky barely made it off the chair before the War Machine armor flew at him.


	21. Chapter 21

Bucky's first reaction was way slower than it should have been, but in all honesty he'd never expected to be attacked inside the Avengers compound or for the next faceless Hydra goon to be Tony's best friend.

The armor held him still but it was the strange high pitched noise of something pressed against his ear that left him pretty much paralyzed. He could move his eyes, swallow, and breathe so it wasn't complete paralysis, but it was definitely freaking him out. The War Machine armor—and Bucky had no idea if it was empty or had someone else inside—arranged him back onto the sofa and then took a step back.

Rhodey shook his head as he moved closer. "Sorry, Buck. No one's going to hurt you, man. We just need a few moments to chat." 

Bucky wanted to rage at the guy, even imagined tearing the asshole limb from limb, but he couldn't stop Rhodey from saying the Russian words that he should never have known.

When the final word reached Bucky's ears he was actually grateful for the paralysis. The urge to break his programming was strong but so was the suicide trigger, yet being unable to move gave him time to think, to plan, to...cope.

"Soldier, are you ready to comply?" Rhodey asked in Russian.

Bucky might have rolled his eyes if he'd been able. He was still completely paralyzed, so even if the trigger words had overridden his free will, he still wouldn't have been able to respond.

Rhodey waited a moment for an answer and then shook his head as if he'd only just remembered. "Um...sorry. Yeah...um...blink slowly if you are ready to comply?" The words came out more of a question than an order—and nobody ever apologized to the asset—but Bucky did the best he could. It wouldn't hurt for the guy to believe Bucky was his to control right now. Bucky might even be able to resist the suicide trigger long enough to warn Steve of the traitor in their midst.

Assuming that Rhodey was working by his own free will. Damn. How would they ever know who the true enemies were? Bucky managed to close his eyes very slowly—what the hell was that paralysis device?—and then forced them open again. 

"Okay, good," Rhodey said. He moved toward the doorway as if checking for the others. "Senator Ross has a few questions for you, so you're just going to tell Steve you're heading into town for a few hours. Someone will meet you out front of the coffee shop." Again Bucky wanted to roll his eyes. Despite the small size of the town there were three coffee shops in the main street alone. Rhodey checked the corridor again and finally seemed to realize his instructions needed to be clearer. "The coffee shop on the corner of Fifth and Main is a military front so Ross can keep an eye on the Avengers. Either he'll meet you there or he'll send someone to collect you."

Bucky was pretty sure Rhodey was again waiting for a response even though Bucky still wasn't able to move. He heard Sam's and Steve's footsteps long before they were close to the room. Rhodey didn't have the advantage of super soldier hearing but he did get enough warning to push Bucky sideways—so that the side of his face was pressed against the cushion—and then to give Bucky one last order.

"Pretend you're asleep until you regain physical functions, and then act like Bucky Barnes until you can get out of the compound."

Bucky blinked slowly again, hoping it seemed like he was trying to comply.

~*~

The moment Steve stepped into the room he knew something was wrong. Whether it a sixth sense or a serum-enhanced skill in observation, he wasn't quite certain, but it was enough to put him on edge even before he saw Bucky's slumped form.

He was about to react angrily—Bucky had been hurt enough, for fuck's sake—when he realized who else was in the room. 

Colonel James Rhodes, retired.

It may have been hypocritical coming from a man who'd willingly joined the military to fight for his country, but Steve had never quite been comfortable around the Air Force Colonel. He'd always seemed too dedicated to following orders.

And yeah, that was probably unfair too, since following orders was the whole point of the military hierarchy. But there was just something about James Rhodes that Steve had never been able to fully trust.

Discovering that the Colonel's posting had been as the Military Liaison to Stark Industries—a job that essentially ordered him to be Tony's best friend—and then learning how Rhodey had first acquired the War Machine armor hadn't done anything to quell Steve's distrust. 

What sort of best friend ignored the signs that Tony was dying from palladium poisoning and then instead of helping him cope with the emotional meltdown, called him unworthy and stole his tech? Yeah, Tony had explained that he'd built the War Machine armor to only respond to Rhodey, but taking it without permission was about as low as a "best friend" could get. Especially when he "upgraded" it using weapons built by one of Tony's most despised rivals.

It also suggested that Rhodey's first loyalty had always been to his job and not to Tony.

And right now he was acting way too casually for someone sharing a room with Bucky while he was sleeping. They all knew that Bucky never let his guard down enough to sleep in an area so many people were able to access.

Falling asleep on the couch just wasn't something Bucky would do. Steve walked over and sat beside him, trying to act normal even as he assessed his best friend's situation. He glanced at the fake flames Bucky had apparently been watching and didn't miss the way Rhodey oh so casually stepped in between and then turned the screen off.

Something was definitely going on.

Steve felt just a little bit ill when Tony walked into the room a few moments later. He looked like he hadn't slept in days. Considering the sort of things he developed in his workshop, that was possibly even true, but being that tired would make him even more susceptible to the brainwashing. 

Fuck, Steve really hoped he was right about Tony. 

But he wasn't going to let Bucky pay the price no matter who was behind whatever was happening right now. 

"Hey, Buck," Steve said, pretending that Bucky being asleep on the sofa was a normal thing, "you bored or something?"

Bucky opened his eyes and looked back at Steve but he didn't actually move. That was probably more disconcerting than finding him asleep on the couch. 

"Bucky? Do you need medical assistance?" Steve asked, suddenly very worried. Was this another side effect of trying to break his triggers? Was Rhodey's suspicious behavior just a coincidence? Or perhaps just a product of Steve's distrust?

Bucky groaned and moved just a little. "Stop fussin', doll," he said, his Brooklyn accent more pronounced than when they'd been kids. "'m fine." He sat up awkwardly, his coordination clearly affected by something. "Just need some cawfee."

In all the years Steve had known him, Bucky had never pronounced the word "coffee" with such a broad accent. And, despite them both being openly gay these days, Bucky had never called Steve "doll" in his life. They were best friends, never lovers.

Something was definitely wrong, but Steve couldn't decide whether Bucky's unusual behavior was part of the problem or his way of trying to tell Steve something important.

"Sure," Steve said, "I'll...um...grab you a coffee." He glanced over to see Tony nod and reach for a clean cup.

Bucky rubbed the heels of his hands against his eyes, a very familiar show of tiredness that had been common in their younger years. It wasn't the type of weakness or vulnerability post-Winter-Soldier Bucky would show in front of people he didn't trust. Considering that both Tony and Rhodey were in the room it was yet another sign that something was wrong.

"Nah, Stevie," Bucky said, standing up a little less easily than usual. "Gonna take a walk into town. Get me a cawfee and maybe check out a place to go dancin'."

"Okay," Steve said, "sounds great." He glanced at Sam and saw the concern he was carefully hiding from the others as well. Steve scratched his fingers through the thick beard he'd grown over the past couple weeks and knew that it wasn't quite enough disguise for him not to be recognized in town. The whole world knew that James Buchanan Barnes—War hero and Steve Roger's best friend—had taken up the Captain America name when Steve had "died," so wandering the local streets would not help him to stay hidden.

Thankfully, these days, Sam knew Steve's thought processes almost as well as Bucky always had.

"I could use some fresh air," Sam said casually. "Mind if I come with?"

"Don't need a babysitta," Bucky said, narrowing his eyes at Steve, He took a step closer, placed his palm against the side of Steve's face, and then leaned in for a more-than-just-friends kiss. Stunned, Steve barely managed to not react badly when Bucky moved back, and gave him that cocky grin he'd always worn before the war. "No matter who I dance with, doll, you know I always come back to ya."

To anyone else the way Bucky gazed into Steve's eyes right then might have seemed adoring, but Steve saw the intensity behind it. Bucky was playing a part and he was giving Steve as many signals as he could without letting the culprit know what was going on.

"Okay, Buck," Steve said, sounding resigned. "Go have some fun. We'll meet you back here in a few hours."

"Make it six, doll," Bucky said, and then turned to leave the room, a cocky swagger to his step.

~*~ 

Bucky felt the suicide trigger as a vague, half-formed thought niggling at the back of his mind. The minutes of paralysis had enabled him to partially suppress the programmed instinct, but it also helped that Bucky was kind of doing what Rhodey had told him to do.

As ordered he was going into town to meet Senator Ross or one of his men. Bucky just hoped that he would have a heavily armed team of Avengers backing him up by the time he got there.

Surely the best strategic mind in several generations would have noticed how many signals Bucky had just given him that something wasn't right.

Fuck, he hoped so.

This might be their best chance to shut down Senator Ross's schemes once and for all. Bucky prayed that he could continue to resist the suicide trigger long enough to finish this final mission. 

And he wished he'd had one last chance to talk to his family before Rhodey had used his damn trigger words.


	22. Chapter 22

Steve watched the War Machine armor help Rhodey from the room. Tony had programmed the suit to assist whenever Rhodey need it, so that was a reasonable explanation for it being in the kitchen area, but Steve was pretty sure that hadn't been its only purpose.

Sam moved casually to the doorway, glanced into the corridor to confirm Rhodey had gone in the opposite direction to Bucky, and then closed the door and turned back to Steve.

"FRIDAY," Steve said, "privacy protocols."

Steve started to worry when the AI didn't respond. He turned to Tony and was relieved to see him frowning at his phone and muttering under his breath. It was his typical response when one of his creations wasn't working as he expected.

"Tony?"

"She's offline in this area," Tony practically growled. "Why the hell is she offline in this area?" He tapped his phone several times and then smiled grimly. "FRIDAY, what the hell just happened?"

"I'm afraid I don't understand the question, boss."

"First," Tony said, looking to Steve for guidance, "privacy protocols for this room." 

"Yes, boss."

Tony was still frowning at his phone. Whatever he found there was apparently very frustrating. "FRIDAY, why were you offline in the kitchen area?"

"I wasn't aware of—" The AI cut off her own words in what would have been a startled reaction from a human. "I seem to have several minutes' worth of corrupted surveillance in that area." She elongated the word "area," drawing out the sound the way a human would when they were distracted by something else. "Actually, boss, the files seem to be replacements. They're mildly corrupted but apparently show the area as being empty for the past fifteen minutes."

"The whole time Rhodey and Bucky were in here?" Sam speculated. Steve folded his arms and nodded in agreement. That was very likely exactly what had happened.

"FRIDAY," Tony ordered, "run a diagnostic on surveillance systems. Search for any corrupted files, specifically those similar to the one we just found."

"Done," the AI said a moment later. "One-hundred-and-seventeen files have the same or very similar corruption and all seem to be of empty rooms."

"FRIDAY, is there a pattern to them? Same time, same place? That sort of thing?" Steve asked, He hadn't really considered the idea that someone they knew could be a traitor—not even Rhodey when it really came down to it—so he was kicking himself now for assuming that Tony's brainwashing was coming in via the Internet.

"Negative, Captain. The files seem to be random."

Steve moved toward the fake fireplace, ordered Sam and Tony to avert their eyes, and turned the screen back on. At first he didn't notice anything amiss—he'd watched the fake flames a few times before—but then a pattern started to emerge. Every few seconds or so something other than flames flickered across the screen.

"FRIDAY, can you slow down the pictures on this screen? Maybe show them frame by frame?"

"Sorry, Captain, but the 'fireplace' is completely independent of my systems."

Tony seemed surprised by that news. And seriously pissed about it. He fiddled with his phone for a few moments and then, without glancing at the fireplace, handed the phone to Steve.

"FRIDAY, Steve is going to record the playback. I need you to break it down frame by frame and display only the frames that show something other than flames."

"Yes, boss," the AI said, the large TV screen already showing images that were mainly words. 

"What the hell?" Tony asked, moving closer and reading a few of the hidden messages out loud. " _The military is here to protect everyone,_ " and " _Trust that the elected government is doing the right thing._ " Tony ran a hand down his face, looking very tired and annoyed. "Government propaganda? Seriously? Is this Rhodey's idea of a joke?"

"I don't believe so, boss," FRIDAY replied.

"So why is it hidden in the—" Tony cut off his ranting words. "Son of a bitch," he growled. "Rhodey's been brainwashing me?" He paced back and forth a few steps before stopping to stare at Steve. "I trusted him." The tiny, near-breathless words were heartbreaking, but the devastation on Tony's face was worse.

Steve crossed the small space and wrapped his arms around Tony, pulling him closer when the man tried to move away. Steve knew all about Obie and the way he'd betrayed Tony's trust. Learning that Rhodey had also only been pretending to be his friend would tear Tony apart.

"We're not sure it's Rhodey," Steve said, wincing when he remembered that Rhodey at least knew something about the fireplace screen's real function. "At least, we're not sure he's working of his own free will."

"You think he's being brainwashed too?" Tony asked skeptically. "Don't you think I would have noticed my best friend behaving differently?"

"I don't know," Steve said honestly. "I noticed you acting differently sometimes, but Rhodey was always good at following orders. Maybe he's just trusting the wrong people."

"I guess that makes sense," Tony said slowly, his genius mind apparently already running memories and scenarios at the speed of light. "Barnes was acting weird, right?" Tony moved away from Steve and started again to pace. "That _was_ weird, right? The whole kissing you and calling you 'doll'? That wasn't the guy you know?" He stopped pacing and looked again at Steve. "You said there had never been anything between the two of you."

"Yeah, that was out of character. Bucky and I never dated," Steve said, eager to reassure the man. "And he never called me doll, but he was acting very much like the young man I knew before the war, before everything with Hydra."

"Would the fireplace messages have affected him?" Sam asked.

"I don't think so," Steve said, wondering if he was being arrogant in assuming the serum protected him and Bucky. Steve had spent many hours watching the fake flames and didn't feel anymore trusting toward military or governments than he had before he'd refused to sign the Accords. If anything he was more determined not to sign the damn thing. "But now I'm wondering if someone used his trigger words."

"That would kill him," Sam said, somehow sounding like the "voice of reason" _and_ completely alarmed. "We need to go after him."

Tony gave Sam a startled look. "Why would it kill him? Shouldn't we be more concerned about the Winter Soldier killing us?" 

They'd kept the truth about Bucky away from everyone else mainly because they hadn't known for sure how much of what they told the others got back to Senator Ross. Hopefully just knowing about the way they'd been influencing Tony would be enough for Tony to break the conditioning—or at least be aware of it long enough to check his instincts and not react the opposite way to his normal thought processes.

And really they had no choice at this stage but to trust Tony. They needed his help.

"Bucky broke his programming," Steve said, watching Tony for an unusual reaction, "but it set off a suicide trigger. I suspect whoever used his words—"

"You can say 'Rhodey'," Tony said angrily, obviously choosing to fuel his resolve rather than dwell on the hurt right now.

" _Whoever_ used his words," Steve said, trying to make it clear that he believed Rhodey innocent until they knew otherwise, "probably told him to act like Bucky Barnes until he got out of the compound."

"Makes sense," Sam said. "It was clear when we came in that something was very wrong. Bucky seemed like he'd been drugged." He turned to Steve. "Is it possible for him to burn through a sedative that quickly?"

Steve nodded. Sedatives and painkillers barely worked on him at all. With his slightly different version of the serum, Bucky's reaction times weren't far behind. Thank fuck they both healed quickly because they felt the pain just fine.

"Okay," Tony said, "let's assume someone sedated Bucky and then used his trigger words. Why? For what purpose?" He was tapping his fingers against the bench in agitation. "Who would gain the most by turning Bucky back into the Winter Soldier?"

"Every enemy we've ever faced?" Sam asked, just a touch sarcastically.

"True," Tony said, conceding the point easily, "but who would brainwash me into trusting the military and the government and be able to use Rhodey in their scheme to get to the Winter Soldier?"

"Senator Ross," Sam said, clearly angry that things kept circling back to a man they should have been able to trust. "He already tore apart the Avengers once. He doesn't seem the type to give up trying."

"He's not," Tony said, absently agreeing before doing a double take and turning his attention fully to Sam. "How did he tear us apart? Zemo was the guy, wasn't he?"

"Ross and Zemo were working together to destroy the Avengers, albeit for different reasons. Zemo blamed us for the death of his family, but Ross wanted control over us all."

"I guess that makes sense," Tony said. "We're the single most dangerous special forces unit in the world, but why is this the first I'm hearing about Ross being involved?" He seemed more hurt than angry and Steve's heart broke for the man all over again. Tony had been betrayed by so many people. Steve had never wanted to be one of them, even if his silence had been necessary.

"When the Accords were first mentioned your reactions just didn't match the guy we know. In fact many of your arguments were the opposite of what you'd voiced publicly since even before you became Iron Man. And asking us to trust the man who'd pursued Hulk all those years seemed very strange coming from one of Bruce's closest friends." Tony nodded slowly, perhaps running a few of those unexpected reactions and decisions through his mind from his new perspective. 

"We figured out a while ago that you were being influenced by someone," Sam said, pointing toward the fake flames without looking at them. "Until a few minutes ago, we didn't know how."

Tony nodded, faster this time, his brain obviously kicking into top speed when he starting talking. "Okay, okay, so we've got Ross using Rhodey to plant subconscious suggestions in my mind. I'm making decisions based on things I don't actually believe. Ross wants the public to hate the Avengers—something that is not happening at the moment—so he's going to use Bucky to what? Sully our names? Make us look like we're all insane killers? Have him assassinate a town full of innocent people?" Tony froze for a moment. Hell they probably all did. "Shit, he's going to use the Winter Soldier in an act of domestic terrorism."

"Except," Steve said, swallowing hard, "he doesn't know that Bucky broke his programming. I'm not even sure how Buck resisted the suicide trigger long enough to leave the room, but the moment he refuses to do what he's ordered to do he'll put the gun to his own head and pull the trigger."

"Breathe, Cap," Sam said, always the calm voice of reason. "We don't know for sure that he's been triggered. Maybe the drugs affected him longer than we expected. It would help if we knew what was used."

"Only one person here can answer that question," Tony said grimly. "FRIDAY, where's Rhodey?

"He's in his quarters, boss."

"Okay," Tony said, hurrying toward the hallway. Steve and Sam stayed close. "FRIDAY, shut down the War Machine armor, lock Rhodey out of its systems, and give sole command access to Captain Rogers."

"Done," FRIDAY reported a moment later.

"And tell witchypoo and her boyfriend to meet us at the door to Rhodey's quarters."

"Vision and Wanda are both on their way."

'Thanks, FRIDAY," Steve said, just as they reached the door to Rhodey's living space. "Hopefully Rhodey can at least tell us where Bucky went so that we can avoid potential disaster."

Tony nodded and moved slightly closer. Steve placed his hand onto Tony's shoulder and squeezed gently. "When this is all over, you and I are going to have a personal conversation."

For a moment Steve worried Tony would take that the wrong way, but he breathed slightly easier when the man nodded, smiled, and said, "I'd like that."


	23. Chapter 23

"Hello, Mrs. Barnes," Clint said as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. Laura grinned. She'd always loved being Mrs. Laura Barton, but it felt right for them all now to go by the last name of Barnes. "Did you miss me?"

Laura laughed. "You were gone two whole hours." He spent more time in the barn training most days. "You were barely twenty miles away." The nearest town was closer to this farm that the one they'd previously owned, which was actually quite nice. Getting the kids to school and back was going to be far easier. "And you called me three times while you were out." She turned in Clint's embrace and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Of course I missed you."

Clint chuckled and then grinned and kissed her at the same time. It wasn't exactly a kiss, but it was typical Clint and she loved him even more for it. Bucky's kisses were always sexy and passionate and intense. Clint's usually started out playful and fun.

But just the thought of never kissing Bucky again was enough to dampen Laura's spirits. This time Clint's kiss was soft and reassuring. "He's doing okay," he said quietly, apparently reading her mind or perhaps simply sharing her sense of loss.

"I know," Laura said, "but I want him here where he's safe."

Clint nodded his agreement. Bucky had far less chance at home on the farm of running into someone who knew his trigger words, but Bucky didn't want to risk the kids witnessing what he believed was inevitable. One day he would hear his trigger words, and because he'd already broken his programming, the suicide trigger would immediately kick in again. 

Maybe if the three of them had been together longer, Bucky might have considered staying, but with their relationship having only lasted a month and with the kids still young enough to maybe forget he was once part of the family, Bucky had chosen to walk away, to isolate himself from the people who loved him, in an effort to protect them.

Laura both loved and adored him for it, and absolutely hated that he was probably right.

But she'd respected his wishes and let him go.

"Would it be wrong to ask Nat to help you knock him out and drag him home?"

"Nat already offered," Clint said with a soft laugh.

The idea was tempting, so very, very tempting, but Bucky had spent enough time being unable to make his own decisions. She wasn't about to try and take this one from him.

"Clint," Natasha called urgently, stepping out of the house and throwing her cell phone toward him as she hurried toward the Wakandan transport they had hidden in the barn. "It's Cap. He needs our help."

~*~

Bucky was very glad that he wasn't currently armed. 

Every few minutes the suicide trigger niggled at his brain, the instinct as natural as wanting to absently scratch an itch. Chances were that if he'd had a gun, he would have followed through without even thinking about it. Just a moment's lapse in concentration could easily be deadly.

But he had a job to do—protecting his friends, his family, and the rest of the world from whatever his "handlers" wanted him to do next. Even if that meant letting the suicide trigger have its way.

He'd been trying to think of it as a "noble" death, but in the end dead was still dead and, despite his chronological age, he'd barely begun to live. It pissed him off that he'd never had a real chance to choose his own life.

The anger at that thought was rather cleansing, the itch of the trigger settling into something more annoying than demanding. He let the hot emotion swell through him, using the strength it gave him to focus on his ultimate goal—to shut down the people who'd done this to him and anyone else who wanted to use him as their weapon.

He walked casually, slowly making his way into town while hoping that Steve and the others had already realized something was wrong. But he arrived all too soon at the coffee shop where Rhodey had directed him to go. 

And then he stood out the front and waited.

~*~

Rhodey didn't seem to be scared by the fact that every available Avenger had just arrived at his door, but he did seem resigned.

"Where did you send Bucky?" Steve asked, bluffing slightly since they had no real proof that Rhodey was the reason Bucky had left the compound. When Rhodey seemed reluctant to answer, Steve turned to Wanda.

She tilted her head in that spooky way of hers and frowned slightly as she read the thoughts uppermost in Rhodey's mind. "There is a coffee shop in town that is…"

"Fine," Rhodey said, throwing his hands in the air. "Senator Ross wanted a chance to debrief Bucky on what he remembers about Hydra. It's no big deal, and quite frankly should have happened long before now." He turned his attention to Steve. "With all due respect, sir, if you hadn't interfered in operations that were none of your business, the Winter Soldier would have been in custody a long time ago and we'd already have detailed intel on Hydra activities."

"No," Sam said, placing a hand on Steve's arm as if he sensed the complete rage flowing through him right now. "If Steve hadn't interfered, Bucky would have been shot on sight for a crime he didn't even commit."

"Bullshit," Rhodey said. "My orders were to arrest him and bring him in for questioning. That's what I did."

"Those were _your_ orders," Steve conceded with a nod, "but they were different to every other operative involved. Nobody wanted the truth. They just wanted Bucky dead."

"That is completely paranoid, Steve," Rhodey said angrily. "Are you even listening to yourself?"

Tony seemed startled by the news too. Had he not known about the shoot-on-sight order either? 

"He's telling the truth, Rhodes," Sam said through gritted teeth. "We got that information directly from one of the senior operatives on the case."

"You mean Sharon Carter, don't you?" He shook his head sadly at Steve. "The woman who went crazy with jealousy and 'killed' you? That senior operative? You're going to take her word for it?"

"No need to take anyone's word for it," Steve said, grinding his teeth now as well. The stuff Rhodey was saying might have made reasonable sense if Steve hadn't witnessed everything for himself. "I was there. I'm the reason none of the operatives were killed while Bucky was fighting for his life."

"Fine," Rhodey conceded, "maybe someone did give a kill order, but that's all the more reason to gather as much information as we can about Hydra. Maybe SHIELD isn't the only organization they've infiltrated."

Everyone of Rhodey's arguments resonated with his belief in what he was saying, It was perhaps even a little disconcerting since there was a time when Steve had believed that the government and the military were doing what was necessary to keep people safe. Unfortunately, experience had mostly taught him otherwise.

But things still weren't adding up.

Steve tried one more bluff.

"Who gave you Bucky's trigger words?"

The guilt etched on Rhodey's face pretty much proclaimed his guilt but he shook his head and brazened it out. Obviously he'd forgotten about Wanda's rather unique abilities.

"Senator Ross gave them to him," Wanda said, squinting slightly as if it took effort to see what Rhodey didn't want her to know. She turned to Steve. "But he honestly thinks he's doing the right thing. Senator Ross told him he just wants to talk to Bucky but that they might need to trigger the Winter Soldier to get all the answers."

"Like I said, Cap," Rhodey said, his voice annoyingly tired as if Steve was somehow the person creating the problem, "if you hadn't interfered this would not have been necessary."

"He's got a good point," Tony said in a reasonable-sounding tone, stepping into the conversation for the first time. "And Ross wanting intel from the Winter Soldier makes a lot of sense."

Rhodey smiled grimly and nodded at Tony. "Thank you. Finally a voice of reason."

"Except that doesn't explain why he didn't just ask Bucky, or why it was necessary to use his trigger words to get him out of the compound, and it sure as fuck,"—Tony rushed closer, getting right in Rhodey's face—"doesn't explain why the soothing 'fireplace' screen you spent months talking me into using contains enough brainwashing material to have me making decisions I would not have made in my right mind."

"Whoa," Rhodey said, holding up his hands and backing away. "There is nothing bad in there. General Ross just wanted to balance your views."

"Balance my views?" Tony asked in a deceptively calm voice. "Balance them how exactly?"

"Tones," Rhodey said, sounding like the friend to Tony that he'd usually seemed, "your dad had some pretty radical views after the war...and then there was Obie... He filled your head with all sorts of trash. He wasn't just the asshole who tried to kill you. He was also a traitor to this country. There's no telling how much damage he did to your thinking."

Tony gave him the look he usually reserved for the most obnoxious of reporters. "So your answer to my 'terrible' upbringing was to brainwash me into thinking your way? The way Senator Ross wants me to think?" 

"You're overcomplicating it," Rhodey said, glancing around the room now as if he finally just realized that none of them were agreeing with his side of this argument. "It was just a subtle reminder that you can trust the government and the military."

"It was," Tony said in the coldest tone Steve had ever heard from him, "subliminal messaging that took away my right to make my own goddamn decisions." He turned to Wanda. "Do we have everything we need to locate Bucky?"

"If we get there before they move him," she said, casting a worried glance at Steve. "But I fear we may already be too late."

"If I may, boss," FRIDAY cut in. "The tracking device in Bucky's arm can be activated remotely."

"What the hell?" Tony said, grabbing his phone and pointing it at the TV like a remote control. "Show me the specs!"

"Tony?" Steve asked, very worried by Tony's reaction.

"I don't remember installing that," he said, glaring again at Rhodey. "I actually remember discarding the idea because it was a breach of Bucky's privacy." He rounded on Rhodey yet again. "The guy spent seventy years being tortured and abused and forced to do horrendous things by Hydra. Why the fuck would you think it was a good idea to use his trigger words? To take that hard-won freedom a–away from h–him when he's done nothing... _nothing _wrong by his own free will."__

"He killed your parents," Rhodey said as if that justified everything else.

"Hydra killed my parents," Tony said, his voice hoarse with rage and conviction. "Bucky Barnes is an innocent man and he's about to die and that's all on you!"

"Die?" Rhodey asked, honestly bewildered. "General Ross only wants to debrief him."

" _Senator_ Ross," Steve said, correcting Rhodey's words, trying to remind him that both he and Ross were retired from the military, "has been trying to tear the Avengers apart since their inception. We have proof he was working with Zemo, and now that he has Bucky he will very likely order him to do something horrific just so he can prove to the public that we're dangerous and need to be controlled."

"But the suicide trigger means the only one who will die is Bucky," Sam added grimly.

"Congratulations, _War Machine_ ," Tony said sarcastically, "you just sent a completely innocent man to his death."


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning: If you are susceptible to certain triggers, please check the end notes before reading this chapter.

Bucky didn't want to get into the car that pulled up at the curb. He hadn't seen anything to suggest that Steve and the others were following him. The last thing he wanted was to have to face Ross alone, but this was still their best chance to prove the man wasn't the trustworthy guy he pretended to be.

And short of tipping off the soldiers sent to collect him, Bucky had no choice but to project his Winter Soldier façade.

It was kind of sad how easy it was to slip into character, the Winter Soldier personality far more familiar than the pre-war Bucky Barnes.

But he was neither of those men now. He was Captain America. He had friends, he had family, and he was loved. 

He held onto that thought as they transferred him from the car to a helicopter and took him far away from everyone and everything he cared about.

~*~

"Where are they taking him?" Steve asked Rhodey, anger and fear beating at his brain as he watched the tiny dot that was a tracker in Bucky's arm—a device that none of them had known about—move rapidly across the screen.

"To Gen... _Senator_ Ross," Rhodey said, correcting himself this time, "but I don't know where he's based at the moment. He uses military facilities all over the country."

"Fucking fabulous," Tony muttered, continuing the work on his phone without looking up. "You trusted Ross so goddamn much but it never occurred to you that there was something fucked up about a Senator working out of military bases?"

"No, Tony, it didn't," Rhodey said, sounding angry himself now. "I spent most of my Air Force career in combat zones. I learned to trust the men and women around me, and it's why I'm still alive. Every mission... _Every_ mission I flew could have been my last." He looked over at Steve, but then shook his head and dropped his gaze. "It's about doing what's right for everyone, not just a few. The 'big picture' needs people who can follow orders and work as a team. It's about trusting everyone to do their job."

Tony snorted, obviously unwilling to listen to anything Rhodey had to say. "And you called Steve's attitude 'dangerously arrogant.' Maybe you should have looked in a fucking mirror once in a while."

Steve couldn't blame Tony for being so unforgiving. His entire life he'd been surrounded by people who'd hurt him—Howard, Obie, Pepper and many more faceless sycophants who'd only befriended him for his money. James Rhodes had been the one constant, consistent friend in his life. To learn that Tony's friendship had come in a very distant second to everything else had to have cut very deep.

So while Steve might be willing to listen to Rhodey's explanations _after_ Bucky was safe—perhaps even forgive Rhodey eventually for not questioning his orders a tiny bit more—Steve wasn't about to risk Tony believing he wasn't firmly on Tony's side in this.

Tony had a right to be pissed, and he had a right to be hurt, and he had the right to choose when and if he might forgive Rhodey for his actions. No way was Steve going to interfere with that.

"We're your team now," Sam said, sounding resigned and disgusted. "You should have trusted us first."

Rhodey flinched at the reminder, but didn't say anything else.

"Let's just get Bucky back," Wanda said, most likely being bombarded by the heightened emotions and angry thoughts of the people filling the small room. "We'll deal with the rest later."

"Call Nat and Clint again," Tony said, still not looking up from his phone. "Tell them I'm sending coordinates. They're closer. We'll meet them there."

"Okay," Steve said, relieved to finally be able to do something other than stand around arguing. "Avengers, time to go to work."

Everyone moved quickly to gather what they would need. Steve was the last to leave Rhodey's room.

"For whatever it's worth, Cap," Rhodey said quietly, "I'm sorry I put Bucky in danger."

Steve nodded once and stepped into the hallway.

~*~

Clint was both relieved and terrified to get the new coordinates. He and Natasha were close to Bucky, but their team was at least five minutes behind. Sitting and waiting for them was going to be impossible. Every minute was critical.

He glanced at the woman who'd run more missions with him than any other single person at SHIELD and nearly smiled in relief. The Black Widow had no intention of sitting still either. 

"We have no idea how many of the people working for Ross still think they're doing the right thing," Clint said as he put the shielded aircraft down only a few hundred feet away from the building Bucky was being tor... Clint swallowed hard and shoved that thought aside. If he started thinking of what might be happening to Bucky right now he wasn't going to be able to do his job. He shook his head and forced himself to concentrate on the problem they currently faced. "From what Steve said, Rhodey is still pretty adamant that he was doing everything for the right reasons, so we need to use non-lethal force." 

Natasha nodded, checking her equipment one last time before opening the transport's door. "We locate Bucky and protect him until the rest of the team gets here," Natasha said, voicing out loud the thoughts Clint still had in his head. 

"Agreed," he said, reaching for an Icer gun as well as his bow and arrows. 

~*~

"Vision," Steve asked, restless now that they were on the quinjet but still had nothing to do, "were you able to contact Scott?"

"Apologies, Captain, but Ant-man seems unable to answer his phone at this time."

Steve nodded his understanding. Scott had been eager to help, but after following Ross around for several weeks without finding any of the information they needed, Steve had sent the man home to spend some time with his daughter, Cassie.

Scott had been disappointed—apparently he really enjoyed a good heist even if it meant basically hiding in Ross's pockets for days on end—but after more than a year in Wakanda he'd also been looking forward to spending time with his child.

If the jokes he'd made about pretending to be an "action figure" were anything to go by, Scott's ex-wife didn't even know he was around. Steve had decided the fewer details he knew about Ant-man's personal life, the better.

"Natasha and Clint just landed," Tony said from the quinjet's cockpit. "We're about 3 minutes out."

Steve didn't need to ask if Clint and Natasha were waiting for them. He knew the super spies well enough to guess their plans. Normally he'd encourage them to wait for backup, but he also understood that under these circumstances it was never going to happen. Thankfully Clint and Natasha both loved Bucky enough not to risk getting him killed by acting stupidly. They would both follow their training and get the job done.

And almost all of the other Avengers would be there soon.

~*~

Bucky shut down his emotions, sinking deeper into the Winter Soldier than he had since the fight with Steve on the hellicarriers in DC so long ago. He couldn't risk showing any sort of fear right now. Senator Ross believed he was under the influence of his trigger words and the only way Bucky was going to gather evidence of the man's nefarious schemes was to give the impression that the Winter Soldier was waiting calmly for orders.

Fortunately it seemed to work. Ross glanced uninterestedly at him—like one would glance at a package delivery they didn't quite have time for—and then waved all but two of the guards out of the office.

"Soldier," he asked absently, not even bothering to look over at Bucky, "are you ready to comply?" His Russian pronunciation was terrible, his accent even worse, but Bucky nevertheless understood and knew the reaction Senator Ross was expecting.

"I am ready to comply," he answered in Russian.

"Good," Senator Ross said switching to English. "I need to know anything you can tell me about Hydra."

"The asset is only told what it needs to know for each mission," Bucky said, stalling for time while he tried to figure out what the hell was going on. Was this really just a "few questions" as Rhodey had claimed? In all honesty, questions had been the last thing Bucky had been expecting.

"And then you return to base and report?" Senator Ross said, not really making it sound like a question.

Bucky nodded sharply, just once.

"Okay," Senator Ross said, finally looking up from the paperwork he'd been reading. "Mission report."

Bucky hesitated. As far as he could remember the Winter Soldier asked very few questions, but without a date he had no way of knowing which mission report Senator Ross was after. "For which mission date, sir?"

"Mission Report: December 16, 1991."

The same mission report Zemo had asked for. Was it a coincidence that Ross wanted to know the same one? Or was he trying to establish the veracity of Bucky's reports since he undoubtedly already knew what the Winter Soldier had told Zemo.

"That report is no longer available," he said, doing his best to sound like an emotionless AI. There was no way he'd be able to give details of killing Tony's parents without his emotions leaking through. Yes, Bucky knew none of what he'd done as the Winter Soldier was his fault, but he'd still done it and he still had to live with that knowledge.

No way was he handing that information over to a man who probably already knew it anyway.

"Why is it no longer available?" Senator Ross asked, a touch of frustration leaking into his voice.

"The information was ordered erased by handler Zemo on the—"

"I don't need to know the damn date," Senator Ross growled. "I was there."

Bucky nodded his acknowledgement, shut his mouth, and tried to stand in a way that suggested he was calm but alert and waiting for further instructions. 

"Mission Report: September 24, 1985."

"That report is no longer available," Bucky repeated. He had no idea if the date was significant or one plucked from the air, but since he'd broken the programming very little of the mission information the Winter Soldier had apparently once held seemed to be available to him. 

Quite frankly Bucky was glad to have it gone. There were some memories he never, _ever_ wanted to recover.

"What reports are available?" Ross asked, his exasperation growing.

"None. All reports were ordered deleted by handler Zemo." Not true of course, but it was the best excuse Bucky could come up with right now.

"Damn it," Senator Ross said, his words eerily calm now. "I had hoped to learn something worth knowing." He shrugged. "But I guess we can just move onto phase two."

One of the guards standing behind Bucky snickered, apparently already aware of what phase two entailed.

"Load him up," Senator Ross told the men standing behind him. "Couple of Skorpions, extra clips, selection of handguns, as much as he can carry. Let's make sure the public knows their new Captain America is really the guy who murdered dozens in the DC incident."

"Yes, sir," the man who'd snickered a few moments ago responded.

"Soldier, your next mission," Ross said, his voice full of the authority that the Winter Soldier had never been able to deny but simply made Bucky Barnes feel violently ill. "These soldiers will escort you to the target area—a shopping center in the middle of town." He glanced at his watch. "Perfect school will be out soon. Kill everyone and keep killing until you are fatally wounded."

Something must have shown on Bucky's face because Senator Ross gave him a speculative look. "Soldier, are you ready to comply?"

"No," Bucky said, already moving fast and taking down the two soldiers behind him before they had a chance to react. They both hit the ground pretty hard, but Bucky was reasonably certain they'd recover enough to stand trial. "I'm not ready to comply ever again."

He didn't grab their weapons, too afraid of the suicide trigger to hold one in his hand just now, so the gunshot from behind him wasn't entirely unexpected but the lack of pain was confusing. Had Senator Ross missed?

Bucky spun slowly, blinked several times, and told himself he honestly couldn't see what he thought he was seeing.

"Ant-man?" The guy was literally sitting on Senator Ross's lap. 

"Hey, Bucky Barnes or ah...Winter Soldier... I was... I was hiding in his pocket..." He glanced over his shoulder at the unconscious man's face. "Oops, I must have...you know...head butted him or something when I grew in size...but well that's not important now." He scratched his helmet as if it was his head and tilted his head in what Bucky assumed was the equivalent of a sheepish smile. "Yeah, I probably should have given this a little bit more thought. If you are the Winter Soldier right now, could you maybe not kill me?" He held up his hands—sort of. "Please. I mean, you know, if that's okay with you."

"I'm not going to kill you, Scott," Bucky said. He'd barely gotten to know the guy before going into cryofreeze in Wakanda, but he hoped Scott remembered him well enough to know he was dealing with Bucky and not the Winter Soldier.

"Oh, good," Scott said, retracting his face plate and grinning madly. He held up a device for Bucky to see. "Got it all on tape. Video too." He pointed at the corner of the office as if Bucky should be able to see a hidden camera. "Live streaming via the Internet."

"Me too," Bucky said, pulling out his phone that had been voice recording since before he'd gotten into the car at the coffee shop. He'd been a little bit worried it might get "accidentally" erased since his recording was being streamed to a Stark Industries server and he still wasn't quite sure whose side Tony was on, but knowing Scott had a second copy was a huge relief. "Two copies is definitely better than one."

"But not as good as three," a smug female voice added from the doorway behind him. Bucky grinned because there was only one woman alive who could sneak up on him the way the Black Widow could. He turned to find Natalia holding up her own phone. "Hello, boys."

"Natalia," Bucky said, relief flooding through him, "are the others with you?"

She gave him that secret smile and with only a tilt of her chin and a raised eyebrow silently told him to turn around and look up.

Clint, grinning broadly, dropped through the small gap in the false ceiling and took Bucky in his arms.

"Hey, sexy," Clint said with a smirk. "Fancy meeting you here."

~*~

Clint knew this wasn't the time or the place but he'd missed Bucky so fucking much that he couldn't resist the need to claim the man's lips in a desperate kiss. Bucky clung to him, shaking badly, but he kissed him back with just as much passion.

"You okay?" Clint finally asked when they surfaced for breath.

"Not really," Bucky admitted. "Don't let me near a gun."

Clint understood immediately what his lover meant. Thankfully so did Nat. She searched the two soldiers Bucky had knocked out, gathered every gun she could find and then left the room.

Bucky's shaking eased considerably.

"Umm...Hawkeye," Scott called, sounding concerned. "Is this normal for an old guy?"

Confused by the question, Clint moved around the desk to get a better look. 

"What the hell?" Bucky asked, clearly weirded out.

"Fuck," Clint muttered when he realized what he was seeing. He still had an arm around Bucky, so he grabbed Scott by his sleeve and pulled them both toward the exit. "Nat," he called urgently, "clear the building. Ross is transforming exactly the way Bruce does."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains canon-typical violence and an order (that is not followed) for the Winter Soldier to murder everyone in a local shopping center.


	25. Chapter 25

Steve and Tony simply looked at each other when they heard a Hulk-like roar come from the building where Senator Ross had taken Bucky.

"Bruce?" Tony asked no one in particular.

Steve shook his head. "Can't be. Bruce is off world."

Tony looked hurt, but must have realized why Steve hadn't told him because he smiled briefly and asked, "Asgard?"

"Yeah, Thor requested Heimdall's help to locate him and then offered Bruce a new life on a planet where he can't really hurt anybody."

"And he didn't invite me." Tony was smiling happily despite the hurt he was undoubtedly feeling, then he nodded once and then let his faceplate slide into place. "But I'm glad he's safe and far away from Senator Ross," he added through the comms 

"Me too," Steve said as the team hurried toward the sound. The roar came again, further away this time. Steve corrected his direction and ran fast enough to keep up with the four members of his team who were currently flying.

"Does Nat know?" Tony asked casually as if they weren't charging toward a possibly unstoppable creature.

"She was pissed at him, but she understands."

A burst of automatic gunfire had them moving defensively, Iron Man already returning fire before Steve could drop his shield long enough to get a fix on their attacker's location. Yep, he'd really missed this. Sitting on comms and directing everyone from the sidelines wasn't nearly as much fun.

"Scarlet Witch and Vision, go track down the source of that growl. It's not the Hulk. It's something else. Keep it contained." The two of them acknowledged their orders before Wanda flew higher above the building and Vision entered by phasing ghost-like through a wall. "Falcon and Iron Man, you're with me. First we disarm the 'welcoming committee' and then we'll track down the rest of our team."

Steve didn't even have to wait for their acknowledgments before the two men went to work.

~*~

Anger surged through Bucky, white hot and unstoppable. How dare this man try to use him; to manipulate and murder for his own purposes; to attempt to tarnish the reputations of good people; to claim to be protecting the world when he was no better than any of the Hydra megalomaniacs who'd come before him? 

A strange calm suffused Bucky then, the different parts of his mind finally falling back into place. Suddenly he was the whole man facing down his enemy, every instinct, every lesson, everything that had ever happened to him condensing back into the single person. No longer fractured. No longer controllable. No longer broken.

James Buchanan Barnes wasn't going down without a god damn fight!

And he would protect his friends and the man he loved with everything he had.

Bucky didn't even hesitate. He just grabbed several of the weapons from Natasha's stash and started shooting at the huge red thing coming toward them. It growled angrily, the bullets clearly hurting it, even if they didn't pierce the skin. He aimed higher, shooting at what he hoped were the more vulnerable parts of the creature's face.

"Fall back," Natasha ordered. 

Bucky immediately moved backward and Scott shrank down to ant size, letting Clint have enough room to loose his arrow. It exploded on impact, the damage to the surrounding office instant, but it just slowed the creature down, didn't actually stop it.

It looked a lot like the Hulk, but it was red and apparently giving off a huge amount of heat if the temperature in the room was anything to go by.

Bucky and Natasha continued moving backward, continued shooting, giving Clint time to ready a different type of arrow.

Clint turned forward again, arrow raised, Bucky and Natasha moved out of his way, the teamwork seamless. This time the arrow hissed as it hit, some sort of acid exploding onto the creatures skin. It screamed in pain and surged forward.

They continued moving away from the advancing creature, instinctively balancing the need to keep eyes on the huge red thing but also be aware of what was behind. Clint's third arrow actually pierced the creature's skin, the roar of anger and pain almost deafening inside the large room.

Without consultation all three of them—Bucky was unsure where Ant-man had gone—stopped retreating, standing their ground as the creature did a tantrum of epic proportions, slamming its hands against the concrete floor again and again and again.

"It's trying to go through the floor," Natasha said calmly into the comms, her voice only reaching Bucky's ears thanks to his super soldier hearing. "Steve, evacuate the building!"

They were on the sixth floor of an eight-story building. If Ross managed to collapse the structure, his hulk-like form was probably the only thing that would survive. Even serum-enhanced super soldiers had no defense against being flattened by tons of concrete.

Bucky and Natasha moved closer, aiming their weapons for maximum impact. The creature continued to bellow its anger, the floor vibrating beneath their feet every time a huge fist impacted the concrete.

Chaos. Dust and noise, flying bits of concrete, flickering lights, and near-constant gunfire filled every one of his senses, but Bucky continued, determined to stop this man and the horrific things he had planned.

One final arrow hit the creature in the throat, the injury unlikely to be mortal, but enough to distract Ross from his attempt to destroy the building.

Again it lunged at them, clumsily this time, the many small injuries apparently affecting its coordination. Again Bucky, Clint, and Natasha backed away, but it meant they weren't quite prepared for Ross to suddenly change his mind and turn to run full tilt toward the opposite side of the building.

"He's going out the window," Clint said calmly, the obvious irritation in his movements not really filtering into his voice. "East side. Sixth floor."

"I've got him," Wanda said, her voice close enough for Bucky to hear without a comm unit. Bucky was very relieved to see a familiar red bubble surround the creature, finally halting it's movement and then wrapping fully around it, holding it almost frozen in place.

This time the thing whimpered in fear, and if Bucky hadn't known that the man underneath was General Ross, he might even have felt a little sorry for the creature. As it was, all he felt was a savage satisfaction. This red hulk-like creature was definitely dangerous, but it was the man underneath who posed the biggest threat. 

"Well I guess that explains why Ross wanted Wanda thrown in the Raft," Steve said as he, Sam, and Tony joined them. "It looks like she is more than capable of controlling him."

"Indeed, Captain," Vision said, passing through the wall as if it wasn't even there. "The rest of the base is evacuated and secured. It would seem that the only real resistance came from those who knew the awful truth of this place. The rest were willing to assist the Avengers in any way they were able."

"Thanks, Vision," Steve and Bucky both said together. Bucky grinned and shook his head. He had instinctively fallen into the leadership role of Captain America that he'd held in the field for the past few months, but he was more than ready to give it back. He grinned at his best friend, finally noticing that the black tactical gear didn't suit the guy nearly as well as the blue of his Captain America outfit.

Steve seemed to understand without needing to hear the words. "Okay," he said, taking charge, "Clint, Nat, get Bucky home. The rest of us will deal with cleanup. We'll debrief tomorrow at 0900."

It was only then that he realized Clint was surreptitiously trying to remove the gun from Bucky's hand. A little bit surprised to realize that he felt no urge to use it on himself, Bucky handed it over without an argument. "I'm okay," he said, letting Clint wrap him in his arms. "I'm pretty sure I just beat the suicide trigger."

Clint's grin was blinding. "Well then," he said, "time to come home."

~*~

It wasn't quite as easy as that, but three days later—after returning to the Avengers compound and testing Bucky's resistance to both the trigger words and the suicide trigger over and over again until he was sure he was free of their influence—Clint finally got to take the man he loved home to the family who'd missed him desperately.

"Where's Captain America?" Lila asked once all of the initial hugs were done.

"Um...Cap said he'd visit in a few weeks if he can," Clint said, puzzled by the question. Lila had talked almost non-stop about Bucky from the moment he'd left the safe house several months ago. Far from Bucky's belief that the kids would eventually forget him, Cooper's and Lila's memories had only grown more solid. Judging by the way Nathaniel was clinging to him, their youngest had missed Bucky just as much.

"Dad," Lila said, crossing her arms and giving Clint her most stubborn look. "I want to speak to Captain America."

"But Bucky just got home," Laura said, smiling at their daughter. "Wouldn't you rather spend time with him?"

Lila nodded sagely, but didn't back down. "That's _why_ I want to speak to Captain America," she said in a reasonable tone. "He kept Bucky away from us for far too long."

"That wasn't Steve's fault," Bucky said, undoubtedly feeling guilty for Steve being blamed.

"Of course it was Uncle Steve's fault," Clint said to Lila, leaning closer to Bucky to whisper, " _Steve won't mind taking one for the team._ " He kissed Bucky before lifting Nathaniel out of his arms and then turned to reach for their daughter's hand. "Come on, Lila. I'm sure Captain America would like to know everyone got home safely."

"We'll be right back," Lila sad, rushing over to hug Bucky one more time. "Don't go anywhere."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Bucky said, his expression changing to quiet relief when Laura finally had the chance to snuggle into his embrace. Clint made eye contact with Cooper and grinned widely when his son followed him and the other kids into the den.

"Thanks, Dad," Cooper whispered, clearly aware of Bucky's super soldier hearing and concerned for his sister's feelings. "Is Bucky better now?"

Not as surprised as he probably should have been that Copper had figured it out—Natasha was the world's best spy and spent a lot of time with the family so it was probably inevitable that Cooper would learn a thing or two about gathering information—Clint nevertheless nodded in answer.

"I can't guarantee that he'll never go away again. We both have a job to do, but I can promise you that Bucky and I will come home every chance we can."

Cooper nodded, smiled, and then turned his attention to the computer screen. It took no time at all to get Steve on the line. It did, however, take a while for Lila to finish her earnest and very grown-up discussion about love and family with Captain America.

~*~

"It's good to be home," Bucky said, holding Laura close as they enjoyed a few quiet moments. Laura knew he was referring to their family rather than the actual farm since Bucky had never been there before and probably hadn't given it much notice just yet.

"Clint said you were able to break the triggers, all of them." She refused to use the word "suicide" since it would never have been Bucky's choice and therefore not a _self_ -inflicted death.

"I think so," Bucky said, perhaps a little hesitantly, "but I can't guarantee that I'll never have problems. I have some pretty awful memories."

"So do most service men and women who've been to war," Laura said, not trying to dismiss Bucky's legitimate fears, but to remind him that he was not alone. "Sam is already planning on dropping by regularly—for you and for Clint and maybe even me and the kids if we feel we need it."

Bucky smiled. "How is it that you can even make therapy sound like a good idea?"

Laura laughed softly and hugged Bucky harder. "It's my super power," she said half seriously. It was her job to love and protect her family, and she planned to always do it well.

"It definitely is," Bucky said, leaning in to take Laura's lips in a breathtaking kiss. Her knees were shaking by the time he lifted away. "I love you, Laura Barton."

"I love you too, Bucky Barnes," she said, "but Clint seems to have forgotten to tell you something important."

"Oh?" Bucky asked, perhaps a little bit shaken. Laura planned to make sure he never, ever felt insecure in their relationship. He was part of the family and that was never going to change.

"We had to craft new identities when we came back in to the country," she said hurriedly, not wanting him to worry something might be wrong. "My name is Laura Barnes now."

Bucky seemed lost for words and, for a painfully long heartbeat, Laura worried if he was upset. It's not as if he'd asked her or Clint to marry him or to take his name.

"Laura Barnes?" Bucky asked speculatively, his smile growing slowly. "And Clint Barnes?"

"Yup," she said, excited by his positive reaction.

"And the kids too?"

"Yep," Laura said, bouncing on her toes and grinning so widely now that she could barely talk. "We're all yours, Bucky Barnes. Every single one of us."

She cried with him then, the tears both happiness and relief for them both.

Their family was finally back together under the one roof, Bucky was recovering from his ordeal, and the rest of their life together was falling into place.

"I love you, Mrs. Barnes," Bucky said, hugging her closer.

"I love you too, Mr. Barnes, and we're all very glad you're home."


	26. Chapter 26

**Epilogue**

"Well that was rather satisfying," Tony said, grinning widely. 

Steve couldn't help but agree. Seeing Senator Ross frozen in the cryostasis pod where Bucky had once been was rather pleasing in an ironic kind of way. They'd had to keep the man—once he'd stopped being the Red Hulk—fully sedated since the incident at the base because every time Wanda had tried to release him from her shield-like hold, he'd tried again to escape.

Even the cell on the Raft designed specifically for Hulk had not been able to contain him—perhaps because Senator Ross had been involved in its design. Red Hulk could generate a serious amount of heat and nobody had really been surprised when it was the cell's one failing. At least with Tony back to being his usual suspicious self, he'd quickly sought and found what he'd suspected had been a deliberate measure Senator Ross had taken in case his Red Hulk form was ever discovered.

Thankfully everything about the day Bucky had been triggered by Rhodey had been recorded on Scott's, Bucky's, and Natasha's various recording devices so they had a judge's authorization to put Senator Ross into cryostasis and this time were working completely within the law's approval.

Nobody wanted a man like Thaddeus Ross running around free now that they knew what he was truly capable of doing. He would get a proper trial but it would be run mostly in his absence due to the extenuating circumstances of his condition.

It wasn't perfect, but it was far fairer than the treatment Steve's team had gotten at the hands of Ross himself when he'd thrown them into the Raft without trial or even a chance to explain their actions. Once the full truth had come out, even Steve's and Bucky's involvement in breaking them out had been described as a reasonable response.

Again, none of that sat well with Steve's idea of justice. He didn't think he or the rest of the Avengers should be above the law, yet he would not stand by either and let his team, or anyone else for that matter, be mistreated. Tolerance and understanding were the keys to living peacefully. Steve welcomed open debate and he knew there would always be fear mongers—freedom of speech was a big part of democracy after all—but hopefully the world was heading in a better direction now.

"So I hear the Accords," Tony said casually, "are about to be thrown out by the UN as being unlawful since they were signed under duress."

Steve grinned. He hadn't signed them, of course, but he wasn't surprised that Tony would have his lawyers looking at getting the agreement dissolved since he'd signed while under the influence of Ross's brainwashing techniques.

"That's good news," Steve said. "Have we heard anything more about Sharon?"

Now that they knew who had brainwashed Sharon Carter into shooting Steve, they'd stepped up their investigation on how it had been done. With Ross in custody they no longer had to work covertly, so it shouldn't take much longer.

"Nothing yet," Tony said, "but she was very relieved to hear that you're not dead. It apparently took a bit of convincing—which is understandable since she's wary of her own mind right now—so maybe schedule a visit in the next few days so that she knows she's not being lied to."

Steve nodded and gave Tony a speculative look. "You never did tell me how you knew she was going to shoot me. Even she didn't know that."

Tony gave him a wry smile and tilted his head to the side. "Ross told me."

"But isn't he the one who set it up?"

"I didn't know that at the time," Tony said with a shrug, "but I suspect he didn't actually want you dead, just for the world to think you were so that he had more control over you."

"Thanks to you that didn't quite work out the way he planned." 

"Yeah," Tony said smugly, "even brainwashed and oblivious I managed to foil his evil plot by spiriting you out of the country." He winked. "Clearly he underestimated the genius mind of the incredible Tony Stark." 

Steve laughed softly at Tony's antics, but the smile fell from his face when he glanced over to where Wanda and Vision were waiting for them. 

Wanda looked exhausted. She was, of course. She'd spent the past five days making sure that if Ross awakened enough to start his transformation—they already knew from the first time that he didn't need to be fully awake to change—that he was unable to escape while the medical people adjusted the dosage of the sedative they were giving him. It had been a nervous time for them all and Steve had especially hated that most of the responsibility had fallen onto Wanda's young shoulders. If the way Vision had hovered over her the whole time, Steve wasn't the only one who'd been concerned.

She was asleep by the time the hatch to the quinjet closed behind them. Steve settled into the seat near the cockpit and waited quietly as Tony got them into the air.

"So," Tony said a few minutes later, turning around to face Steve, "does this qualify as 'when this is over'?"

Steve smiled. "I guess it does." He tugged at his earlobe, a little bit nervous now and not sure what to say. "Time for that personal conversation, I suppose."

Tony shook his head and winked. "I was thinking maybe dinner and dancing would be more fun."

"Are you asking me on a date?" Steve asked, thrilled by the idea of being able to hold Tony in his arms, even if it was just to dance.

"I'm asking for a lot more than that," Tony said quietly, "but for now I'll settle for a date."

Emboldened by Tony's words Steve leaned closer, telegraphing his move so that Tony would understand his intentions. Tony grinned and met him halfway, pressing their lips together in a sweeter-than-expected kiss.

"Maybe," Steve said, hugging Tony close, "we can order in."

~*~

_Four months later..._

Bucky glanced around the crowded living room and marveled at how much his life had changed. Just a few months ago he'd been facing the very real prospect of surviving years of torture only to die at his captors' hands the moment he'd found a way to beat their programming. 

Now he had a wife, a husband, three kids, and a huge extended family that included some of the most incredible people on the planet, every single one of them willing to love and support him in whatever he might face in the future. 

But a quick survey of the room revealed that someone was missing.

Bucky found him in the barn.

"Rhodey?" Bucky asked as he moved slowly closer. "Everything okay?"

Rhodey gave him a tired smile. "How do you do it?" he asked.

"Do what?" 

"All of it," Rhodey said, looking toward the main house even though it wasn't visible through the barn wall. "After everything that was done to you, how do you trust the thoughts in your own head?"

Bucky shrugged. "I guess I don't have much choice, but it helps that I have people around me who'll let me know if I start acting strange."

"Makes sense," Rhodey whispered, his words low, his voice hoarse.

"Yeah," Bucky agreed, noting the dark circles under Rhodey's eyes. He still wasn't fully recovered from his injuries, but since the War Machine armor did the physical work anyway, Rhodey had recently started assisting the Avengers again when they got a call out. But instead of that pulling him back into the team, Rhodey seemed to be pulling away even more. "You know you've got that same support, right?"

Rhodey actually grimaced at the reminder. "Don't deserve it though."

"Of course you do," Bucky said, hurting on Rhodey's behalf. "Steve, Sam, and I, we've all been in the military. Trusting the people around you is what a soldier is supposed to do. _And_ it's the way it usually works.” Bucky placed a hand on Rhodey's shoulder the way Steve often did for him when he was feeling low. “Rhodey, you believed people who should have been trustworthy. That doesn't make you a bad guy."

Rhodey's eyes widened with his disbelief. "I almost got you killed."

" _Almost_ being the important word in that sentence."

"How can you forgive me?" Rhodey asked, clearly perplexed.

"Easy," Bucky said, honestly meaning it. "You were manipulated and lied to, but everything you did was done with the belief that you were doing the right thing. Honestly Rhodey, it's not hard at all to forgive you."

"Tony's still pretty mad,"

"Yeah, he is," Bucky agreed. "But put it in perspective. His father was an abusive drunk, Obie tried to kill him twice, and Pepper walked away when dealing with Iron Man got too hard. You were the only constant in his life through all those things. When you betrayed his trust too, you just became one more person in a long list of people he hates himself for believing."

Rhodey stayed quiet for a little while, perhaps turning over all of the memories in his mind, but when he finally spoke again it wasn't quite what Bucky had been expecting.

"The day I got hurt," he said, frowning down at the leg braces Tony had designed to help him walk, "I think maybe Vision's shot wasn't as off target as we thought."

"You didn't deserve this," Bucky said, instantly denying that Rhodey's injuries might have been some sort of karma.

"That's not quite what I meant," Rhodey said slowly, apparently searching for the words to explain. "Vision is... well, at least a part of him is JARVIS. I know he doesn't remember that side of himself, but JARVIS knew me pretty well and I often wonder if he noticed me acting out of character." He held up his hands. "I know I wasn't being brainwashed. I know that my thoughts were my own, but...I did betray a friendship I valued. I was too focused on doing what I thought was right that I forgot Tony's welfare should have been my first priority. Maybe that was JARVIS's way of trying to warn me that I was on the wrong path."

"Trying to kill you, though, sounds rather extreme."

"It is," Rhodey conceded, "but we were chasing down one of our own teammates at the time. Maybe hitting me was the lesser of two evils."

"Maybe," Bucky agree, saying the word slowly as he considered it in more detail. Of the two of them Sam was far more vulnerable when it came to falling out of the sky. Rhodey was injured very badly, but the same fall would have killed Sam. "Have you spoken to Vision about it?"

"Considered it," Rhodey said, "but never have found the right words. Walking up to the guy and saying 'oh, by the way I think you really were aiming for me that day' just doesn't seem like the right way to approach it."

Bucky laughed quietly. "I guess not."

Again they fell silent, both of them staring into space as they considered other things.

"You seem happy here," Rhodey said several minutes later, glancing over at Bucky before turning away again. "You deserve to have everything good in life."

"So do you," Bucky agreed. 

"Maybe," Rhodey mumbled unconvincingly.

"Definitely," a new voice added. 

Bucky looked up to see Tony and Steve standing near the side door of the barn. Tony moved closer, but Steve stayed in the doorway and watched. 

"Hey, Bucky," Tony said quietly, "would it be okay if I interrupted for a little bit?"

"Of course," Bucky said, glancing at Steve in time to catch his small nod. "I should get back up to the house before someone misses me."

Steve snorted indelicately. "Believe me, Buck, the other five Barneses all noticed the moment you left the room."

Bucky grinned. He was so lucky to have such an incredible family. Some days he still did wonder if he was stuck in cryofreeze dreaming his idea of a perfect life. 

Steve fell into step beside him as they headed back to the house where the Avengers, the Barnes family, and a few others were all gathered. It had become a fairly regular thing for everyone available to gather at the farm, but this was the first time in weeks that they'd all been able to make it.

It made for a rather full house.

Before entering the front door, Bucky hesitated, and turned back to look at the barn. Steve knew him well enough to pretty much read his mind.

"Tony's been looking for a reason to forgive Rhodey," Steve said reassuringly. "It took him a while to work through the emotions, but I think he finally realized that Rhodey's not like his dad or Obie."

"Pepper hurt him too," Bucky said. Tony was a really good guy and once he'd fully overcome Ross's brainwashing and gone back to trusting his own mind, he and Bucky had become fairly close friends. Tony deserved to be happy.

"Yeah, but I don't think it was deliberate," Steve admitted. "Pep's a nice lady, but she couldn't cope with loving someone who runs toward the danger instead of away from it. She still cares a great deal for Tony, but she's happier not having to deal with the day-to-day of loving a superhero." Steve grinned wickedly. "Kind of lucky for me though."

Bucky smiled, very happy to see his best friend building a solid relationship with a decent guy of his own. 

Steve leaned against the railing and gave Bucky a look he couldn't quite interpret. "Do you remember the night before you shipped out?"

"The one we spent at Stark Expo?"

"Yeah, that's the one," Steve said smiling fondly. "All that time in the ice I figured there would at least be flying cars by now." He glanced around the quiet of the farm and smiled warmly. "The world didn't turn out anything like I imagined it would." He turned toward the door just as Clint opened it and stepped onto the porch. "But somehow we both found our place in it."

"Yeah," Bucky said, blinking back happy tears as Clint moved over to where he stood, wrapped his arm around his waist, and then leaned against him, a warm, solid reminder that he was loved right here. "We're pretty lucky, Stevie. Who needs flying cars anyway?"

"Oh," Clint said with a warm chuckle, "next time Phil drops by I'll ask him to bring Lola."

"Lola?" Steve asked, sounding as confused as Bucky felt. He was pretty sure Clint had told him Phil Coulson was gay.

"You'll see," Clint said mysteriously.

Steve shook his head and smiled. "I'm going to go check in on Tony and Rhodey."

"Cool," Clint said, "I'm just going to do deliciously unspeakable things with my husband while we have the porch to ourselves."

Steve laughed. He knew Clint well enough to know he was joking, although some adult "alone time" with Clint and Laura sounded like a damn good idea to Bucky.

"Do you think anyone would notice if we spirited Laura away for a little while?"

Clint chuckled. "Dude, everyone noticed when you left the house. And I practically had to pull every ninja move I own just to get close to the exit without being stopped by a half dozen people. No way are we getting Laura out of there without everyone noticing." 

Bucky glanced at his watch. "The kids go to bed in an hour. After that I don't give a damn who notices."

Clint laughed happily, pulled Bucky in for a knee-weakening, toe-curling kiss and whispered, "Bucky Barnes, I absolutely love the way you think."

 

THE END


End file.
